To those with a difficult baby dad/ex

[username8808]

It may sound stupid but - how do you cope?
I feel like some days my life gets taken over by him being difficult or nasty.
And even when I stand up for myself, I'm just left with this horrible feeling because of the ongoing conflict and manipulative messages.

How do you not give much energy to it and get on with your life?

Can anyone help?

You eventually learn not to care...you eventually let go and learn not to let it effect you, to not reply to every message...he will hate it at first but by then it won't bother you

I struggled with my ex when we went our separate ways 7 years ago. He used to come round and put me down, be little me tell me I was a bad parent but he still had them back on time every week!

I only communicated with him about the children, as soon as he got nasty I didn’t reply to messages or if he was at the door I’d cut him off and say alright then thanks for bringing them back see you in a week shut the door and cry! All I can say is don’t rise to him it’s very hard I know. I still have him being a pain 7 years on. I just tell myself don’t argue with him, think of the kids. My mum said when you know he’s dropping off or collecting make sure you look your best be pleasant don’t start anything and come across as confident and you don’t care what he says. When that door is shut that’s when you cry and feel sorry for yourself. I used to put going out shoes by the door when I knew he was coming so he thought I was having the time of my life on my own - I wasn’t I spent my Saturday nights cleaning the house and ironing! He didn’t know that tho. It’s hard because you want the kids to see you getting on, there have been the odd times when I have moaned about him in front of them then I’ve apologised and said I’m just annoyed. But on the whole no matter what he does or says that pisses me off I say positive things about him as I knew if he knew I was being positive that would annoy him more and he’s have nothing to beat me with a such. For example I asked him to help out with the kids clubs (he pays £75 a month for each child 2 of them), he earns a good wage but insists he is piss poor but has had a full sleeve tattoo with their names DOB and times they were born - I may have accidentally got a time wrong for one of them so his clock on his tattoo is wrong! But when they told me about it I was wowzer that sound pretty amazing, dad must be brave tattoos hurt and just bugged him up about it. The same about his girlfriend can’t stand the troll but I always say how nice she is to get them gifts or look after them, making their lunches. And I remind them to be polite around her just so they can’t have anything to push back at me. It will get easier, the more you ignore him he will realise your not biting, you just have to bide your time. Good luck x