Commenting on bump... Am I just being moody?

[TheLetterOfTheLawTheLetter]

I feel exhausted from not sleeping well for a few days, with a very wired toddler.

I'm a bit paranoid about my 19 week bump being bigger this time round. I have perspective... It is what it is... But still, its on my mind a lot.

My lovely well-meaning dad said yesterday, having seen bump for first time.. "ooh your bump looks funny". I think he meant it as in, its funny to see you with a bump again. They're very excited and he had gotten for saying slightly silly things. But I was tired, just wanted to settle down after getting ds1 down to sleep, and more than that wanted the freedom to walk around home without feeling like anyone, family or otherwise, were sizing up my body. I can almost feel the eyes on me! I've always been a bit protective about things like that, I think sleep deprivation and hormones are making it worse. I did explain to him how I was feeling big and didn't want to discuss size. This morning he said "oh your bump is smaller now you're standing up".

Sigh. I know he means well but honestly, why does pregnancy mean that your body shape is suddenly OK to discuss? I feel like I'm being watched!

I'm being unreasonable aren't I....

Why does it matter how big your bump is? Do you have issues with your size/shape generally? You're pregnant, you are going to have a bump.. I'm pregnant with my 2nd and the bump appeared earlier due to everything being already stretched I guess. The size of it, well who gives a shit!

Yes.
All I ever read on here is complaining. Seems people can't win with whatever compliment they pay/discussion they try and make/in fact anything around a pregnant woman

Yes, YABU. But you also sound exhausted and like you need to go hide in a hole with a box set and some quiet after a long bath with no child minding responsibilities the next morning. 👍

I'm with you op. At no other time is it ok to comment on someone's body size/shape so why is it ok when you're pregnant.

I get it. I’ve felt bigger all along this time (I’m only 5’1) and people seem to have commented more this time too.

I think it’s easier post 24 weeks when it really is a bump and then, well, you just have to give in to it!!

I opened the door to a neighbour I barely know who gasped “gosh you really ARE pregnant, look at the size of you” a couple of weeks ago. I could have punched her but I just smiled and said yes because people are thoughtless and just open their mouths and let their brain spill out. What can you do?

It’s made me very careful about what I say to other people about their bumps, if I comment at all, but unfortunately you can’t control other people.

Just try to relax and enjoy!!

I'm totally with you in OP. In no other life situation would it be acceptable to greet people with a comment on their size. I don't care if you're pregnant or not, no one should feel they have the right to do it!

I didn't really appreciate it before I was pregnant but I get it now. This is my second pregnancy and I have extra fluid (which potentially is an indication of a health problem with the baby) and every time someone hears I still have 2 months to go they exclaim some shocked remark, a gasp, oh dear etc. Not only am I already feeling shit about it, worried and extremely uncomfortable I also now get instant rage!

Try and let it all go over your head OP!

No you are not being unreasonable, those moaning about how people can't take a compliment should maybe take the hint and not say anything at all! I'm pregnant with my first and it seems a free for all for comments on my body and unsolicited advice. Having said that I'd cut your dad some slack, he doesn't mean to be hurtful/annoying but you are not unreasonable for feeling irritated.

@IceCreamSoda99 I don't say anything actually, however the OP is moaning about her well meaning, excited Dad ffs. Not his problem she has feeling low about it. People are so precious about everything

@Neron you can still be irritated by family even if they are family, in fact it can be more upsetting from them as you would hope they would know better than to comment on your size and be able to read your emotions better. People first told me I wasn't showing at all which worried me, now they are saying I'm bigger than they expected, it maybe irrational for me to worry/care but it doesn't mean I don't feel it.

Yes it's not something I ever minded

Yanbu. I hate when people comment on my bump too. I've had comments like "Oh you look big" thanks 🤨 and mil told me recently "look at you now you have the pregnancy waddle" cool now i need to focus on not looking like a penguin.
All well meaning obviously but think hormones are playing with us we just think everyone is being rude but they are just trying to start an convo or be nice.

Oh gosh... Such a delicate thing to manage.

I remember when a close work colleague was pregnant, she would regularly comment on how big she felt and she would like it if I replied by reassuring her she wasn't that big and she definitely just looks a bit pregnant in the tummy and that's all.

Around the same time a pregnant neighbour I didn't know well popped by and commented on how big she herself was, so I automatically replied "oh no, not at all!" ... And her face dropped! I felt awful.

I absolutely don't reply to any pregnant women's comments about themselves now unless I know what direction they want me to go in!! And id never comment without being asked unless we were super close. YANBU, OP.

YANBU... 'We' do seem to become public property when pregnant... with a complete free-for-all on comments/'helpful' advice and bump-touching... not sure it'll ever change tho!

Boomy - i think you've got it right! Say NOTHING in either 'direction' till you know which way the pregnant person is going!

YABU ... too sensitive here.

Mother87 it was a lesson learned!!