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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask, is it really as relaxing as I think it must be not to worry about rent / mortgage and own a home outright while still working?

66 replies

Swellerellamoo · 04/07/2019 21:29

Just that really. I'm renting and saving for a deposit to buy and it feels so stressful....I'm constantly worried that if I lose my job / get ill / landlord sells I don't know what would happen to me and my DC (lone parent, no maintenance). I have friends who own their houses outright and so work less... They are lovely enough to never make a big deal that they feel comfortable and unstressed , but they must, right? I fantasize about owning my home outright and thinking wow I would feel so lucky. Is that how it feels?

OP posts:

DramaAlpaca · 04/07/2019 22:16

Ask me this time next year when we'll have paid off our mortgage. I can't wait.

PickAChew · 04/07/2019 22:18

We lived mortgage free for a few years. It was great!

Then we put all the money we saved into this house and we're mortgaged until I'm 70, if we can't overpay past enough!

To the PP, cancelling a holiday and some entertainment plans because of a major plumbing emergency isn't the same level of stress as wondering how you'll fix the major plumbing problem and still be able to pay the next few months' mortgage.

scaryteacher · 04/07/2019 22:19

We will be mortgage free at the beginning of October, just before dh retires at 58. Looking forward to it - it means that we can live very comfortably on his works pension and not worry.

user1493413286 · 04/07/2019 22:21

I would love to be mortgage free as it’d give us a big chunk of money a month but there’s still bills etc. I don’t know anyone my age who is mortgage free though

ILoveAllRainbowsx · 04/07/2019 22:22

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

WinterWillow · 04/07/2019 22:23

@fedup21 we are still paying ours, although we are lucky that in our area new houses, and houses in general are very reasonably priced, and as such we pay less on our mortgage for a new build than we did renting. It's a strange world.

CurlyhairedAssassin · 04/07/2019 22:24

We are now mortgage free. It was a psychological boost to know that whatever happens we have a roof over our head. But somehow I thought that we’d have much more spare money every month than we do. We don’t feel “rich” by no longer paying a mortgage, which is nuts really.

We both still work FT but I guess it might be possible to retire a bit earlier than 67 or switch to part time. However somehow other things loom into view to make you carry on stressing about money somewhat. Ie both kids will probably go to uni so in 3 years our outgoings will increase massively compared to what they are now. So I still don’t feel we can “relax” and not think about earning enough money.

I know it still leaves us in a fortunate position. Some people’s kids go off to uni and they are still having to fork out for a mortgage so their child’s maintenance top up comes on top of that. So while our outgoings will increase again we CAN afford to do it. I guess if you’ve ever at any point in your life had no money then the fear of one day again being in that position never goes away. Maybe a lottery win might relieve that

Reith · 04/07/2019 22:29

I paid mine off at 38. It is a weight off my shoulders and I immediately went part time.

Harveywallplanner · 04/07/2019 22:33

Yes , without a doubt it’s great to be mortgage free but I am only in the position because my dh died. So while I don’t need to worry about paying the mortgage as a pp said I just stress about other things. The pressure of being the sole parent is overwhelming at times.

Smokeyrobinson · 04/07/2019 22:34

We are now mortgage free. It is a wonderful feeling and has allowed me to downgrade from a very stressful job to a role with no responsibility and halve my working hours.

bebeboeuf · 04/07/2019 22:40

25 years to go until mortgage free here (unless we extend our mortgage on moving or extending in future)

It’s still far nicer feeling and less stress than the short stint we did renting

And that’s with some household disasters over the last few years

Jsmith99 · 04/07/2019 22:43

We paid our mortgage off a few years ago. I’m not going to lie, living in a nice house which you own outright, without any debts and with substantial savings is very comfortable indeed.

BUT....

We didn’t get here by luck or by inheritance or by accident. We have both worked VERY hard for many, many years and we have always been careful, prudent and sensible with money. People who are ‘useless with money’ or who think shopping is a hobby or who don’t understand the difference between ‘I want’ and ‘I need’ are always going to struggle to get to this position, however hard they work.

DurhamDurham · 04/07/2019 22:45

We became mortgage free just over a year back. We both promptly dropped a day at work each so we aren't that much better off but no regrets, we love working four day weeks. I do think it's given us peace of mind, it's a good a feeling as we always hoped it would be.

Overmaars · 04/07/2019 22:47

I do agree that you tend to worry about other things if you don't worry about rent/mortgage payments. But I also think it must make you feel much more insecure knowing your home could theoretically be taken away from you. You're doing a great job working to get your deposit together. It will be worth it and you will be proud of yourself doing it on your own.

Soontobe60 · 04/07/2019 22:48

We paid ours off 3 months ago, after 25 years of lots of worry (in the early days) wondering home we were going to pay the mortgage each month! I've gone part time and will finish completely in six months. It's a very liberating feeling.

UnboxingSoon · 04/07/2019 22:51

I have no mortgage. It's a huge weight off my shoulders. I do have other worries yes but nothing compared to the worries I used to have. Worries that I know I will figure out. It is such a relief. I will never forget the feelings of relief actually.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 04/07/2019 22:51

It'll feel good but you'll still worry. The worry hole must be filled.

This. We paid ours off a few years ago when in our mid thirties. It is nice - no matter what happens no one is going to take my children’s home. But like many things - “it is better to travel hopefully than arrive” - it is not as good as we imagined - it is just normal now.

Also now we are not paying childcare I worked out recently that our biggest single expense is probably holidays - which makes me feel somewhere between smug and horrified!

BlueSuffragette · 04/07/2019 22:53

Paid our mortgage off but now we pay for daughters students halls of residence rent. Next year our youngest daughter also goes to uni. So our outgoing haven't dropped. We just have different big bil's to pay.

BlueSuffragette · 04/07/2019 22:54

bills not bil's

Sobeyondthehills · 04/07/2019 22:56

A friend of mine is mortgage free, about 3 years ago she mentioned she was looking for a second house to rent.

Since then she has gone through a run of really bad luck and it was lucky the idea of a second house never came to much more than an idea. She said to me the other day, she felt so fortunate that she had paid off her mortgage as she wasn't sure how they would of coped. I think they were putting the money they were spending on the mortgage into savings (but not 100%) so even though it is lovely, I think if one more thing had gone wrong they would of been in a much worse place.

Now she is in a better place I might start sending her private islands for sale as a subtle hint

Gingernaut · 04/07/2019 22:58

The pressure to keep a roof over your head is off, but there remains all the other bills and maintenance.

Just because you've paid for it, doesn't mean it doesn't require upkeep.

Windows, guttering, flashing, damp course, painting, decorating, flooring, garden - these all cost.

HellYeah90s · 04/07/2019 22:59

We were mortgage free as of last Christmas (we are mid 30s). I received a significant amount of inheritance when my dad died as a teen which contributed to a large deposit, and DH also got a significant amount of inheritance a few years back.

However we could have been mortgage free a lot quicker (or not at all) if we didn't buy a 3bed in a nice area of London.

Sometimes I wonder if it was worth all that worry, DH has never had a good income so I have felt a lot of pressure to keeping the financial security alive (I am the main breadwinner) which I don't think DH quite ever understood the pressure on me, thankfully I never have been made redundant but when I took 2 maternity leaves it was tough.

thenightsky · 04/07/2019 23:02

We paid ours off about 5 years ago. It was a happy but sad time as we used inheritance from me losing my parents .

We are no better off as DH is having to put the same amount (900 a month) into his pension due to being made redundant 4 times and us having to cash in his pensions to live, plus his first pension was 'stolen' - google Robert Maxwell pensions.

BackforGood · 04/07/2019 23:05

Yes, you are right. It is incredibly liberating. I enjoy my job so much more now I know that they need me, FAR more than I need them. Really changes the dynamic.

Bluerussian · 04/07/2019 23:06

Yes, it is good when house is paid for but other problems soon crop up! It's never a good idea to be complacent.

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