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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be a bemused with all the teacher hating threads?

19 replies

runningheights · 06/07/2019 20:38

Sorry, I’m new but I’ve been lurking for years upon years since the early/mid 2000s! Recently I’ve come across a lot of threads picking up on the small details teachers may do slightly wrong and twist them. I’m retraining to be a teacher and I’m worried now!!

Is it really that wrong for teachers to discuss love island and gossip with teenagers like a poster (perhaps a troll not sure) was upset with, to ask children to have purple pens, to not wear tons of jewellery, to not want to be messaged on instagram at end of GCSE parties by students flirting etc?

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GnomeDePlume · 06/07/2019 21:09

I think some of the problem is that the nit-picking over tiny details goes both ways. Students and therefore parents get picked on for having the wrong socks (or something equally trivial) so that does open the gates to criticisms back.

Teachers shouldnt attempt to be friends with or parent students. That isnt their role.

Social media access into private lives is a major problem in general not just specific to teachers.. The technology has developed far faster than the etiquette to deal with it. We know not to stare into other people's houses then knock on the door to tell them that their choice furnishings is dreadful. That same social rule hasnt been learned in social media

runningheights · 06/07/2019 21:12

Yes I suppose that’s true, social media has developed dreadfully fast in the last decade or so. But surely teachers, comforting/opening up etc to students is good so the students trust them as they might be the only ‘safe’ adult in that child’s life. And on the previous threads , examples like residential trips are the perfect setting

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mbosnz · 06/07/2019 21:16

The trouble is the blurring of boundaries.

Can't make it easy on a Monday, if you've been gossiping and friending on SM over the weekend, when you have to pull the student up for being arsey to the teacher?

runningheights · 06/07/2019 21:21

No I understand that. But I don’t get why it’s an issue to have a mundane, chit chat
about teachers boyfriend, love island and whatnot on a relaxing school trip? What’s wrong with a bit of a jolly

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TabbyMumz · 06/07/2019 21:21

I guess when you get the impression from teachers that they think most parents are rubbish, the parents look for faults back.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 06/07/2019 21:21

Students and therefore parents get picked on for having the wrong socks (or something equally trivial) so that does open the gates to criticisms back

Teachers don’t make up these rules though. Most teachers I know would much rather simply teach than have to deal with issues such as this.

When the school fines parents for holidays etc the teachers are the ones that get the blame. Then the teachers have endless holidays argument gets thrown in. There are lots of teacher bashing threads but no management bashing ones.

7sausagedoggys · 06/07/2019 21:22

The majority of the threads you have reference were deleted due to them being started by a troll.

runningheights · 06/07/2019 21:25

@7sausagedoggys Really? That’s good to know.

@ThatssomebadhatHarry Exactly

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TabbyMumz · 06/07/2019 21:28

"There are lots of teacher bashing threads but no management bashing ones."

Most management are teachers, or have been teachers.

FlyingElbows · 06/07/2019 21:31

Personally I'm loving all the teacher hating threads. I was having trouble sleeping last weekend and read one which helped me decide on my dissertation topic. Please keep the "teachers don't even do anything and it's sooooooo easy to teach the little ones" coming. The total disconnect between the perception of what's involved in primary education and the on the ground reality is massive.

7sausagedoggys · 06/07/2019 21:32

@runningheights yes they messed up and posted with the wrong username on one of the threads. They had about 3 running at once. They also kept start other threads discussing it 😕

runningheights · 06/07/2019 21:39

Oh dear Grin Well it’s good they’re gone now but my point still
stands as on a couple of them many people were agreeing.

Why are teachers getting hate on here for trying to bond with students?

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GnomeDePlume · 06/07/2019 21:47

I know the teachers dont make the rules but they are the face of the school for students and parents so will be seen to represent the school.

Something I dont often see here on MN is teachers challenging the dafter rules. Perhaps they do.

TabbyMumz · 06/07/2019 21:53

"Why are teachers getting hate on here for trying to bond with students"
Teachers need to have a professional distance. They are not there to bond with students.

GnomeDePlume · 06/07/2019 21:54

I think as a PP has said it is when the bonding oversteps boundaries.

recrudescence · 06/07/2019 22:04

I’m retraining to be a teacher and I’m worried now!!

I think you’re right to be worried.

stopitandtidyupp · 06/07/2019 22:08

Teacher training 101 is to encourage positive relationships. It often gets more difficult students on side.

Just that there is a happy medium like everything.

Discussing love island fine, maybe linking to how it affects society- fine.

Saying you went to the new restaurant in town- fine.

Saying you spent the weekend drinking, vomiting blacked out and now need emergency contraception - not fine.
Ok that's a little bit extreme but you get my point.

Flowerballs · 07/07/2019 09:24

Parents are the problem, teachers are the scapegoats. Other societies appear able to accept parental responsibility and respect the role of educators with little tension between the two. You will always be a punch bag teaching in the UK, but these children desperately need you!

Shinyletsbebadguys · 07/07/2019 09:46

See I don't have a problem with teachers trying to bond with pupils at all ,by all means use popular culture to do it as long as a reasonable boundary is kept (think no sexual talk etc). Frankly it will be good for DC when they are at that stage as i can't bear reality crap.

However I do get frustrated with the poor me we have it worse than any other profession line. Seriously I work in Social care .....if teachers think they have it harder than the carers and managers I see working 90 hours a week to make sure people are able to get out of bed ,that services pass CQC inspection , that people get the medical care they need when services try to give up on them at 70 then they are delusional , several industries are struggling due to lack of money and overworked pressure not just teaching.

Teachers have it hard I agree ....but I've seen so many comments claiming it's so much worse for them than other professions and it's not true. Lots of professions are hard and deal with cost cutting but I often see really quite entitled posts on here from teachers that I do think...damn half my care managers would kill to have that issue.

I fully admit though part of my frustration is ds1 has been at a school ( I fully accept it is this particular school not all) where the teachers and staff have massively overstepped with several children and become controlling to parents to fit their idea of what children should do at home. It's become an issue for several parents.

I see on here claims that teachers don't have time to do xyz which is not always the case I've seen it myself. That they spend time on things that have caused several parents serious stress and concern and this has genuinely been the teacher rather than management ( when my turn came to get it I successfully challenged with senior management who had little idea and it was all sorted out ). Other parents were not so lucky and have been horribly impacted by teachers putting their own views in parenting into the mix without the necessary qualifications (think lack of in depth SEN knowledge and making arbitrary decisions ).

Ultimately I think it's about people ...theee are some genuinely brilliant hard working teachers who are being hammered by the system and they have my full support and empathy

However those that claim they are more hard done by than anyone else and people just don't unnnddserrstaaand are frustrating....no perhaps I don't but do you understand how it feels to work 90 hours a week and have to make a judgement call daily about calling an ambulance or a doctor that may lead to someone's I'll health worsening and them passing? Then cleaning up afterwards and going to the next 5 clients? No, how about desperately arguing that someone doesn't need palliative care and if they are put on it it will become a self fulfilling prophecy and they will die for no reason In a couple of weeks time ( because I had that discussion a month ago and lost....guess what happened)

I love my industry and I accept it's hard and has got much harder due to regulations and lack of money but I chose it ....i don't believe we have it harder than all other industries it's just different. If all of us in teaching and social care and councils could all accept we all have challenges , it's not just us or you , I suspect the communication between us all whether professionally or about our DC would go a lot smoother.

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