AIBU to wish my husband would piss off and leave me alone?

[justleavemealoneahh]

I am starting to really get pissed off with him. I know everyone will probably say why am I with him, it's because he is a great dad, he helps and contributes to the household chores but he does things and nags at me it really annoys me! He is starting to really get on my nerves financially as well. For example, he will moan about how I wash up because I can't do it properly, he tells what I should and shouldn't wear on special occasions or he will ask me why am I not wearing my hair like x or y today. If I am hanging the washing somewhere, he complains and asks why am I doing it like that when it's logical to do it like this. When I do something like housework, he will go over it all over again like I haven't done it properly (I always do it thoroughly). If I buy something, he complains and asks why have I bought it when I've already got one. If I go slightly over budget for grocery, he complains and every single day always becomes a financial matter and quite frankly I am so fed up of hearing it! He tells me what to do (I never ever do it. I always say what gives him the right to tell me what I can and cannot do? Don't you dare tell me what to do). He hates this because I suppose he thinks he can control me when he knows I don't tolerate it. I told him today that I'm beginning to get really pissed off with him and he tells me that I am nasty and that I treat him like shit? Honestly I just really don't get it sometimes! I know this is a major rant but honestly I am really starting to lose my temper over it should I just rise above it?

Ltb

What first drew you to him... Tell us about the courtship.

let him take over the shopping and the housework, since he is so clear on how it should all be done.

Is this a new thing?

Is there another woman.(colleague/friend) he admires, and who he compares you to maybe?

Or is he just being an arse?

This sort of thing would really bother me!

but he does things and nags at me it really annoys me

There’s legit nothing worse than a nag tbf

He’s a controlling twat.
Red flag signs will have been there before perhaps you just didn’t see them.
Nasty little man.

Nope.nada.never.ever. I'd tell him the only one being treated like shit is you,OP! Tell him women can now vote and drive and slavery is now outlawed. What a jerk!

Nope. Definitely nbu.

Agree with Swell. Tell us about when you first started dating. When did he change and why? I also agree with poster that said leave him to the chores. Is he actually any good at them? I personally would only pretend to tidy up and let him do it for real when he goes over it.

I hate to say this, but if he is doing this in front of the children then he isn't a "great" dad.

I would also worry that once the children got older her would start behaving like this with them too.

Not sure what to suggest. Couples counseling maybe?

He sounds like my Ex. If I was going out (a very rare occasion) without him, he could ask why I wasn't taking the other car. He would tell me to wear my coat! He would tell me I wasn't painting the wall properly. The list is endless. It just wears you down.

I love him to bits. He's a legend and otherwise fun. I just couldn't live with that every single day.

Hi OP

Constant criticism is a form of abuse (not my opinion - look at womens aid etc). Also saying you're nasty when you get upset by it is turning it all around on you as well. YANBU to wish he would piss off. Also as others have said if he does this in front of your kids he is teaching them that you never know best, that you are not to be respected etc...not a great dad

he will moan about how I wash up because I can't do it properly, he tells what I should and shouldn't wear on special occasions or he will ask me why am I not wearing my hair like x or y today

This is not okay.
These things are present in normal healthy relationships.

I guarantee he is doing this in front of the kids so...
No. he is not a great dad.

He sounds pretty awful! Have you tried telling him how petty, picky and generally unreasonable he is and how you feel about it? Not having a row, just telling him in a steely, calm voice, slowly and clearly. Then impose sanctions and make some serious threats.

The useful phrase "Do it your fucking self then" stops a lot of this nonsense.

Why does he feel the need to micro manage you?

Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

Very controlling
Ltb

God my ex was like that!

He's a prick

What the fuck do you see in him ?

Only rise above it......if you stand another 30yrs of the same!
Time for a chat, I think!

Serious talk with him needed. Why does he demean everything you do by re-doing it and tell you it’s not good enough?

I'd be going on strike. In another county.

My XH was like this. It was a relief when he moved out.

Don't rise above it. Tell him he's got no right to tell you what to do, and what not to do. It's controlling, coercive behaviour and it's actually illegal.