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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want the window closed in this heat !

49 replies

vszion · 05/07/2019 19:32

Ok so a bit of background info - I am 14 weeks pregnant and i suffer terribly with hayfever.
Nothing works for me except the steroid jab which i cannot currently have due to being pregnant.

My partner is arguing with me because I want the windows closed and saying I am selfish because he feels like he cant breath with no fresh air, I am well aware of how hot it is and i am also uncomfortable but I do have a fan on in every room ( which he is also complaining about because of the use of electric all day)
I have explained to him that i am also hot and i know it isnt nice but he knows how bad i get if the windows have been open especially in the night time, I am up all night in such discomfort and then the next day because i am tired as well as uncomfortable because of hayfever it just makes me feel rubbish all day.
I spoke to my friend and she thinks i am being unfair because she says she also feels like she cant breath and she feels claustrophobic if the windows aren't open so she has me second guessing myself.

I am aware I am hormonal and very emotional right now but i honestly just feel like he is being a pr* about it and I am contemplating telling him to go and stay somewhere else until hayfever season is over .

Am I really being unfair ?

OP posts:

BeanTownNancy · 05/07/2019 20:36

Can you afford to buy an air conditioner?

You need to be comfortable - my husband and I had the same difference of preference when I was pregnant and couldn't take antihistamine, but my husband isn't a knob so he sucked it up because he didn't want me to suffer.

Also, if he's complaining about an extra (being generous) £5 a month off electricity, he's in for a nasty shock once the baby comes...

Original poster

vszion · 05/07/2019 20:37

my friend said it in front of him about how i am being unfair and he is completely playing on that right now so i am looking forward to telling him what you guys say.

thanks all

OP posts:

Original poster

vszion · 05/07/2019 20:38

I am also going to look into an air conditioning unit as i didnt even think about that.

OP posts:

Aquilla · 05/07/2019 20:42

Yes, windows and curtains shut on sunny side of house then as the sun moves off open windows.

pinksquash13 · 05/07/2019 20:50

I also have the same argument with my husband. I suffer from hayfever and agree the nights with windows open are awful. I wake with itchy roof of mouth and nostrils. Nothing can soothe it. So so awful. We have compromised on fans. Husband also sleeps with an ice block wrapped in a tea towel - surprisingly helpful. I can't even have windows open in other rooms or even locked open. When you wake up with windows open make sure he wakes up too

cherryblossomgin · 05/07/2019 20:52

YANBU tell him to get a tray of ice and put it infront of the fan. DH needs room a certain way for his allergies. He has to have doors open wide to let the air circulate.

Original poster

vszion · 05/07/2019 20:54

@pinksquash13 To make it worse the one night i was having a some what comfortable sleep because he was away for work my son woke up ill at 1am and stayed up until 5 am so i think at this point I am just over tired aswell which i read makes hayfever worse so its a vicious cycle.
I dread this time of year so much.

OP posts:

TheCanyon · 05/07/2019 21:17

I never open my windows on hot daysor ever really unless I've cleaned the carpets in fact I close the curtains with the sun direction.

I like being cosy to sleep, however twice in the last two weeks when its been hot and we've opened the bedroom windows I've woken up and my eyeballs burned like fuck and the cunting flies... just no.

Tell him he can go a nice cool walk/take an ice bath.

pinksquash13 · 05/07/2019 21:59

@vszion really feel for you!! Hopefully it's over soon. I can never remember when mine ends but I think it's before August

Gwenhwyfar · 05/07/2019 22:05

What heat?

GreenTulips · 05/07/2019 22:06

Try an air purifier

Original poster

vszion · 05/07/2019 22:07

@pinksquash13 mine normally ends on the 1st of July so I don't know what's gone wrong this year I think I'll be suffering longer than I expected

OP posts:

Mrsfs · 05/07/2019 22:13

I sympathise with him. If my husband closes the window, I have an awful night where I struggle to breath and my throat feels like it is burning. I have my windows open all year round.

I can also see your issue though but for me, it would have to be separate sleeping arrangements.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 05/07/2019 22:20

He'll have to sleep on the sofa then. I'm sure he can make it more comfortable with blankets and pillows.

Lllot5 · 05/07/2019 22:21

I’ve just had to close my bedroom window, next door neighbour is in her garden smoking.
Got the door open and window on the landing open.

BarbedBloom · 05/07/2019 22:22

I don't open windows during the day, but I would struggle if I couldn't open windows when it was cooler, especially if you wanted them closed completely for three weeks.

As you don't have a spare room, I don't know what to suggest in this situation except maybe a blow up bed on the floor of your child's room for your husband

NewYoiker · 05/07/2019 22:24

Would a sinus rinse help? My husband has really bad hay fever and he's been using one for a few weeks and he said that it's the first time in years he can breathe through his nose!

Original poster

vszion · 05/07/2019 22:25

We have now brought a blow up bed and he is sleeping in the living room on the floor with all the windows open and the door closed so he is happy , I am in the bedroom with the windows closed but a fan on so I am happy. Let's hope I can get a good night's sleep tonight.

OP posts:

Original poster

vszion · 05/07/2019 22:27

@NewYoiker it normally does bring instant relief but as soon as the dreaded pollen sneaks back in there your back to not breathing again which is a pain when it keeps you up all night . I did buy a salt pipe from holland and Barrat which offers some relief so that's nice but Im glad next year I'll be able to have my steroid injection again cause there's so much I miss out on especially when the weather is so good .

OP posts:

Geminijes · 05/07/2019 22:30

This is a difficult problem to solve.

Your need to have the window closed doesn't trump your husband's need to have it open and vice versa.

My son suffers terribly from hay fever and we have bought the Dyson Pure Cool Link fan. It's brilliant. It removes the pollen from the air as well as keeping the room cool. He sleeps with his window open and the fan on and suffers very little.

My son used to be like you, wanting the windows closed but now, with the fan, he has them open.

I would definitely recommend the Dyson fan above all others. It's expensive but well worth the money.

TwistyTop · 05/07/2019 22:41

I live in the tropics. It's currently "winter" over here. My winter is 27°c-32°c with close to 100% humidity and I am environmentally conscious so avoid the aircon most days. My advice on this is good;

Unless you have overhead fans installed in every room, which I'm assuming you don't as you're in the UK, then your DH's window routine is all wrong. You keep windows and curtains/blinds closed during the day, and then once the sun goes down you open up every window in the house and leave all the doors open to get a through breeze. If you have a heat trap area then exclude that if you can get away with it (ie if you have a very hot spare bedroom that always traps heat then leave that door closed). When the sun starts to come back up you close everything again.

TwistyTop · 05/07/2019 22:44

I've just seen that you're suffering with the hayfever at night too... You poor thing. In that case I'd keep everything closed all the time and run the fans at night. The important point I wanted to get across was that having the windows open during daylight hours makes your house hotter. Explain this to your DH.

Vulpine · 05/07/2019 22:56

I'm the opposite. I like to feel a breeze on my face but my dh always closes the window. Drives me mad.

drsausage · 05/07/2019 23:04

We've just put our window A/C units in and it's so so so wonderful.

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