I’ve committed a MN crime (actually 3 or 4)

[EltonHoratio]

I’ve just stumbled across a MN crime I wasn’t aware of. I’ve recently name changed but have been active on the site for a couple of years.

I’ve “stalked” someone on Facebook! To put into context I have had a look at someone’s FB profile, well the bits they choose to be public. I haven’t camped outside her house and bombarded her with texts, emails, phone calls or any other of the truly horrifying acts of stalking. Before I get shot, real stalking is horrible, I do not condone it in any way.

Does anyone else check people out on facebook or am I a truly bad person for doing so?

Other MN crimes I’m guilty of include occasionally arguing with my husband, not spending every penny of my earnings on my step children and not thinking teachers are all that hard done by. AIBU? Anyone else guilty of MN crimes?

Last time I left my washing out all night the spiders were still rubbing their willies on it when I took it in. I evicted five spiders from that particular load of laundry.

It has not put me off.

I let my extended family see my dc a few hours after birth (born at 2am, visiting at 10am) and was glad to see them.

I don't really like zoflora

I have Elton. I have observed public parenting and failed to hold the guilty parties in contempt. I have experienced my doorbell being rung after 9pm and failed to cower in fear. I have seen a strange car parked outside my home and failed to log it with 101. I have witnessed a spider in my bedroom and failed to burn my house down. I have embarrassed myself and failed to emigrate. I am a disgrace to myself and everyone who loves me

@laudersyme and long may you continue to commit such crimes against humanity.

Toilet brushes - tick
Answer the door day or night - tick
Unannounced callers invited in - tick
Answer the telephone without checking the display (cannot read without glasses - tick
Share towels with other family members
Quite like the ham that comes in square slices.

The list just goes on here..

I always check out people's Facebook's secretly.
I haven't hung washing out for years. It goes in my dryer and comes out crease free and smelling fabulous. Line dried clothes don't smell fresh. They smell of nothing.

I am guilty of having faux handsoap [posh stuff to put out in downstairs loo] for visitors. Ditto a fruit bowl with faux pineapple .I give the remains of the roast chicken to the animals instead of making it last the week and allow my laundry to be darked on BUT I don't have a penis beaker or a pooh knife. These are all mumsnet sins of the highest order I understand.
I am still breathing and above ground despite the transgressions so try not to worry OP.

I'm a heathen.

I've left laundry out overnight
I'm fat
My son is a picky eater
He also has a dummy
I smoke (outside)
I've checked out people on Facebook and gone back to check again
I was an unmarried mother
I used to a bottle of wine some nights

I have three toilets and three toilet brushes. I am shameless...

Line dried clothes don't smell fresh. They smell of nothing.

Heathen!

Oh and I have a toilet brush although I hate it and never use it so maybe I've redeemed myself?

I have just happily pegged my washing out using mismatched pegs and "daisy chaining" them along the line to use less pegs. Worse, it's actually mostly DS1's laundry and he is an adult.

I also Facebook stalk, I own loo brushes and can't make a chicken last more than two meals

I personally love a good Facebook stalk. Whenever anyone new starts at our work we find out their name and have a good nosey!

Too much time on your hands SoupDragon and didn't you read any parenting books? What a poor DH your ds will make

He will make a fine DH because he will give his wife the perfect MIL.

😂

(He does all his own laundry when at uni so he is actually capable of doing it but it's no hassle to shove it on when I don't have a full load)

My DH was a bit of a dick about something recently. In an ongoing way, not as a one off. Believe it or not I didn’t LTB! Also! I...

Leave washing out all night.
Have loo brush (but don’t put it in the dishwasher).
Have never accused anyone of being a narcissist.
Hate girls being given boys’ names.
Didn’t find Victoria Wood remotely funny.
Didn’t rescue my dog - I bought him as a puppy from a breeder and spent a lot of money on him.
Let my cat go out and wander freely.

Yep, toilet brush here, currently lying on my bed in my ‘outdoor’ clothes, would very much like my washing darked on by bats and have no issue with the odd spider willy on it either. Often ‘stalk’ my ex-boss on Facebook to see how many times she has been made redundant now currently three. She was described to me as having poison running through her veins rather than blood so do privately snigger.

I love "Blurred Lines" (the song ). Kill me now

I look at people on FB, I don't wear shoes in the house, I don't always answer the door and don't accept uninvited guests, I have toilet brushes (plural!), I have no children, I don't like people using my toilet, I rarely take in parcels for neighbours, and not only do I vote Conservative but I actually (weirdly) fancy Theresa May! (And me and DDog can make a chicken last multiple meals, mainly because I get bored of it and she gets the bulk of it)

Washing out at night
Toilet brush
Don't like Zoflora
Don't think you should pick up dog shit on uncultivated land
Put tea in my kids' bottles when they were babies
Don't feel the need to publicly announce I'm not a racist every week
Don't think snapped and farted or penis beaker are funny

I don't always answer the door

I would have thought answering the door was the mumsnet crime, as it's only on here that I've come across people neurotic enough not to answer it.

Blurred lines is a cracking tune 70 to be fair. I know the lyrics are supposed to be bad but I can't understand most of them..
I live in a council house ( or a "social house) as they call it on here, and I'm not prostrating myself in gratitude every day.

I have a designer toilet brush.
I leave washing out to be darked on.
I'm a bit fat.
My DD (11) has a mobile phone.
We always have pudding on Saturday and Sunday.
I bought name tape to label DD's uniform rather than using a Sharpie.

Yes op.....I had my eyebrows done and there are 3 pages on my thread of women slagging off another woman, funny really. This is a strange place sometimes. Waiting for someone to pop along now and say my eyebrows are strange!

i commit these mn crimes daily but I find it's the people that live in the real world are the perpetrators.