OH uncomfortable with my emotions

[PSILoveWine]

So I've been with my OH for 12 years now, 2 kids.
We met very young and he was a bit of a dick back then if I'm honest. Small example, he used to get annoyed when I was even remotely upset about things that are very real to me, family fallouts etc. So I learned quickly not to cry.
He really has grown up over the years and has been supportive when necessary.
I just don't know if I abu that now after 12 years I still feel like he doesn't actually give a shit.
Tonight for example I heard a song on the TV, I was in no way upset btw or remotely emotional I just stated matter of factly that the song brought back memories as I was bullied badly as a teen and the bullies would chant those lyrics.
Well I didn't even get finishing what I was saying when OH snapped 'do we really need to go down memory lane with everything'.
That doesn't happen btw (going down memory lane all the time) I was just thinking out loud.
I knew right away he thought I was going to talk about my feelings and now it has just got me feeling angry that after all this time, he still feels uncomfortable with me talking about myself unless he feels like it's a real reason to show emotion.

No you aren't being unreasonable. But i share the pain. My other half is on the spectrum and simply can't handle emotions of others, can be tricky and it can feel lonely when they won't help you through the emotion.

Doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. Why are you with him?

How does he deal with his own emotions?

OP, by him trying to prevent you expressing your emotions, shutting you and any conversations of emotions down, he is infact bullying you, being abusive, and very controlling.

His remark about "memory lane" is belittling and nasty IMO.

This is deeply, deeply unhealthy for you.
And lonely too. But very unhealthy.

It will not get better on its own.

What is the rest of your relationship like?
Does he co-parent?
Does he do his share in the house etc?
Is he a kind supportive man.

If he is otherwise a good husband, looking into therapy, could help you sort out what you need to do and how to get what you want.

However, if he is generally an abusive bully, then maybe you need to plan for a future without him.

You are not compatible

He's not on the spectrum fanjango. I would empathise if that was the case.

He deals with his emotion through being angry and snappy and smoking to relieve those feelings. Not all the time, but he does.

I am with him because I do love him. He is all I've known since leaving high school he is my first relationship.

Doesn't sound like he supports you emotionally. How does he support you?

Billy - thank you for your reply.

I agree I felt belittled by the comment.

Our relationship is okay. We co parent well. He doesn't do a great deal of housework but he genuinely believes he does 😏

He is supportive in areas he values.

We get on well but I often feel like he is only happy when we do family things that he enjoys.. Not really considerate of mine or our DD's interests.

Blue - I'm struggling to answer that.. We are both earners.
I guess he does support me to an extent when I am anxious with work related matters, he does make me feel better.

How are you both generally?

DH is very emotionally spare. He can cope with happy and angry and that's it. It can be tough but the good outweighs the difficult.

However I do worry what it's teaching DS, how are your kids with emotion?

I guess he does support me to an extent when I am anxious with work related matters, he does make me feel better

Of course he does. Work = money. He can't support you emotionally at all yet he's happy to help you deal with and stay in work.

He deals with his emotion through being angry and snappy and smoking

What does he get angry about? And what is he smoking?