Library - OCD

[babasaclover]

Does anyone else with OCD struggle with the idea of a library?

I like the idea of interaction and taking my child to the library, she's 3 now so this will become a reality - we have joined. But I really struggle with the amount of other people have got the books out before us, and how filthy they are. Please do not tell me I am being unreasonable because you know full well that people do not wash your hands after going to the toilet, or pick their nose or other disgusting habits.

I do not want her to miss out though in going to the library and picking a book and the excitement of it all, so my AIBU is can I get my own books and enjoy the library atmosphere?

She can't pick a book if you take hers and only let her read her books at the library though. I'm confused.

I know what you mean, but take it from a library assistant, we do check books regularly and remove any unpleasant ones from stock. People can be disgusting, but for the most part library users do take care of books. Enjoy!

I’m a bit confused, if it’s that much of an impact why bother? Especially only taking your own books, completely defeats the purpose.

I do not want her to miss out though in going to the library and picking a book and the excitement of it all

I love reading and have done since I was very young. Going to a library at that age isn’t particularly exciting, is it? It’s actually quite daunting with the choice and the need to be quiet. I’d be quite happy to take my children once they’re a bit older and able to read themselves, but currently I just make my own personal home library with second hand or 3 for £5 from The Works. No worries about keeping a three year old calm in a perfect ‘hide and seek’ area either....

Surely there are germs everywhere, all the time. Not just at the library.

The 'recent additions' shelf will always have new books on it. The rest will be checked by library staff regularly, it's great that you are supporting your local library and encouraging a love of reading!

Take her to a book shop then. Even more enjoyment to be had (at a price)

YABU

What are you going to do about school reading books?

In fact school in general, little kids are extremely generous with the germs!

I think you need to seek help for your anxiety before it affects your daughter.

I know how you feel. I purposefully look for new books - i limit myself to only borrowing ones that have either no or one date stamp on the insert! It is restricting but sometimes it can make me find a gem I would have otherwise not picked.

@DoneLikeAKipper you're wrong, toddlers love the library. Our local library has baby bounce sessions, story times and rhyme time. Regular craft sessions for little ones, digital storylines and coding sessions aimed at toddlers. It's all about playing and exploring, socialising and learning to love books. There is the summer reading challenge where rewards can be won while completing the challenge and earning a medal and certificate, the summer brings extra events, such as a visit from the local zoo, mad scientist workshops, biscuit icing and t-shirt painting. All completely free of charge. It has been a very long time since librarians insist on quiet in the library, children are very welcome and families enjoying the space is what librarians love best.

Really though people with poor hygiene could have touched anything you touch outside of your home. Door handles, items on shop shelves, toys in playgroup, instruments at music group, shopping trolleys, you just don't know... but unless immunocompromised I doubt many people catch anything from books.

I know ocd is an illness and you can't just snap out of it but I think you need to manage the anxiety around it if you want your dc to experience a library rather than just avoid it.

Have a pack of wipes handy if you want (I've been known to wipe some grim looking books we've brought home and I don't have ocd), or wash hands once back home or before eating. If it's too much for you then leave it and enjoy books at home. It isn't essential and as long as your dc have access to books won't harm their education.

This same thread was only on here the other month.

It's fine. The OCD is telling you its not, but it is.
(I have diagnosed OCD so I know how hard it can be)

I would stick to rotating a collection of books at home, picked up cheaply from bookshops etc and cleaned by you.

I’m the same but with a swimming pool.
I have to try so hard not to be sick in the pool when I see water being spurted out of other people’s mouths and I’m effectively swimming in their piss and spit.
My youngest loves to swim so I have to just suck it up and get on with it

I couldn't have limited myself to only new books for my kids, they loved being read to and I would have been bankrupt in a couple of months! They have read thousands and thousands of library books over the years, especially picture books when we went three times a week to sit and read in the children's library for hours at a time. They loved the children's section of the libraries near us, big sofas, plenty of activities, other children, friendly librarians - brilliant!

They have brilliant immune systems, probably because of their exposure to that incredible range of germs .

Do you take your child to the local playground

Do you take your child to the local swimming pool

Do you use public transport

Do you use cash

Libraries are great. You can borrow music & videos/CDs too

We don't live in a germ free world
Germs are good they help to build up our immunity to disease

I have ocd too @babasaclover and know how hard contamination ocd can be- I really struggle with even books I've just bought, can't read them in bed and always wash my hands after as who knows who browsed them before I bought it!

Just make life easier for yourself for now and pick up some cheap books- loads in poundland/the works etc to stimulate your child and maybe look into some CBT?

If you leave your home and enter the outside world there are thousands of germs absolutely everywhere. Library books are just one small example, what about softplay? Playgroup? School when your DD gets older? The playground? Supermarkets and other shops?

It can’t be avoided if you want to live any sort of life. Library books are clean, the librarians remove any grotty broken ones from circulation.

@Treaclepie19 thank you. Sometimes you just need to be told if you know what I mean. It is the ocd not logic as such. I am not diagnosed but definitely do not like touching things in public that others have. Any tips for 'telling' myself it's ok? I saw a therapist who understood where I was coming from so that didn't help!

@ChrisPriss thank you. What a wonderful job you have. I do truly value the library - it is an amazing resource

@RonnieScotts Thank you so much for the tip, it is good to know. I always support local libraries, always take my old books in that I have bought and read once – they then put them in circulation as they are in such good condition. I'm horrified to know that local councils cut fund into the libraries, it is such a great resource for the whole community.

@PhoebeFriends Did you know that you can go on and order books before they are released, months in advance. that way you get put in a queue and all the brand-new books get allocated to those in the queue first from all up and down the country. That way no one has ever checked them out when you get them 👌👌👌

and the brand new books you are preordering have been handled by the person taking them off the printing machine, the person who packs them in the boxes to send to the distributor, the distributor who packs it in the envelope or bag to send it to your address, and then the postman who puts it through your letter box, so several people have already handled your new book

@babasaclover sorry if I sounded harsh.
The problem with OCD is, it's hard to argue with. So for example, I struggle with raw meat. Nobody can tell you that it's okay to be touching raw meat and not washing your hands. So I felt justified in washing multiple times, cleaning everything in sight and changing my clothes.
The problem is, the more you do the worse it gets.

These days I hear an OCD thought come on and try to straight away address it. So "a library book may make me ill"
In that case I might have washed my hands after touching it, which wouldn't have been enough because how many things had it already contaminated?
You'll never please your OCD. So now I would say right, it's very unlikely to get ill from a library book. Let's stop the thought. Touch it and then if you're up to it eat something without washing your hands (that way you've already encountered any "germs" so pointless doing anything about it) or do something physical otherwise (knitting, weeding, reading, etc) to keep you busy.
It's really hard, I do feel for you.

I’ve worked in libraries for over 30 years and honestly believe a library book has never made me ill.