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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it awkward explaining my job?

258 replies

Bluebluesea321 · 07/07/2019 17:47

Does anyone else find it awkward/tiring trying to explain their job to people e.g. when being asked in a social setting? Unless you’re a vocation like doctor, teacher, accountant etc it just feels quite difficult without either sounding boring or show-offy! I work in a senior role in financial services and although it’s a very good job I have people asking what I do!

OP posts:
Grasspigeons · 08/07/2019 08:33

I'm a school administrator. People don't even think that's a job. Fairly regularly I answer and then get asked 'and when do you think you will return to work'

OpportunityKnocks · 08/07/2019 08:49

I work in strategy. People always ask what that is when I tell them, and it's a really difficult question to answer in a single sentence and eyes glaze over very quickly.

But if I say the organisation I work for, they always assume I'm an engineer.

I now just say that I work in marketing.

SamStephens · 08/07/2019 09:43

I gave up and settled long ago for “I work for the government” or “I’m a public servant” even though these days I’m not as I’m in private enterprise but I’ve had family and friends send me job adverts in anything from IT to advisory work so it just cemented the idea that they’ll never “get” what I do even though it’s so simple to me.

Slippershoes · 08/07/2019 09:47

Yes, I dread that question.
I did used to enjoy my friend being asked though, especially in loud bars and stuff. She was a farrier and 9 times out of 10 she was misheard and the other person would think she was a furrier.

PuppyMonkey · 08/07/2019 09:53

I worked for many years as a regional newspaper reporter and I used to hate telling people what I did in social settings. I'd always get: "Oh, best be careful what I say to you then, you'll be writing a story about me." Grin Grin Hmm

No. No, I won't be.

I've now changed career somewhat, and as well as freelancing, DP and I are foster carers. Again, I feel awkward people knowing as I don't really like discussing the children we're looking after with randoms, and I can sometimes also see a look of Hmm on people's faces, as though they're judging my suitability or something.

Ooh, it's all so awkward.

Goldmandra · 08/07/2019 09:55

I have four separate roles in my job involving public sector contracts. Each role is interesting but they are all very different.

I love my job but I haven't found a good way to explain what I do to anyone who asks socially. People's eyes often glaze over so, these days, I often I just talk about the fraud investigation part and neglect to mention the other 75%.

shieldmaidenofrohan · 08/07/2019 10:06

i work in the police control room. saying this leads to many questions and the inevitable requests for legal advice, my opinion on current police issues of the day blah blah.
so i tell people I'm a pastry chef which is what i did before.

Zaphodsotherhead · 08/07/2019 10:16

I'm an author. So people have two options - either they tell me that they've written a book too, and it's on Amazon if I want to buy it (inevitably self published, I am with a publishing company, have a publishing deal and an agent and all that) or they tell me a very long winded and boring story and sit back triumphantly and tell me I can put that in a book (and give them credit and, usually, 50% of the royalties).

So I say I work the tills in the local shop (which is also true, publishing royalties being what they are).

proseccoandbooks · 08/07/2019 10:27

I' m a lawyer. I tell people (strangers)I work in a call center because otherwise they all start asking about legal matters and how their neighbour is illegally doing whatever

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 08/07/2019 10:33

I'm a Safeguarding and Mental Health Lead in a school. When I tell people what I do they often say "so you're a teacher then?" (I'm not) or "ooh how did you get into that? I'd love a term time only job!" (because obviously it's a job that anyone can do Hmm) but mostly they just look momentarily confused and then go on a massive rant about how useless their own child's school is.

Sn0tnose · 08/07/2019 10:51

I’m a civil servant. Not a James Bond type one and there is absolutely nothing glamorous or exciting about my job, but it’s a field in which everyone and their dog has an opinion and think that I’m interested in hearing it.

My DH knows exactly what I do, friends and family have a vague idea of what I do, although not the specifics. As far as acquaintances and strangers go, I work in an office doing lots of paperwork (which isn’t that far off really).

MikeUniformMike · 08/07/2019 10:54

Don't you just love being asked what you do and then having it followed up with " Is that because you're a failed ...? ".

DesignforLife · 08/07/2019 12:24

I work in a senior position in a University. I’m part of University governance and strategy and have no direct contact with students. My job title is long and full of HEI-related jargon. Most people within the sector would understand what I do but in “real life”, I wouldn’t even attempt to foist my job title on anyone. I actually love my job and find it extremely interesting and the odd person who has listened long enough to understand what I do has said that it sounds fascinating. I realise it won’t be interesting to everyone though, and there’s so much explanation involved that I can’t and won’t go into the detail every time I’m asked what I do. There is really no succinct way to sum it up.

I usually go for “I work for X University”. Very occasionally I’ll be asked what I teach and then I have to explain that I don’t hold a Lecturer or Teaching Fellow post and then they lose interest immediately. Sometimes I am told that it’s people like me and NHS Managers who are ruining the country. More often than not though, people assume that I’m “just” a secretary (their words, not mine). I’ve genuinely had conversations that have gone:

“What do you do?”
“I work for X university”
“Ah, well. Never mind, I’m sure something else will come up”

Or

“Oh, isn’t that really hard for you? I mean you went to university and now have to watch students graduating and going onto good jobs while you’re just a secretary there”.

I know I could answer the question with “I’m a manager at X university” but that sounds so wanky.

Anyone who does start to listen to the explanation of my job will invariably butt in before I’ve reached the end of the first sentence to ask me what on earth that has to do with speaking a foreign language and then tell me I’m a failure because I’m not working as an interpreter for the UN (clearly the only career path for an MEL graduate).

I also tend to get interrogated about the person’s son/daughter’s chance of getting into University, I’ll be told all about their results so far, what subjects they are taking now and predicted grades and they’ll be really anxious for me to give them advice and disappointed/annoyed when I say this is nothing to do with me. I’ll also be asked to explain why their son/daughter received a low grade in an exam. I get treated with suspicion if I admit I only have a vague sense of the academic timetable in any given year and, my personal favourite is when I get told I have an even better deal than teachers with 10-12 weeks off in the summer. Nobody will believe me when I say that not only do I work all year round but the summer is particularly busy with year-end and strategic planning work going on “but the students are off…” is a common refrain. When asked if the students are keeping me busy throughout the year, I used to try to explain that I’m not student-facing but I’ve given up now and just say yes. Unfortunately that gets me into more difficult conversations as people tend to follow it up by asking why said students are making me busy – is it exam time? Do they have accommodation problems?

More recently I’ve started telling people I work in either HR or Finance at the University. This is accepted although I still get the wasted degree comments.

francienolan · 08/07/2019 15:13

I also tell people where i work usually as it's recognizable and my job title isnt. I fell into my current job by acting up when someone more senior left, and instead of replacing her they combined my job and hers. Even at the org some people think all I do is admin still even though that's only about a quarter of my workload.

ItIsWhatItIsInnit · 08/07/2019 16:13

@speakout, what do you do?

slug · 08/07/2019 16:21

Like DesignforLife I work in a university. I'm always being asked what I teach. To be fair, I am a former teacher so I probably have a slightly bossy air about me that makes people assume this.

In fact I work in learning technologies. Unless you have been a student in the last 7 or 8 years, this will probably mean absolutely nothing to you. Most of the technologies I manage are very new or specialised and whenever I describe what I do I get blank faces.

So unless I tell people I work at the intersection of teaching and technology (wanky) or that I teach teachers how to teach using technology (about 10% of my job) I generally just tell them I work in IT.

BellatrixLestat · 08/07/2019 16:23

Yes. I have to explain the role of my department every time. Very annoying. Well known organisation so usually encourages further questioning when I mention that first

LaBarbera · 08/07/2019 16:31

I'm a translator and editor (and also a writer, but I only lead with that if I'm talking to someone about a specific project and need their input). This all gets taken 100% more seriously now I'm no longer trailing spouse to someone with a much more "ooh!" career. I also seem to have developed more of a fuck-off attitude, because I don't often get asked to work for free these days. But it used to be a bloody plague. :)

Luxplus · 08/07/2019 17:16

I work for the Danish tax authorities which a killer at any conversation.. I normally never get asked what I do but if I do ppl have no idea what I'm talking about..

StrandedStarfish · 08/07/2019 17:24

I’m a midwife. Every person I tell that to, has a very long birth story so I ’ve started telling people I’m a sex worker.

Boopeedoop · 08/07/2019 17:28

I'm a senior carer for adults and children with complex disabilities.

I get the response "oh, so you wipe arses then" Angry

Wigeon · 08/07/2019 17:41

I’m a civil servant, and most people have heard of the phrase, but practically no one knows what I might do, and it’s sometimes quite tricky judging what level of knowledge to assume. I sometimes go for “I work for the government” or “I work for X department” or “I work on X policy area for the govt” but I’m sure no one is any the wiser.

I once got chatting to a fellow wedding guest who says she was a family law barrister and I started asking her all sorts, and somehow found her out when she started talking about common law marriage, which I happened to know isn’t a thing! Turned out she was a professional violinist and just fancied having a laugh with a completely different profession! HmmGrin

Mummadeeze · 08/07/2019 17:44

I am lucky, I have an interesting job in media which I like talking about so it is a win win for me when people ask about it!

onegiftedgal · 08/07/2019 17:52

I have a very uncommon job which many people wouldn't understand. It is extremely lucrative but it's dangerous so can't tell anyone. I therefore have to 'make up' what my work is.

FelicisNox · 08/07/2019 17:54

Why not just say you work in the financial sector and then, if people push you for info you will have the opportunity to discuss it more in depth?

I'm not sure about being unreasonable but I don't think you should feel silly. You have a good job, what's to feel silly about?

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