AIBU or is my ex?

[MockingmyPND]

So ex was suppose to have the kids today until Monday, he texts me 2 hours before picking them up, saying he’s going to a dinner party at a friends house and will be picking them up in the evening. At 8pm, I text him how long he’s going to be and he says ‘ I’ll let you know when I’m leaving’ 9.30pm, my kids have been waiting all day, and they keep asking when he’s going to come. So I text him ‘ I guess you’re going to come once you feel like you’ve socialised enough’ sorry but I was pissed at this point. He says ‘ It’s been so long since you’ve socialised with humans you’ve forgotten what it’s like, I’m having drinks’ .

AIBU to think that you would be one of the first ones to leave the dinner party when you know your children are waiting for you and you haven’t seen them for a week?

And AIBU to think that his last comment is mocking my PND? I suffered terribly with PND for a few years, and as a result of that there was a period where I didn’t go out or did anything with friends.

He’s a dick. I’m having drinks = getting pissed, tell the kids not to wait up

He’s s nob x

I don't think he was specifically pointing out your PND. But he is being spectacularly useless with picking up his children this evening.

Going forward, a particular time and place for handover of the children would be a sensible thing for you and ex to sort out.

Although this is AIBU on a Saturday night so of course any sensible reasonable practical suggestions will almost certainly be swamped in LTB. (Leave The Bastard). I've done this myself before so won't judge. In fact it worked and my life is much better. But my circumstances were very different from yours.

Fuck that. Stop accommodating his shitty behaviour. You give him times he can take the kids and if he can't or doesn't show up- just don't respond to him. He can take you to court otherwise and he'll have to do what he's told. Don't let shitty men f*ck you around. It's not fair on the kids either and it's not a good example to show them. Don't accommodate crap men I've stopped and I wish everyone else would too. Sorry not trying to be harsh with you I feel for you but men like this who feel entitled to whatever they want and entitled to women accommodating them really really get to me. It's patriarchy and it's bullshit.

How old are the kids. Obviously he's not going to be picking them up tonight so I'd put them to bed and tell him they (not you) are expecting him at x o'clock in the morning. Tit.

And to be making you feel bad about it. Makes my blood boil. Jesus Christ why are men like this? 😭

I’d not let your kids go anywhere with a guy that had been “having drinks” all night, father or not

He is being unreasonable. If he was attending a dinner party he'd have known about it before today.
He shouldn't lie about when he's picking his kids up - why not just say can I get them tomorrow?!

I don't think he's mocking your PND though x

Put
It hasn’t been long enough. Your still a dick.
Kids are going to bed. Fuckity bye. Cunt.

I would be putting the kids to bed and not letting them go anywhere with someone who was ' having drinks'.

I do hope he isn't driving

@7yo7yo yes

Drinks more important than his kids. Tells you everything you need to know. He's selfish.

I've just put them to bed and told him not to bother, no matter what he always makes me look like the unreasonable one, and nothing he does is wrong. Kids are 5 and 7.

I wouldn't want him taking the kids when he's been boozing, anyway. What an irresponsible nobhead

I hope you told him to forget about picking them up if his drinking. If he cannot pick them up as scheduled tell him he cannot have them. Its his time with them he has had 5 other nights in the week to socialise. If something is urgent then he arranges childcare. He does not let you know at the eleventh hour that his mates and social life are more important than his children. Personally I would tell him if he does it again I will see him in court when I ask them to fix when he sees them do if he breaches it and let's them down again he is held accountable. Its not fair expecting you to pick up the pieces while they wonder if and when dad will show up or in what state.

Him, I mean

That's the patriarchy- it's a super common trait of men to make out everything the woman (especially mum) does is always wrong and everything he does is right and justified. How dare he take that dig at you and how dare he not show up when you accommodate him to come whenever he pleases anyway. How dare he think that's acceptable? It's absolutely not and now you have text message proof of him being a shit take him to court and hold him accountable. I'm so sorry that you have to put up with him.

Never engage.

After the first message saying he'd pick them up later you could consider saying 'anytime up to 7 is fine. After that I'm putting them to bed'.

Or have agreed times in place in future.