AIBU to not know how I feel

[flabbymommy]

Last night I found out my husband has been having an affair. He says that it's only been a few kisses and nothing sexual but from the look of the text messages it's more because of a lack of opportunity. It's been going on for a few months. In fact it started about two months before we started having issues in our marriage. I feel hollow right now. I called my best friend to talk and she came back with "at least it's not some one night stand" and that mad me so angry for some reason. I know I was being unreasonable to snap at her when she said this but she didn't accept that I only did so because I don't know how I feel. Apparently that's a cop out and IMBU to call her if I don't know what I feel and I don't want to listen. I can't loose my best friend and my husband in the same night. Was IBU to call her just to vent?

No YANBU that's a bit of a weird thing to say. She could have just listened to you vent but honestly with what's happening with your husband id leave the friend and let it go

Your friend is reacting quite strangely and saying "at least it's not a one night stand" is bout helpful at all.

Sometimes you just want to rant and someone to listen, but some people cant do that and have to give "helpful" advice or solutions. I would not contact the friend for now and apologise in a few days when its slightly less raw.

It was an idiotic thing for her to say. I’m assuming she said it because she panicked and went into ‘look on the bright side!’ mode because she thought she was being helpful and cheering you up, but it was still thick and insensitive. Of course you don’t know what you feel, you’re in shock, and of course you were venting!.

Take care of yourself, OP.

Don’t want to fuel the fire but are you dead sure this friend has your best interest at heart?
We all have/had a “frienemy” that when time came instead of being helpful they pushed you further down.
Ignore the friend situation, I’d be very forgiving if my friend was going thru such situation and had a go at me but right now, shorting your marriage is the important issue.

Hope you're okay OP

I had this many years ago, don't worry about your friend, if she's really your friend she'll stick around.

I tried to make it work with my ex after finding out but ending up splitting up because I just couldnt get past it. Don't let your DP rush you into forgiving him, take time to decide how you feel about it.

I can't loose my best friend and my husband in the same night

But why, they both sound like useless fuckers with no thought for your feelings. for you OP, please take care of yourself. Sorry that this has happened to you.