Worried about dd's friend

[hipslikecinderella]

I'm quite concerned for a girl we have known for a while, she and dd get on, but don't go to each others houses etc.
I was chaperone at a dance show and this little girl was under my care. Firstly she was really hard to manage, didn't listen, messed about and argued with all the other girls. Generally quite annoying.
Then after she had done her dance she was very uncharacteristically upset as she had made a mistake. I explained that I was sure the audience wouldn't have noticed and that everyone probably made at least one mistake. She was then saying she hated herself and put her bag strap around her neck and was trying to strangle herself. She was saying her mum would be cross.
Obviously very concerning.
I mentioned to her mum how upset she was, but didn't elaborate on he bag strap. Mum just said - yes she is hard on herself.
She is 7. Another thing, she really ponged of BO. Poor girl. But I associate that smell with puberty and she cant have that yet?
Does this all sound concerning or is none of my b?

I mentioned to her mum how upset she was, but didn't elaborate on he bag strap

Why on earth not??

But I associate that smell with puberty and she cant have that

Unlikely but not impossible. Is she heavy?

Does this all sound concerning or is none of my b?

Are the girls in a dance class together? Or school? Can you raise the self-harm with a teacher?

Trying to strangle herself is a severe cause for concern. Can you bring it up with the dance teacher? It's obviously not something you want to expose your own child to either.

Good question - why didn't I mention it. Hugely awkward mainly. There was another mum there too who we both know and it just didn't seem appropriate.

She is not heavy, the opposite. She is mixed race, and I have no idea whether this impacts at all on rates of puberty onset.

The girls has since left the dance school - the teachers were fed up with her being rude to the staff, calling them stupid etc.

She isn't at dd's school, although her brother is at my ds's school. All privately educated and all so 'naice'. It was also a good few months ago, so not sure if I should raise it at this later stage.....

Contact social services and pass this information to them. This is a really serious red flag and you need to act on it to safeguard this 7 year old girl. You can speak to them anonymously but they or the school may already be aware of other issues and you will never forgive yourself if this child comes to harm and you didn’t act

Yes I think I might do. Although I have a pal who is a social worker and heard some very extreme examples where the policy is still to keep the family together - even with evidence of much wrongdoing.
So I wouldn't anticipate much response. But still I think I should act.

The action may be to involve the CAMS team or put some pastoral care in place for the child - breaking up the family is obviously a last resort but there are lots of other things that social care and the school could do to safeguard this child. You have information that will form an important part of an assessment of steps that those in a position to help her can take to safeguard , support and protect her. I think this is an easy dilemma and it’s obvious you need to share this information with social care so then can assess her and take steps to help her as soon as possible