To cut them off

[busymum303]

So. Long story, have 2 older sisters, haven't ever been close to them as there is a big gap in age, but recently things have detoriated further

One of them didn't come to my wedding, didn't explain to me why or have any valid reason not to, just didn't turn up. She's been very on and off with me for a long time and upsets me a lot how she treats me..have never done anything wrong or even had an argument with her to explain her behaviour

The other is a very negative person, never has anything nice to say, constantly belittles me, makes fun of me, judges me and acts as though she is better than everyone else.. however she has helped me out a lot financially which I'm very very grateful for, has also had my kids a lot too if I've ever needed a sitter. So had a falling out over something so silly, was on holiday and she had my oldest child, DD called me in a panic as her lips and face was all swollen (allergic reaction of some kind) so obviously I called my sister and told her to get her to a hospital to get checked out. She didn't do this, took her to a chemist instead, and then afterwards had a massive go at me for "not trusting her judgement" this was 3 months ago and she still hasn't spoke to me since and when I brought it up she has twisted it round onto how I apparently spoke to her.. she's a very controlling person and I think she just didn't like that I was telling her what to do with my DD, I'm aware I'm rambling a bit but I suppose I just need others to make me feel less guilty about cutting them both off, feel like cos of everything she's done for me I've kinda just got to put up with it..and shouldn't have to

Will add, mum and dad are very on the fence and won't ever take sides or get involved so also don't want to make things awkward for them by not talking to sisters again..

If you're not close, why are you bothered about sis 1 not going to youo your wedding anyway?
I'd cut em off though cos that's what you want to hear.

All I'm trying to do is get the full picture out there, if at that point people still think I shouldn't cut them off then that's fine I respect that, probably should have put more details in the OP

RedDogsBeg
Think OP just wants people to agree with her and not give opinions. So again not sure why OP is asking

busymum303 Posters have said that they don't think you should cut your second sister off and you do not respect their opinions. You are just adding more and more in order to justify your decision and get those posters round to your way of thinking.

Just cut her off as you so obviously want to, OP, but remember this:

I have no support with my children, no other family members take the kids so a case of her being the only available option for my children,

and don't cry and bleat that you are on your own with regards to childcare. Perhaps your friends who are supporting your decision might like to step into the breach?

Tp93 Agree.

Are you being given any choice in this? From what I see Sister 1 has cut you off and now Sister 2 is doing the same. Now you want to join in with the negativity and find your own ladder to climb up. Life must be a joy for your parents & the rest of your family.

Your friends have told you these are negative relationships and you should end them. They will be seeing things from your perspective and they are not objective.

Your parents are not taking sides. From that I would conclude they see right and wrong equally on both sides and/or think it futile to interfere. In order words you are all difficult and none of you will climb down your respective ladders.

No argument or falling out is as one sided as you make out. Your responses are defensive and you certainly have an attitude towards your sisters. I expect they are the same.

Ok thanks guys for all your help :) appreciate your views

Older sisters are annoying, especially when there is a big age difference. At least that is my experience. Mine always knows best and treats me as if I were a child, and I'm nearly seventy. My best friend has a similar problem with her older sister. But that's families for you, they also have qualities and come up trumps in other things.

Maybe you could discretely go low contact with them both if they are affecting you so much, but do you really have to be so radical?

Your child was having a severe allergic reaction and your sister SHOULD'VE taken him to the hospital especially as you told her to. Your child was frightened enough to tell you so. Who cares if she's helped you out before she isn't a medical professional is she???!!!! If you reached out and she's being bitchy? That's on her

Honestly I wouldn't cut sister no 2 out based on what you've told us so far. Obviously we only have that and not any further story, but that would be my answer based on what you've said...sounds like you've both been upset by the other. If the basic relationship is worth it, I'd try and sort it out. Only you know that.

I'm not sure why people have to "officially" go NC? The one sister doesn't bother with you, and the other isn't speaking to you? Would they even notice if you did go NC?

Thanks ekgems, glad someone agrees. Anything could have happened and just because it didn't doesn't mean she was right, my wishes as DC mother should have been respected regardless of what her non professional opinion was. Not gonna say I was totally innocent cos I probably did panic a bit, maybe unnecessarily, but my is my child so have every right to worry.. point is I reached out to her regardless of my issue with how she dealt with it and she threw it in my face..

Thanks nauti maybe just feeing like it's not worth trying to fix right now as we are both still angry