To ask how much you spend on presents/gifts/donations?

[teaandbiscuits89]

How much would you spend on-

• Wedding present (does it matter if you're in the wedding, not in the wedding or evening do invite?)
• Baby present? (Does it matter if close friend, 2nd or 3rd child)
• friend or relative raising money for charity, how much do you sponsor them?
• engagement present (do you buy one if no engagement party?)
• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married etc
• church collection (does it matter if you attend more regularly?)

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays -do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend? -childs school birthday party gift -gift for teachers? -if invited for dinner what do you bring?

I never know if I'm spending enough and never want to ask people!

Should we scan bank statements and payslips too ?

@myopinionisvalid

Why would you do that? I asked how much you spend on gifts not how much you earn? Strange response!

Hmmm

• £50 if we knew the couple well, maybe £20 if less so
• £20, though more if a close friend. It wouldn't matter if it was a 2nd/3rd baby
• £5/10 if a friend was raising money for a cause that's close to their heart
• I don't buy engagement presents but would send a card
• £2/3 in a collection for someone at work
• I don't attend church
• I try not to go over £20 for birthdays but might spend a bit more for a milestone birthday and they were a close friend/relative
• I do buy presents for my friends' childrens' birthdays but try to keep it below £15
• my DC isn't old enough yet but I imagine I would keep it quite cheap for a friend's birthday party present so £5?
• I think I would have my DC make something/write a note for a teacher gift instead of buying one
• I usually take homemade cake for dessert if going to someone's for dinner

I'm admittedly quite a cheap person but we don't have a lot of spare cash. I try to buy ahead and pick things up throughout the year, buy second hand or make something to try and keep costs down.

Never been to a wedding.
Don't buy baby presents.
Would usually not sponsor, but a good friend, ten quid.
Don't buy engagement presents.
7 quid (1000 yen)
Don't go to church
Nothing special for round birthdays, but I spend about 1,000 on my wife, 100 on my parents and MiL each, and 10-15 on each nephew and niece.
Don't buy friends' children presents.
Don't have children.
Therefore no teachers either.
Bottle of Sancerre or Chateauneuf, or some beers.

Should we scan bank statements and payslips too ?

The weirdest first reply I've ever seen on here.

Between £20 and £75 for those OP, I don't go to church though.

@sylviaandsidney

I know, The question is AIBU, people are well within their rights to tell me I'm being too nosey and to bugger off lol no need for passive aggression/sarky answers!

Thanks for replies so far! Interesting to see other peoples and I think I knew I was spending a bit much, I'm always concerned that it doesn't look enough even if I spent a fair amount! But then if i was receiving a gift I'd just be grateful someone thought of me at all!

I think I am really tight (got big anxiety around money)

My answers are:
Wedding Present £20 for family/ good friends often a meaningful present not off list
Baby Gift
As cheap as possible really- just something small
Charity Sponsorship
£10 max
Engagement party
Again, as cheap as possible or a token gift/ flowers
Collection at work
£3 max
Church collection
£2 max
Friends kid's birthday
Cheap as possible
Kid's party gift
Cheap as possible
Teachers present
£4
Dinner with friends
Take wine/ nibbles/ desserts or small gift (jam/ plant) etc if not

I am a really good present storer though so I do sales really well, buying and squirreling away lovely gifts very cheap- I'm good at gifts, but also aware of money

• Wedding present (does it matter if you're in the wedding, not in the wedding or evening do invite?)

varies from a bottle of champagne to >£100 depending on how close they are, what I feel like buying them, and how rich I feel at the time

• Baby present? (Does it matter if close friend, 2nd or 3rd child)

£10-15 for very close friends only, prob less for later children

• friend or relative raising money for charity, how much do you sponsor them?

£5-20 depending on how well I know them and what the cause is. I don't usually sponsor at all though unless its something really "tough" (and this is person specific) - I'm not sponsoring people to do their hobbies

• engagement present (do you buy one if no engagement party?)

card and a bottle of fizz if theres a party, bottle of fizz when I see them next if not

• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married etc

couple of quid normally unless I like them enough to consider them a friend as well as a colleague

• church collection (does it matter if you attend more regularly?)

I don't go to church

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays
We don't generally buy gifts apart from a bottle of something

-do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend?
only if I know them well / am going to a party. £10-£20 but expect this to decrease as more friends have kids!

-childs school birthday party gift
no kids but if I did probably £5

-gift for teachers?
never did this even as a child so no idea. probably just a card

-if invited for dinner what do you bring?
usually some wine or similar and ask if there's anything else they want.

We budget around £150 for gifts each month so would spend that spread across. Usually £40-50 for a wedding, £30 for a family member birthday.
Church giving significantly more and for charity we put aside £50 or so each month and let it stockpile then can donate as and when to what we want to. If sponsoring a friend I'd take from that pot so more of a cause I wanted to support.

• Wedding present? £100 full day invite, £50 evening invite
• Baby present? £20
• friend or relative raising money for charity, how much do you sponsor them? £20
• engagement present (do you buy one if no engagement party?) no, I'd send a card
• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married etc £5
• church collection (does it matter if you attend more regularly?) £2-£3

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays? up to £50 depending who it is -do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend? £10 -childs school birthday party gift £5-£10 -gift for teachers? £5 -if invited for dinner what do you bring? Couple bottles of wine/fizz

A few of these aren't relevant to me but I'd spend up to £100 on a wedding present, maybe £200 if it were a best friend and an extravagant wedding.

I don't have many close friends I buy birthday presents for so I'd spend £50-£100 probably. For Christmas I'd get smaller more token things.

Wedding-. £25 approx. Regardless of daytime/evening.
Baby present- £10 for any 1st 2nd or 3rd+
Charity £5
Engagement-card only. Maybe bottle of fizz if a party
Work collection-£5
Church-£2
30/40/50th-£10-£20 whoever it is.
Friends kids-£5-£10 (up to £15 if party)
School friend's party £10-£15
Teachers- £5
Dinner with friends- Chocolates.

• Wedding present £25-50 depending on how good a friend
• Baby present? Good friend or family around £20-30 for first, £10-15 for second
• friend or relative raising money for charity, how much do you sponsor them? £15-25
• engagement present? nothing
• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married £2-5 depending how well I know/like them

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays? nothing for normal birthday, maybe £10 for milestone -do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend? None unless invited to party, then £5-10 -childs school birthday party gift £5 -gift for teachers? £5 -if invited for dinner what do you bring? Wine and chocolates

I think it's helpful to give some consideration to what's reasonable to donate.Work collections are particularly difficult and in my case they often involve meals out, contributions to teas in the office and the present itself.One such event this morning nth probably cost me around £30 so it's a fair amount of money.

• Wedding present (does it matter if you're in the wedding, not in the wedding or evening do invite?) £100 for friends- always gift cash and an Emmy Bridgewater year jug. Close family- not been one for a while but £400
• Baby present? (Does it matter if close friend, 2nd or 3rd child) This is usually for my staff £50-70-
• friend or relative raising money for charity, how much do you sponsor them? Depends - don't usually but just did £250 for race for life for a family member.
• engagement present (do you buy one if no engagement party?) Not had one
• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married etc . Don't do this as I am the boss- I would pay for the leaving do and give a gift if attending the wedding s above.
• church collection (does it matter if you attend more regularly?) Don't attend- when we did it was gift aid. Would put £10-20 in at a wedding, funeral or christening.

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays. Dont- dont buy any adult birthday presents. -do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend? Too old now but it was £10-20 -childs school birthday party gift as above -gift for teachers? Dont do this -if invited for dinner what do you bring? Bottle of champagne or Harris gin and fresh flowers. No gift is to be consumed as part of the meal- it is a gift not a contribution.

Wedding- £50 when we're invited for the full day, £20-30 or a bottle of champagne if just the evening do.
Baby present- £10-20 for friends.
Sponsorship - £10
Engagement - nothing normally, fizz if there's a party. My sister just got engaged and I've got flowers and fizz for her
Big birthdays- Normally spend £30-40 for family gifts, will up it for a significant birthday. My nephew and niece got £100 on their 18ths.
Friends kids- £10-20. Party or no party friends kids get a present.
School parties- under a tenner.
Teachers- we've all chipped in a tenner each for some flowers and vouchers
Dinner- flowers and wine/ chocolates so maybe £20 worth.

• Wedding present (does it matter if you're in the wedding, not in the wedding or evening do invite?)

£100 for all

• Baby present? (Does it matter if close friend, 2nd or 3rd child)

All get the same box of books in a personalised basket saying "X's first library" (probably costs around £60)

• friend or relative raising money for charity, how much do you sponsor them?

Somewhere between £30-£50

• engagement present (do you buy one if no engagement party?)

£50, though we did spend more on a close friend's engagement recently and bought them a trip away

• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married etc

£10 - £20 depending what's in my purse

• church collection (does it matter if you attend more regularly?)

At least a fiver plus whatever shrapnel is in DH's pockets

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays
£50 for close friends, more on 'big' birthdays

-do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend?
Always. My friends DC are lovely and it's usually around £30-£50 depending on what they're interested in

-childs school birthday party gift
Always £20 in a card

-gift for teachers?
Always an orchid in a personalised plant pot (around £20)

-if invited for dinner what do you bring?
A nice bottle of wine and big bunch of flowers

Surely it's dependent on income?

Wedding £100 for good friends, more for family

Engagement - bottle of champagne

Work collection - depends entirely on who it is £1-£10

Baby gift - depends who it is! £0-£100

Birthdays - husband / kids £100 / close family £50 / others we don't gift just do cards

Sent to soon...

Charity - don't. I give to the charities I want to on a standing order

Dinner - flowers / chocolate and wine or gin depending on who it is

Wedding present £50 friend, £100+ for family
Babies £40
Sponsoring/charity - depends on if I support that charity. If not nil. If they do 5k walk then that's so blooming easy that I probably wouldn't give to that. If they make efforts and it's something I support then £10.
Engagements - nil.
Leaving work/ colleague marrying - depends on how close, how many colleagues. £2 - £10 in collection envelope.
Church collection £2
Donations for charity at funerals £50 (or £25 if I've sent flowers for deceased too).
30th, 40th etc - £30, £40. For friends I normally spend £30 for a normal birthday.
Dinner invite - a posh bottle of wine.

Wedding present: £50 average, though I spent about £400 on my stepson
Baby: only for close friends/family, about £20-30 doesn’t matter if first or tenth! Might be a present for mum rather than baby though!
Sponsor: £10
Engagement: no
Collection for leaving: £10
Church: £5-10 (doesn’t matter)
Birthdays: same but wouldn’t normally buy people outside my family a present unless they are doing a party. £20-30.
Friends children’s birthday: don’t normally unless going to party then £20
Child’s friend’s birthday party: £10
Teachers: if collection £10, otherwise that it may have child make fudge or something. Didn’t give any teachers gifts this year other than my son’s year head teacher (son leaving school) £24
Dinner: bottle of wine

@MyOpinionIsValid except your opinion is actually a bit daft here

It depends really. £50 as standard for weddings, £5 or less for collections at work (in theory... I wfh). Baby/bday gifts etc I always buy during the sales out of season, so I’ll spend half the face value iyswim. So a little toddler whose party we have coming up, I spent £11 but bought £25 worth of stuff. I have a drawerful. Likewise Duplo when it was half off in Lidl.

£100-£200 on weddings (don't go unless I'm invited to the ceremony though)
Work collections are always £5 from everyone (but we don't do birthdays etc)
Raising money - £20 (but only if it's not a glorified holiday and if I support the cause)
Special birthdays--only buy for actual friends, so usually £50-100 depending on whether it's BF or not
Other people's children's birthdays/Christmas - work colleagues' kids - £10-20 (family and godchildren £20-50k)

No children so no teachers/parties

Church - give direct debit monthly and put 50p-£5 in weekly
Collections at funerals/weddings/Christenings - £10
Retiring collections at funerals in lieu of flowers - £50

BUT: I don't have many people to buy for (hence giving to some colleagues' children), don't have many friends full stop, and donating to charity is very important to me despite not having savings/living in rented accommodation: the combination means I can afford to spend more as I have fewer occasions on which it crops up.

Surely this is very much a casa of one size doesn't fit all, but for what it's worth here are mine:

• Wedding present: usually £100, have given £50 when it was an old friend getting married and I couldn't make it;
• Baby present? About £20
• friend or relative raising money for charity? My parents and I sponsor my cousin when she does an annual breast cancer, £100 combined. I don't sponsor anyone else.
• engagement present (do you buy one if no engagement party? Bottle of bubbles if going to party, card otherwise.
• collection at work for someone leaving/getting married etc.? Small law firm where there's an expectation everyone will purchase in and 'be a team player'...it's usually £100 for weddings, no one left since I started but I expect around the same. I appreciate other workplaces will be very different.
• church collection? Only really go for weddings, christenings and funerals these days, £5.

-30th 40th etc birthday presents vs normal birthdays? Bottle or book if I happen to go to the party or meet the person around their birthday, card or text otherwise. -do you buy your friends children birthday presents? How much do you spend? Depends how close I am to the parents, it's usually a book or item of clothing, no more than about £15 and that's only if I'm invited to the house, or if I'm seeing the parent around the child's birthday (have no children of my own if that's relevant). -if invited for dinner what do you bring? Book, bottle of wine or plant. If very good friends I might not bring anything as we reciprocate frequently and don't want to be stuck into a cicle of endless pointless gift-giving.