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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so upset by this

8 replies

Tentativesteps133 · 06/07/2019 19:23

When I got married I had 3 bridesmaids, 2 friends from school (A+B) and my best friend from uni (C).

C got engaged at the start of the year, asked me to be her bridesmaid and booked a venue. A got engaged a few weeks ago, I was delighted for her as I know she wants to get married and have babies asap. I told A the date of C's wedding when she called to let me know they were engaged, and reminded her again when I went home to celebrate the engagement in person. She said they were thinking of doing it a couple of months later anyway.

If you can't already guess the punchline, A text earlier to tell me to save the date as the venue they want has had a cancellation and they've booked it for the same day that C gets married.

I'm absolutely gutted, I've known A since we were kids (20+years) and can't belive I'm not going to be there on her wedding day. When I told her she said words to the effect of 'oh no! Well obviously C asked you first but I'm sad you won't be there'. AIBU to feel that she's prioritised a reception venue (the ceremony is in her church and no issues with dates) over me.

Not sure what I'm expecting from this, I feel a bit pathetic and I know it's entirely up to A to get married whenever she wants to and it's about her and her fiancee not me. I just feel totally bummed out, my 2 best friends choosing the same day out of all the weekends over the next year.

OP posts:
ElizaPancakes · 06/07/2019 19:25

YANBU to feel upset you have to miss one, but YABU to say that she's prioritised a reception venue over you. I mean, she has, but it's her wedding.

AnneLovesGilbert · 06/07/2019 19:27

YANBU to be upset but nothing you can do. What a shame.

GruciusMalfoy · 06/07/2019 19:28

YANBU to be upset, but neither is she BU to book a date which means she can be married sooner than she'd anticipated. I don't think it's a case of prioritising a venue over you. It's their day, their marriage, and they're prioritising that over any guest.

unicorncupcake · 06/07/2019 19:30

I had to miss a very very dear friends wedding because the date clashed with another equally dear friends wedding (different social circles so they knew each other through me but weren’t friends themselves). It was sad, but it wasn’t all about me, so I didn’t make a fuss. There’s nothing you can say really I don’t think.

Pipandmum · 06/07/2019 19:34

I was invited to two weddings of very dear friend both abroad during the same month four weeks apart . I couldn’t decide between them (I couldn’t fly out that far twice in one month) so declined both. Still gutted.

Tentativesteps133 · 06/07/2019 19:35

Thanks for your replies. I totally agree, it's not about me and I'm not going to say anything to her. I guess that's why I posted here, I don't even want to vent to my other friends because I don't want it to get back to her. The prioritising comment was drama-llama-y which is not me at all, I'm usually unflappable and never cause a scene.

Hopefully after a bit of time to digest I'll feel better about it.

OP posts:
Millipedewithherfeetup · 06/07/2019 20:10

Is there any way you can attend both ? Ceremony and meal of A then evening reception of C ?

Tentativesteps133 · 06/07/2019 21:16

@Millipede - I did think this but don't want to leave C's after the meal as I feel like I'd rather participate fully in one than half heartedly in both plus they are 2+hours apart.

OP posts:
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