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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wwyd

18 replies

DeepfriedPizza · 05/07/2019 15:40

More of a wwyd than and aibu but I am probably being unreasonable by getting bothered by it.

Woman at work, let's call her Susan spends upwards of an hour in the toilet at any one time, I am not exaggerating. I think the longest it's been 2 hours. Before anyone asks, no, I have not been timing her but her desk is near mine so I know when she is coming and going. Another point is that our toilet only has 2 cubicles so when you go in and Susan is in she does a little cough to make you aware she is in so you don't turn the light out on her.

She is in a role where other people rely on her to do things for her so often go to her desk to look for her but when she is not there they ask me where she is. I usually say " I don't know" but today the CEO has been round looking for her 3 times. The first time he came round was 2pm ( I noted the time as I was just coming off my lunch break) so she hasn't been at her desk for over an hour and a half. I know she's in the toilet as I went in and she did her little cough.
I have, in the past, asked her if she is ok when she comes back and she always says yes but it's all a bit odd and awkward.

Would you do anything in my position or just leave it?

OP posts:
MyOpinionIsValid · 05/07/2019 15:42

Unless you are her line manager, it is not your place to 'do anything'. What were you thinking of doing ?

When people ask, say she is in the toilet, ad infinitum.

WorraLiberty · 05/07/2019 15:43

Not in your position no, but if I was her line manager I'd be asking if she has a health condition and what the company can do to help.

If you haven't let your line manager know already then you need to.

Having said that, I'm surprised anyone would get away with being in a toilet for 2 hours without lots of questions being asked.

Original poster
DeepfriedPizza · 05/07/2019 15:57

CEO is her line manager (small company) so knows she isn't at her desk for hours at a time, no questions asked.

I wasn't thinking of doing anything, just looking for perspective I suppose

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/07/2019 16:00

Yes but only you know she's in the toilet for up to two hours.

This would make me seriously worried about her and want to share that with my line manager.

Of course she may have a medical condition that her LM knows about but even then, it could have worsened.

Toooldtocareanymore · 05/07/2019 16:00

does she bring a bag or anything with her?

PurpleDaisies · 05/07/2019 16:01

CEO is her line manager (small company) so knows she isn't at her desk for hours at a time, no questions asked.

How do you know no questions have been asked? That would be a confidential conversation.

Golightly133 · 05/07/2019 16:03

We had a fella in our office used to this everyday 9.15 till 11.15 took his bag and everything with home used to read while he was in there. Said he had ibs

Original poster
DeepfriedPizza · 05/07/2019 16:03

no bag and she leaves her phone on her desk as I hear that pinging.

I think I might share it with the CEO and he can deal with it

OP posts:
ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 05/07/2019 16:04

I used to be in the toilet for hours at a time but then got diagnosed with crohn's and now have appropriate medication.
If you want to say something then do so from a position of concern not dobbing her in iyswim

Summertimeatthebeach · 05/07/2019 16:05

So she isn't mning then!

ohhelloitsyou · 05/07/2019 16:08

If they didn’t know where she was they’d have asked questions already but they can’t share that with you. Chances are she has a stomach issue/medical problem and they are aware. Otherwise they’d be kicking up a huge fuss over her being away from her desk for hours with no explanation I’d have thought.

Original poster
DeepfriedPizza · 05/07/2019 16:09

It's not a dobbing in situation at all. I am genuinely concerned

I MN from my desk Grin

OP posts:
Apolloanddaphne · 05/07/2019 16:13

There is a big difference from dobbing someone in and acting out of concern. I think when she comes back I would say to her the CEO has been looking for her and is she okay as she seems to have been on the loo for a long time. She what she says.

Horsemenoftheaclopalypse · 05/07/2019 16:13

Is she taking her phone with her?

Raise it with the ceo if it is impacting you/your work but in all likelihood it’s medical.

Chloemol · 05/07/2019 16:17

She may have an illness. I have colitis and can sometime spend an hour in the toilet

SoupDragon · 05/07/2019 16:19

It's not a dobbing in situation at all. I am genuinely concerned

Of course telling her boss is dobbing her in! Concern would be asking if she is OK.

LaurieFairyCake · 05/07/2019 16:19

I would assume she had a second phone/IPad Confused

Because even if you had ibs/crippling anxiety/colitis I'd still want to be on my phone managing the symptoms or entertaining myself while I strained

SoupDragon · 05/07/2019 16:20

If her boss seems unconcerned, chances are he knows if there is a reason and what it is.

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