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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is inappropriate of SIL?

35 replies

GkurzaJ · 07/07/2019 00:26

DN is 15 and SIL likes to post long tangents about her on Facebook. For example (not exactly what she puts obv but along the same lines):

"Had a bad day with DD today! Been a bit lippy with me over boyfriend troubles! What a nightmare!"

"I feel like such a bad mother to DD sometimes. She can be such hard work. I sometimes feel I fail her."

"DD really needs to apply herself at school. She prefers friends and boyfriends! Typical teenager but need to make sure she reaches her potential as all my lovely older nieces/nephews have!"

In response to article about local girl being bullied: "DD was/is bullied as well! But she knows they are just soulless. We often laugh together at pictures the bullies take in skimpy dresses with sticky out bums etc!"

"We were out last night and DD was at home with her boyfriend and dog. The dog was thrilled to see us when we came home and DD said he cried all night. He's so soft!"

These but put into 500 odd words ^

SIL's posts tend to get 15 likes but ones about DN always get none, so I can't be the only one who's a bit Hmm by them. One time DN responded to a comment of her mum's saying "I asked you to stop doing this." on public settings.

AIBU to feel quite sorry for DN? Some posts are extremely personal which I won't go into details about but it gets a lot worse than the examples I gave. There's always updates about names she's called her mum during rows and friend and boy issues. SIL seems oblivious to it and her settings are 100% public so any old weirdo can read them. DN clearly hates it. Obviously I don't want to bring it up to her but I mentioned it to DB and he wasn't even aware she was doing it.

OP posts:
Whisky2014 · 07/07/2019 15:31

I think you should call sil and say you are concerned about what she's posting on social media, especially when your niece has asked her to stop

Luckingfovely · 07/07/2019 15:36

You know that you can report fb posts? I would go through her timeline and report every single one about her daughter as harassment, and if it asks for a reason, write 'exploitation of minor'.

I would expect her to be shut down pretty quickly. If you can get others to do the same thing, even better.

I appreciate this may sound quite extreme, but it doesn't sound like she will listen any other way.

breakfastpizza · 07/07/2019 15:38

I used to follow a vlogger with a common interest. She's very entertaining, but it's clear that she forces her kids to appear in videos against their will.

I stopped watching when she casually referenced her 13-year-old son's suicide attempt. With the camera zoomed in on his face. He was blindsided and tried to smile as he blinked back tears. This wasn't live. She later edited it together and still thought it was okay to post.

mbosnz · 07/07/2019 15:43

I got fed up with a friend who did this, and said on facebook that if she has an issue with her kids, could she please talk to them about it, and not air the family's dirty linen or her kids' personal business on social media.

Didn't do the friendship a lot of good at the time, but to her credit, she took it on board, and ceased and desisted from that time on.

Cherrysoup · 07/07/2019 16:01

Serious words needed with your brother. Is he aware his dd’s personal history will be on the Internet forever more? First thing many employers do is search Facebook for family and friends’ posts when looking to employ someone.

Chinks123 · 07/07/2019 16:13

I had a family member who used to do this. Every movement, every argument, even really personal things, she’d put on Facebook. I don’t know why she did it. To embarrass me/to get a reaction/ to get validation from her friends? It’s embarrassing and really really annoying. I’d constantly get screenshots from my friends of statuses she’d written about me.

I’m no contact with her now and my life is so much calmer. I recently saw through mutual friends, her shaming another family member on there, so she hasn’t changed. Multiple comments said “keep this off Facebook.” Etc. but she doesn’t listen. Facebook for some people is a diary and it’s really annoying, your SIL needs to stop. It’s personal information of your nieces that’s out there for anyone to read.

Rachelover40 · 07/07/2019 16:13

Awful, she shows no respect for her daughter. What's the matter with the woman?

serenoa · 07/07/2019 16:26

This is child abuse, surely? The NSPCC can help but it seems your SiL needs help as much as your poor DN.

qazxc · 07/07/2019 17:19

Yabu
It is really inappropriate.

fiydwi · 07/07/2019 17:26

Why aren’t you calling her out on it on Facebook? I’d be commenting and reporting on every single one. She’s disgusting x

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