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AIBU?

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Original poster

Unisex toilets in school?

31 replies

WoofWoofMooWoof · 06/07/2019 13:52

I apologise if this topic has been discussed before - it probably has, but I must have missed it.

My DTDs are starting high school in September. During a parents information evening earlier this week we were all quite surprised to see the toilets are unisex. Boys on one side and girls on the other, but in the same room with only a low row of basins separating the two areas.

Now I have no problem with gender neutrality/trans sexualism/any other ality or ism, and whether you call yourself he, she or it, but...girls of this age are at the most akward stage of their lives - they're developing boobs, starting periods etc. So isn't being told they have to share a bathroom with boys going to make matters worse and even more akward?

I get that they're trying to make toilets accessable for children of every persuasion, but what about girls' rights to privacy at a weird and embarrassing stage of their lives?

OP posts:
Thebig3 · 06/07/2019 14:12

I personally dont understand the issue at all if there are separate cubicles, which sounds like there is. All you do outside of the cubicle area is wash your hands?!?! Or am I missing something?

Pipandmum · 06/07/2019 14:17

Well kids don’t go to the toilets just to, you know, go to the toilet! They go to get away from someone, have a gossip, take a break, beat someone up (it’s a teacher free zone)...
Also my daughter finds it hard enough to ‘go’ in a public place and if she heard a bunch of boys in there she’d totally freeze and not move til they left.
I think they need to be separate spaces. As for gender identity stuff - I think if you have a penis you go to one room, if you don’t you go to another.

FamilyOfAliens · 06/07/2019 14:22

Are they new toilets? Could you ask someone on the school management how it was decided to have unisex toilets - did they do an impact assessment to ensure no-one’s needs were being overlooked? Did they consult with the student and parent community?

Also is there another toilet block for girls who’d prefer not to share with boys for cultural or personal reasons?

Original poster
WoofWoofMooWoof · 06/07/2019 14:32

As for gender identity stuff - I think if you have a penis you go to one room, if you don’t you go to another.

I kinda agree with this. It was a quite akward for my 10-year old DD to go into a toilet cubicle directly opposite an adult man going into one. And then to stand face to face with him while they were washing their hands.

@FamilyOfAliens - it is a huge school - more than 2,000 pupils. I've not seen the whole school, but the toilets I did see were all unisex.

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 06/07/2019 14:35

All unisex? So the girls who don’t want to share for personal or cultural reasons are ignored?

That’s shocking but I know not uncommon these days.

Doormat247 · 06/07/2019 14:36

This is an awful idea. My workplace is putting in these types of toilets and I think it will be stressful - I know as a child I would have completely avoided going to them at all.
Privacy is always required, especially for transitional ages. Plus some kids would find it funny to try to open the doors or look under/over them if they can.
I'm surprised they haven't already had complaints.

Ledehe · 06/07/2019 14:40

@Thebig3 have you ever had an unexpected or heavy period? Got blood on your hands changing a tampon?

Can you imagine being 12 years old and having to wash period blood from your hands in a room full of 17/18 year old men. This is probably one of the smaller issues with unisex toilets

Babdoc · 06/07/2019 14:44

The layout you describe is illegal in a school, OP. For unisex toilets to comply with the law, the washbasin must be inside the lockable cubicle, not in a communal area, and the door must reach floor to ceiling with no gaps either above or below.
There is a statutory requirement for children above a certain age (it’s either 8 or 10, I can’t recall, but I’m sure there will be lawyers on MN familiar with the relevant legislation under the Equality Act) to have separate toilet facilities by sex.

Have a look on the feminism board - there have been endless discussions about this, due to transgender activists trying to push self ID so that any male sex offender can access women’s toilets just by falsely claiming to be trans.

DuploTower · 06/07/2019 14:45

Unisex changing rooms at the pool were a magnet for sexual activity (consensual or otherwise). And I remember corridor gropings at high school. Anyone who thinks that it's a good idea to have mixed sex toilets needs their head examined.

raisinsraisinsraisins · 06/07/2019 14:46

Could be embarrassing for a girl if the toilet is quiet and a boy in there would then hear the rustle of sanitary towel wrappers.

Teenage boys can often comment and tease girls about periods - when I was a student my male housemate used to say he could smell when a girl had her period!

If I was a young girl and had to deal with my period at school I

raisinsraisinsraisins · 06/07/2019 14:48

...would be very upset to have to deal with it in a unisex toilet, especially when struggling with tampons etc.

Original poster
WoofWoofMooWoof · 06/07/2019 15:08

The toilets I visited were in and around the Humanities block, so perhaps they have separate toilets in different parts of the school - I assume being Humanities they practice more tolerance. Still, all the Y7s will be in this block for the first three weeks before venturing out into the whole school, and they still have to share toilets with the boys for this period.

OP posts:
cardibach · 06/07/2019 15:19

Not sure what tolerance has to do with it to be honest. Or why you think humanities would have more of it. They’re just subjects...

meuh · 06/07/2019 15:23

@Babdoc is it really against the law? Dd's primary school has unisex toilets. They do have floor to ceiling doors but the sinks are communal, not within the cubicles. She liked them when they were first put in but is less impressed now she's started her periods and would prefer more privacy and a girls-only space.

MIdgebabe · 06/07/2019 15:23

Teenage boys and tolerance ?! ANy girl with blood on her hands, and any girls whose wrapping rustles will be subject to no end of bullying

skybluee · 06/07/2019 15:25

I would hate this. Used to have fun talking with friends in the loos, was part of growing up.

Also what do you do if you use a mooncup?

Are the toilets completely enclosed from floor to ceiling with no gaps? I still wouldn't like it tbh. What if you want to do make-up hair etc in the mirrors... would just be uncomfortable.

MIdgebabe · 06/07/2019 15:30

THE implications here
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachment_data/file/410294/Advice_on_standards_for_school_premises.pdf
The sex ( not gender ) of pupils must be considred

It implies but does not state that where unisex is provided, the sink should be inside the single occupant area

LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 06/07/2019 15:33

Girls will stop drinking during the day to avoid using the loos. They won’t want to share with boys - gods sake remember when you were at school! The loos were where girls could go to get away from the creepy boys, catcalling, comments about their boobs/bums/sex life/periods.

Why would they do this? Why change the status quo? I hope the teachers also have mixed loos.

Noroof · 06/07/2019 15:34

Is it open plan ie...onto the corridors or an a enclosed room? My school has open plan...kids are safer from bullying etc. The doors go right down to the floor and with all the other school noise you can't hear anything. My school has 1600 kids and I've never heard any complaints. They even have Dyson handriers which is a luxury sadly lacking in the staff toilets.

Original poster
WoofWoofMooWoof · 06/07/2019 15:40

There is a door to the girls' area and a door to the boys' area from the corridor. Inside there is a row of cubicles enclosed floor to ceiling on both sides of the room. In the middle is a double row of was basins with their backs to each other - one row on the boy side and one on the girl side. No other partition. You can have a face to face conversation with a boy while washing your hands, and can clearly see the opposite row of toilets and who comes in and out. Very quiet inside so the boys would definitely hear sanitary towel wrappers Sad.

OP posts:
LordProfFekkoThePenguinPhD · 06/07/2019 15:49

And girls can hear the boys hanging around and deliberately talking about sex, the tits on Mary on 4F, how Miss Brown the science teacher has given John a blow job... because teen boys can be so caring and responsible huh? Well they were little shits when I was at school. And yes the girls could be equally unpleasant but at least in the loos you only had half the jackass population of the the school the cope with in the girls loo.

Lolwhat · 06/07/2019 15:57

I had mixed toilets at school. Besides one of the boys doing a shit in the middle of the floor it wasn’t an issue at all

Thrupennybrit · 06/07/2019 16:01

How does this help transkids? They still have to pick a door marked boys or girls. And the kids on both sides get no privacy from the other sex. Worst of all worlds.

meuh · 06/07/2019 17:09

I don't think it's all about trans kids. Open plan toilets are supposed to reduce bullying and loitering.

FamilyOfAliens · 06/07/2019 17:39

I had mixed toilets at school. Besides one of the boys doing a shit in the middle of the floor it wasn’t an issue at all

Bully for you. However this thread is about people who do have an issue with it.