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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not plan anything for my partners 40th

8 replies

stellarfox · 06/07/2019 09:11

It’s my partner’s 40th in around a month when our baby will be 10 weeks old. She’s sleeping a max of 2 hours in her cot a night and the rest of the time in our arms so we’re having to take shifts holding her. We hadn’t planned anything in advance for my partners birthday as we didn’t know what life would be like with a newborn. He has mentioned organising a night away with some of his friends to celebrate his birthday but he doesn’t seem to have sorted anything. I was looking at possibly hiring a nice Airbnb for a weekend either just us or with some of his friends but we’re currently sleeping in separate bedrooms because of the sleep shifts, were sleep deprived and we haven’t done a long drive/trip away with the baby yet. I feel like we should do something for his birthday as it’s a big one but I don’t know if it’s too much. Would it be unreasonable of me not to plan anything? I wish it was next year instead!

OP posts:
HeddaGarbled · 06/07/2019 09:12

Ask him what he wants to do.

Theworldcouldbemymollusc · 06/07/2019 09:15

I think you will regret not marking it at all. Could you hire a beach hut? Invite friends to you for champagne? Just any kind of small celebration? If not an m and s meal for too with champagne and an early night.

Whoops75 · 06/07/2019 09:15

YANBU

The timing isn’t right
Get a take away and stay in.

altiara · 06/07/2019 09:16

Could you invite friends to go out for a nice pub lunch and some drinks, take a few balloons and a cake, then you can push baby round in the pram if needed. Baby will have completely changed by 10 weeks as well.

CherryPavlova · 06/07/2019 09:26

Ask him what he wants but suggest he organises his own event?

Sn0tnose · 06/07/2019 09:28

Talk to him about it and ask him what his expectations are.

He might be feeling exactly the same as you, in which case you can relax. Or, he might be expecting all bells and whistles, resulting in hurt feelings all round if nothing happens. It’ll save an awful lot of problems in the long run.

stellarfox · 06/07/2019 09:37

I have asked him a few times and he always says he doesn’t want a party or he’s too busy to talk about it. He’s had a few ideas about going to Amsterdam or another night out. His closest friends live a few hours away hence I was thinking of renting somewhere for the weekend as it’s harder for them to pop by or meet up for a lunch! I’ll try and pin him down this evening exactly what he wants

OP posts:
changechange · 06/07/2019 09:41

I'm the one turning 40, I've asked for it to be out on hold and I'll be celebrating 40+1 next year instead

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