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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact the police?

27 replies

Totalfusion · 05/07/2019 00:06

15 yr old DD catches the bus to and from school and for the last 3 months or so a 60ish yr old man has been catching the same bus from the same stop as her. There are other people waiting at the stop too but this particular man really makes my DD feel uneasy, he hasn't said or done anything but his presence at the bus stop makes her uncomfortable and for the last few weeks she's taken to waiting for the bus at the next stop to avoid him.

The man gets off the bus at the stop closest to DDs school and she gets off at the next stop to meet with friends so I haven't been too worried about DDs instinct regarding this man.

For the past 2 to 3 weeks though DD has noticed the same man sometimes hanging around after school, he then gets the same bus home as her, getting on and off at the same stop as her which has really made her anxious.

To cut a long story short, this week I've drove DD to and from school and have observed this man's comings and goings for a few days and I am now bloody anxious about him myself!

So each morning this man:
• drives to a side street near to the bus stop on the main road, parks up then goes to wait for the bus.
• travels on the bus for approx 10 minutes and gets off near the high school.
• once off the bus he remains at the bus stop watching the kids walk down to the school.
• once the kids have gone in he crosses over to get the bus back to where his car is.
• in the afternoon he parks up in the same place and catches the bus again to watch the kids coming out of school.

Today I also saw him at the end of my road when I went to collect my younger children from school!

I dont live far from where he parks his car, and round the corner from my house is a special needs high school which finishes early compared to other local schools. This same man was stood on the corner of my road looking up the street at the children coming out of the gate. If I hadn't seen him before I would have just assumed he was collecting a child from the school but I doubt he was.

After watching these children he must have jumped on a bus to my daughters school as, by the time I'd picked up my younger 2 and got to DDs school he was at the bus stop waiting for a bus to bring him back for his car.

Would I be unreasonable to phone the police about this man? As far as I know what he is doing isn't against the law but I am really concerned and my daughter is scared half to death.

OP posts:
WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 05/07/2019 00:09

That is seriously dodgy .

I would say ring the police OP , or 101 at least . It is strange behaviour definitely

Weezol · 05/07/2019 00:12

I understand, but I'm not sure what the police can do at this stage. Can you get his reg number as a starting point before you call them for advice? Also note down the bus times/numbers - most have cctv these days. They need some way to start identifying him.

I'm not saying you should mount your own investigation, just that if you approach with something for them to work with, it might help.

Tigger001 · 05/07/2019 00:14

Yep I would definitely notify someone. If something were to happen and I hadn't, wrongly or rightly I would feel so so guilty .

BlueSuffragette · 05/07/2019 00:15

Yes ring and pass on your concerns. He sounds odd and overly interested in children.

Maybelle15 · 05/07/2019 00:20

i would notify the school

Isthebigwomanhere · 05/07/2019 00:21

Notify the school and get his registration number

Original poster
Totalfusion · 05/07/2019 00:27

I have his registration number and I know the time of the morning bus.

OP posts:
Blondebakingmumma · 05/07/2019 00:28

I would tell the police. He may have an unsavory history that the police are aware of

MiniMum97 · 05/07/2019 00:28

I would notify the police with his reg number and bus numbers etc and ALL of the schools concerned. That is extremely concerning behaviour.

Justaboy · 05/07/2019 00:32

Tell the police its possible he might have "form" and tell the school of your concerns this is deffo dodgy behaviour:(

hmga90 · 05/07/2019 00:35

It’s better to be safe then sorry OP. Like others have said I’d be telling the school too.

Idiot1 · 05/07/2019 00:36

Definitely notify the police

Aquamarine1029 · 05/07/2019 00:37

I would confront him directly and I would tell the police as well.

RosaWaiting · 05/07/2019 00:41

Tell the police and the school

greenlynx · 05/07/2019 00:44

I would notify police. It’s very strange and suspicious behavior.

Screamanger · 05/07/2019 00:45

He could be NC with his family and misses his grandkids so is watching from a distance.

He doesn’t make contact with anyone

pucelleauxblanchesmains · 05/07/2019 00:52

@Screamanger - at multiple different schools? Not impossible but much less likely, surely?

sacope · 05/07/2019 00:53

I would confront him directly

Don't do this. Contact the police and let school know you have done so. If you confront him (and there is something dodgy) he will go underground and the police won't be able to 'catch' him.

If he has no idea anyone is on to him police can turn up and question what he is doing.

ncqueen · 05/07/2019 00:54

All you can do is notify the police. Doubtful they will be able to do much but at least you will have done what you can. They may be able to 'move him on' if they see him hanging around schools and it is making others feel threatened. If he is not up to anything then he will comply and feel embaressed. Either way it will be noted.

sacope · 05/07/2019 00:54

He could be NC with his family and misses his grandkids so is watching from a distance.

Twice a day, every day?

greenlynx · 05/07/2019 00:54

He could be NC with his family and misses his grandkids so is watching from a distance.
I thought about this at first but why he’s watching at 2 schools?
If it’s just long lost loving relative he will easily explain this to the police.

Hidingtonothing · 05/07/2019 00:58

Definitely report what you know but don't get your hopes up that anything will be done. Unless he's already known/on sex offenders register it's likely the police will say no offence has been committed but it's always worth reporting just in case.

We had police called to our local playground last week because a man (not a parent, he was there alone) was taking photos of the children playing, they caught him and saw the photos for themselves but said no crime had been committed Shock I hope you have more success, I would be worried too.

BlankTimes · 05/07/2019 01:12

I would confront him directly please don't, he could disappear and start doing this somewhere else.
As things stand, he's unaware that he's drawn attention so the OP has a good chance of alerting the Police who can see if he is known to them for this kind of thing.

Lilymossflower · 05/07/2019 01:25

Yes tell the police

Start a written record of all his comings and goings

Get video evidence and get his cars reg number

Try to get other parents to report him also

An isolated complaint would be logged but probably not acted on by the police.
But backed up with evidence and further complaints, could get the police to get involved with him.

Which hopefully would scare him enough to back off , though by the sounds of it he's a full blown creep and deffo needs police involvement

Lilymossflower · 05/07/2019 01:27

Also tell the schools.

The more people who can say that its true the better . and the schools need to know so they can keep an eye on him and protect the kids

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