To hate those “discover the secrets to making a man fall in love with you” type books?

[DidItAgainOops]

I find them incredibly manipulative and actually the very opposite of creating a healthy relationship.

Yes, they might work in the short term. But any relationship based on game playing versus authenticity is doomed, no?

Also, I’d find it difficult to be interested in any man dim enough to fall for a “formula”.

And it smacks of needing a man in residence to justify your existence, open jam jars or get rid of spiders.

I always think Barbara Cartland type of stuff when I see that kind of thing.
Laying on a chaise lounge, dressed in silk/taffeta/ chiffon while murmuring ' Cuthbert, how simply delightful to see you again' as I flutter my eyelashes coyly.
The reality is, I would probably be sat on my sofa in Primark leggings, and a grubby top shouting ' bloody hell, I thought you'd gone all the way to the brewery for that beer Dave, did you remember my fags?
😂

Also, I’d find it difficult to be interested in any man dim enough to fall for a “formula”.

Quite!

I did used to read them years ago when I was still figuring out men and relationships. Having gone to an all girls school, I’d had limited experience with the opposite sex!

And I did actually take them seriously at the time because the advice seemed to work....up to a point. The point where I burst and had on a full meltdown much to the shock of my then boyfriend!

We soon realised how incompatible we really were because I’d been pretending to be someone I wasn’t the entire time. According to these books, the way to a man’s heart meant contorting myself to suit his needs. Ie that it’s the woman’s job to behave in a way that makes her the most desirable in a man’s eyes. I’m looking at you John Gray.

Anyway coming back to why I thought of it a hundred years later, I was sent some spam mail with the subject heading “The secret psychology that makes him fall for you” or something like that which took me right back to these days.

However I reckon there are a disturbing number of young women who, like me, sadly believe this misogynistic shit.

And as we see far too regularly on these pages, far far too many men who believe it too.
And the perpetuation of these messages keeps the shit show going
YANBU