To think a lot of people are really bad at empathising with others situations?

[jennymanara]

I know so many people, and see it on here as well, who are really bad at understanding or empathising with others situations if they have no personal experience of it. I think there are lots of people who even when they have it explained to them what that person is experiencing, seem incapable of understanding it.
So AIBU to think a lot of people, maybe even most, have very poor empathy skills?

I either have way too much and get really upset or I'm an insensitive douche. I only got soo much in me.

It's a usual trope that someone who has been through similar experience can understand /empathise.... But this assumes that the person can a) recall what it's like (hindsight /memory bias) and b) actually experienced the emotions that are similar to yours...

I believe you CAN empathise without directly experiencing ... But it does often involve psychological effort!
Many people either aren't interested in empathising.

There is also faux empathy / sympathy.... (hello anyone who scores highly on Psychopathy check list )

I only got soo much in me Yes - we can get compassion fatigue. Sometimes it is overwhelming when all around is harrowing stuff and we are so limited to help- it can make you feel a bit helpless at times.

I agree re, Sympathy vs Empathy. I've often felt patronised by people who've said they empathise with me, when they absolutely couldn't.

The reason why 'active listening' is taught as part of some jobs and on a Counselling Course is because we don't fully listen.

We hear what we want to and this is often controlled by bias.

But aside from that there are some shockingly cold people about, who just don't care about other people.

But aside from that there are some shockingly cold people about, who just don't care about other people. And there are others who care, but genuinely find it hard to empathise if it's outside their own experience. And they are often condemned for this as bad people.