Help! 8 month old sleep driving me crazy, worried I'm messing it all up!

[poppymatilda]

Please someone help!

DD has always been a decent sleeper. Learnt the difference between night and day within the first couple of weeks and dropped her night feeds on her own until at 2 months old she was just waking for one at 3/4am. It took 10 mins and she'd drop off whilst drinking the last bit and go straight back down (she's formula fed btw). She never woke between feeds, just sqwarked and opened her eyes occasionally in the night and then went back off to sleep.

She started sleeping through sporadically from 3 months but the last night feed was a bit stubborn. I didn't really mind as it was so easy but as she got near 6 months we started to dream feed her and she dropped the night feed and then the dream feed pretty quick... ALTHOUGH... at about the same time she started solids, learnt to sit up and stand, started settling in at nursery, got sick a few times etc. Her sleep went wrong around then and has never really recovered.

She started waking multiple times a night (but not every night - occasionally she still sleeps through). We never feed her at these wakings so she's not waking cos she's hungry but absolutely nothing soothes back to sleep except the dummy. Patting, shushing, even picking her up and cuddling has no effect but we've discovered that if we put the dummy in her mouth she turns her head to one side and falls back to sleep literally instantly. We're worried about creating an attachment to the dummy which will be impossible to break but we have tried everything else we can think of without success. She never even needed a dummy at night in the early days so god knows where it's come from.

Oddly she still goes off to sleep fine at her usual bedtime with no CIO or similar needed. She has always done this. I put her down drowsy but awake, leave the room and she's asleep within 20 minutes.

Is it just a phase/8 month regression etc? Will it ever get better and will she ever quit the dummy? Is there anything we can do or do we just have to wait it out? I'm about to go back to work so could really do with it improving soon...

When they're this little everything is a phase. Sleeping through? That's a phase. Waking up for the dummy? That's a phase.

She won't still be doing it when she's 19 so I wouldn't worry about it. If you all get more sleep when she has a dummy I'd give her the dummy. Re-evaluate when she's old enough to pay for a Disney toy with all the dummy's she's collected.

Sincerely, person whose baby never accepted a dummy and who hadn't slept in 2 years.

She could be hungry, a night feed (or even feeds) is normal until around 18 months. You could try a feed on the first waking and see if it stops the subsequent ones. The heat may also be contributing and making her extra thirsty, or just a regular growth spurt.

Just give her the dummy ffs! If there's actually something that will send her off to sleep, how lucky you are! So many women say that nothing will soothe the baby back to sleep. And does it really matter if she develops a fondness for it? No it doesn't!

If it makes u feel any better my 8 month old needs my boob,a comfort blanket,a label attached to a different,my boob and to be laid next to me in bed for me to stand any chance of her going back to sleep and she wakes multiple times. Trust me if all you need is a dummy at this stage she’s doing well!

Apologies for that post not making sense,trying to type while said baby is whacking the phone with her hand

I used to give mine whatever they wanted as long as they fell back asleep quickly! DS1 would often have 2 or 3 bottles a night at age 1 which was probably too much but it worked! All my children also co-slept, used dummies at night, had to be rocked to sleep etc -but by about age 2 they were all going to bed after a story - and sleeping through most of the time.

I wouldn't overthink it- just do whatever you need to do now to get some sleep.

@missingsilence - A night feed at 18 months. Are you kidding?! Babies are capable of sleeping through around 6 months and some do it much earlier.
She's definitely not hungry. Offered her a bottle on a few occasions and she'll either push it away angrily or take a couple of sips and clamp her mouth shut and refuse anymore

Yup, sounds like a baby! Sorry about your sleep OP but you're doing nothing wrong as such and there's nothing to worry about. She'll get better. Or worse. Then change again. Do whatever maximises sleep. A dummy? Psshaw. Time enough to get rid of it later. Right now, prioritise 😴 above dignity, what other people think, concern re future etc.

Thanks ladies. You've made me feel better about the dummy. Just keep envisaging her as a 4 year old wandering around pre school with a dummy hanging out of her mouth and everyone thinking I'm a bad mother!

@poppymatilda

The fact you're worrying about that happening means it won't! You'll put the effort into breaking the habit when the time is right (basically when she has the verbal and mental skills to be bribed!!); In the meantime, get some effing sleep 😉

My mum also makes me feel worse by casually mentioning that I was exclusively breast fed, never had a dummy and was happy all the time. Oh and apparently in those days they had to get us sleeping through because mat leave was 12 weeks and then they had to get back to work. I can't believe that all babies back then slept through at 12 weeks....

Incidentally..... How the actual fuck did they all go back to work at 12 weeks? I couldn't remember my name 12 weeks in....

My baby slept through the night for the very first time at 9 months... hang on in there, hopefully it's just a phase

I said “up to around” 18 months. I’m a sleep consultant. It’s just we don’t normalise it in our society. Only 25% sleep through before 12 months...
Only trying to help and answer your question!

Big fan of path of least resistance parenting here: just give her the dummy.

Ok, thanks all. So based on your comments I've gone for the path of least resistance and bunged her the dummy!

It's just such bad timing. My work made me redundant whilst on mat leave so just started a new job. My confidence still on the floor from how my old work treated me. Thinking I've bitten off more than I can chew. Stressing about the nursery run etc, not leaving the office too early but still getting back in time, could do with a little sleep to make everything easier!

Sorry to hear about your job OP and you’re right, just do what works for you right now. My sister was 5 before my parents wrenched her dummy off her, and even then she kept one hidden under her mattress! But she’s in her twenties now and I’m pretty sure she hasn’t got a dummy anymore

Our baby (7m) often cries a lot in his sleep - at first we thought it was night waking but he’s fast asleep when he does it. I wonder if your baby is in a lighter phase of sleep (from say 1am onwards)