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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To just want to go home.

16 replies

Lily715 · 04/07/2019 22:14

I've had a disastrous holiday with my partner. It's way too hot where we are for both of us, things feel so distant between us, my self esteem is on the floor currently so I haven't felt comfortable in any of my holiday clothes. I think we have very different ideas of what it means to be on holiday, he wants to do stuff all the time whereas I'm happy chilling. I'm happy to reach a compromise but it's difficult in 37 degree heat to be on the go all the time.

I just want to go home. I feel so unhappy and just feel like I've/we've wasted so much money.

OP posts:

Wallabyone · 04/07/2019 22:15

Hope you're okay. Is it your first holiday away together? I found that it took a while for mine and my now H's expectations around holidays to meet somewhere in the middle.

Joopy · 04/07/2019 22:17

Can he go and do something on his own?

Original poster

Lily715 · 04/07/2019 22:18

Thank you for replying. No we've been on a few holidays together, been together two years on and off. I just feel like it's so much hotter than either of us thought it would be that we've just spent the time being really uncomfortable and hot and cranky/grumpy with each other.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lily715 · 04/07/2019 22:24

Yeah he can and he does but it leaves us both then a bit lonely, both in a country we don't know where lots of people don't speak English etc. I feel like this holiday has uncovered bigger problems with our relationship tbh.

OP posts:

NannyRed · 04/07/2019 22:32

That kind of heat is draining for anyone.
I feel for you, sorry I can’t be more helpful or offer any advice.

Original poster

Lily715 · 04/07/2019 22:42

I just feel so so unhappy here. He's gone to sleep now but I'm so close to asking him in the morning if we can go home.

OP posts:

Dafspunk · 04/07/2019 22:45

Why do you have to ask him if you can? Just tell him you’re going home - he can come too, or not. His choice.

Spiceupyourlife · 04/07/2019 22:47

Omg OP this was me!! I read your post with so much empathy. I was on honeymoon in Europe (returned today) and we were getting blasted with 40 degree heat and near 100% humidity for about a week. Basically didn’t go outside and I was pretty miserable.

DH and I hardly ever argue but it REALLY tested us. In the end I said I just wanted to come home and so we landed back in England today (3 days early).

Luckily we were on quite a long trip so the first 10 days or so (before the heatwave hit) were totally lovely.

You need to tell him how you feel but understand that he may not like it, or want to return home with you. Xx

woodpigeons · 04/07/2019 22:53

Can you afford to hire a car?
We went on holiday a few years ago with a 3 year old.
It was May but the weather was unseasonably hot so we got into a routine of pool first thing then driving in the air conditioned car to various sites. Beach then around 4pm.
Advantage was dc slept a bit in the car so we could have dinner later when it was really cool.

TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan · 04/07/2019 22:56

Can you compromise? Hire a car with AC get up and out early, find somewhere shady for lunch and doze by the pool in the afternoon?

MereDintofPandiculation · 04/07/2019 22:59

Try getting up at first light when it's still cool enough to do something, then maybe both of you will be happy to laze through the heat of the day.

Nanna50 · 04/07/2019 23:00

Is he happy to make a compromise? Holidays can sometimes be an anticlimax if you’ve been looking forward.

On holiday you usually spend more time with your DP than you ever normally do and if this heat makes you cranky then things can quickly deteriorate. And yes it can reveal flaws in your relationship.

How is your relationship at home, is your self esteem preventing you relaxing and enjoying yourself?

Not really helpful but I’m a lounger and book type of person, my DH is bored within 30 mins. We have to choose our holidays with this in mind and have mix of time together and time doing what we enjoy or a compromise between chilling days and doing stuff days.

We sometimes spend hours apart during the day but never feel lonely. But may well be grumpy stuck together 24 / 7 in this heat.

Toseland · 04/07/2019 23:10

How many days in are you? It usually takes us a good few days to chill out and acclimatise when we go on holiday, it’s pretty much a running joke like ‘overtired’...

ExtraFox19 · 04/07/2019 23:17

There’s a reason people who live in these climates don’t rush about in the heat.

Original poster

Lily715 · 05/07/2019 13:27

We are going home on Sunday so I've decided to stick it out. It's been a really expensive holiday and flight home would be about 150. He went out this morning while I chilled by the pool. Thank you so much for all your kindness and helpful suggestions everyone x

OP posts:

BarbedBloom · 05/07/2019 13:29

I am like your partner, I hate sitting around and doing nothing. Luckily my husband is the same as me, but we still compromise as he does want some downtime too so we do one day out and one day relaxing so we are both happy.

I do hate the heat though and I really sympathise. If he wants to go off then let him and just read by the pool etc

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