To think a 10 year old should be able to wrap a present himself?

[Kitsandkids]

Friend’s party today. I normally help him with the wrapping but the toddler is going through a ‘mine!’ phase so I’m breastfeeding her and keeping her away from the wrapping things that she’ll inevitably want to grab!
10 year old is wailing at me that he can’t do it. The scissors don’t work. The paper won’t cut straight etc. He is doing it. Slightly rubbishly but I don’t mind that. But he’s getting himself so cross about it.
Am I being mean making him do it? Or am I right thinking that at 10 (and a half) he should be able to wrap a gift himself? When he’s had years of me making him help so therefore does know what to do!

My brother couldn’t wrap ( 5 years older than me ) especially awkward shapes I would hoard shoe boxes etc ready for my Christmas wrapping and often got him to pop my gift in one and then wrap my
Own but still not know what I had 😂😂😂( I was 10 he was 15 !! )

I wonder if part of the reason he was getting frustrated was that you were “prioritising” the toddler over him? A task that is frustrating for him and he’s possibly wanting to make a good impression for his friend; and in the past you would have helped him - but not now because of the toddler.

Not blaming you at all - Absolutely fine and character building for him to realise he can’t always have the attention, as long as you are making the effort to have 1:1 time etc. Just an explanation for why he may have got a bit more wound up?

Is it that he can't or is it that he was pissed off with his baby sister demanding all your time?

Anyway, I'm glad he managed it but don't be too hard on him until you've taken a step back to look at exactly what was going on.

If I help him I’ll have to put the toddler down. Who will insist on grabbing the paper. And the toy. And the scissors. Etc

I'm sorry but this is the wrong reason to expect him to be able to do it.

He can either do it or do it with help. He has indicated he needs help. His sibling isn't his issue. He is just a 10 year old that wants some help from mum.

Have you not got a table you could sit at while toddler wanders about?

Just starting to make my 7 year old DS do it. He uses ALL the paper and ALL the sellotape so working on that, but on the whole it looks ok-ish and he’s rather proud once he’s done it and tells his friends he’s wrapped it himself (after throwing a paddy initially of course, like every time I want him to do anything at all - different story)

Sorry I missed your update.

I know at 10 I was wrapping presents.

Please don't base your expectations of him on your abilities though. We are not all the same.

Ha ha, I’d forgotten how harsh AIBU can be! I have shown him. Many, many times. And I have 3 kids to manage actually and do a pretty good job most days if I say so myself!

Anyway, he did one present, I found some toys for toddler and got the present for next week’s party out and did it for him while he wrote the card. So I hope he doesn’t feel too hard done by!

He's managed it. Good.

I think if he hadn't then the solution would have been for the OP to give him instructions but not actually do it.

DD can wrap anything, any shape, exquisitely with ribbon and whatnots.
DS can’t, so he used present bags and cuboid boxes.

I find that AIBU gets weird about anything to do with sibling dynamics, OP! I guess we all have hang-ups from our own childhoods when we felt that our siblings were favoured..

I don't think it was an unrealistic expectation to have of a ten year-old. Glad he managed one!

You have free hands to type on here asking if you should help your 10 year old son? 🙄

This is something I've done 'with' my dc since they were 4 or 5, so they've learnt, and yes now at 10 & 8 I wouldn't get involved at all. They know to choose the present from the box, check the price is about £10, take the prices off, wrap, select card from box, write card.

Tinfoil is your friend 😂

I'm 50/50.
Ds2 is 9 and wraps presents himself.
I just cut the paper to size and show him the best places to stick the sellotape.
Yes it looks likè it's been wrapped by a 9 year old but so does mine.
Bugger nose why everything doesn't come in nice square boxes though.

I doggedly wrapped all my own gifts from about the age of 6. I was actually pretty proud of the ninety percent sellotape wrapped two pound coins I gave my brother one year.

My personal opinion is that in gift giving, it's good to encourage kids to take on as much as the process of choosing, wrapping and presenting as early as possible. It may result in far odder gifts, far more poorly wrapped, but learning how to pay attention to people's likes, put them first and to do it themselves is something that will stand them in excellent stead in later life.

It’s a real test of fine motor skills if the pressie isn’t cube shaped. Have you got a gift bag and tissue paper maybe?

It seems you are infantilising one child-breastfeeding a toddler just to keep it quiet- whilst expecting another child to just get on with something he struggles with although he clearly needs your help. Be careful because that could eventually cause resentment between the siblings.

Anyway, he did one present, I found some toys for toddler and got the present for next week’s party out and did it for him while he wrote the card. So I hope he doesn’t feel too hard done by!

Most of us would have done that in the first place

The trick here is to not have more kids than you can parent effectively. A 10 year old shouldn’t be expected to behave like a grown up just because you’re breastfeeding a 2-3 yo.

I don't think it's unreasonable for most ten-year-olds who have been shown repeatedly to be able to have a good enough try at it.

I'd be a little worried if my 10-year-old was acting like that over this, mine tend to get like that when they're really tired / overwhelmed / stressed though they can get a bit grumpy if given an unexpected request like this one seems to have been for him.

Like others though, I almost only gift bags now, with paper only for those who have told me they really like it. Life is too short for the faff that it is to me, an easier contained mess, and reuseable. Even for those that like it, I'd keep a few gift bags on hand for when things are hectic.

Flossie, some people struggle with various skills. For me, it’s most tasks involving fine motor skills. Possibly if I was growing up nowadays I would be diagnosed with dyspraxia, but it wasn’t really a thing when I was young

A 10 year old shouldn’t be expected to behave like a grown up just because you’re breastfeeding a 2-3 yo.

Wrapping a present adequately for a friend isn't remotely 'behaving like a grown up' FFS.

Pre-cut sellotape

No!!!!!!!! Double sided every time, nothing worse than visible sellotape! Also, never use scissors, a sharp knife gives a far better edge.

I’m 30 and have yet to master this particular life skill.

I’ve invested in these to combat my failure, as the rest of my family are all better than average at wrapping. They come in different colours and designs too