WIBU to say you're not having the kids

[clpsmum]

STBXH is being a complete prick. We have an agreement that he has kids one night a week. Today he decided that he might have them and he might not. He said because I have full custody he doesn't have to take them and will take them as and when he wants. I really wanted to say well I don't have to give you them. I didn't I stopped myself but interested to know if you think this would've been unreasonable

I would say “If you want to see them they are available on X day from Y-Z time. See them or don’t, it’s your choice”.

Don’t tell the kids in case he doesn’t turn up but leave it at that. If he doesn’t come on those days then that’s his choice... that’s what would happen with court ordered access.

Why do you have full custody?

I think you need to rise above it. Simply reply, fine with me. How old are the kids? Old enough to decide if they want to see him?

He’s right though, he doesn’t have to take them, he’s under no obligation.
If he chooses not to see them then he’s a massive cunt.

I think it’s reasonable to say he has them each “set day of the week” and if he doesn’t have them that day he doesn’t see them until the following week.

I would never stop them having a relationship with their dad he just winds me up so much. I have full custody because he is lazy and can't be arsed to ha w them to be truthful. My DC are 13,10&8. He knew that my two youngest were in the car and that he was on the car speaker when he said it. He's a narcissist and thinks of nobody but himself

Say he has them on x day each week and that is final.

It wouldn't have been unreasonable for you to have said it but as it's your only nights break ( I presume) for the week you would be cutting off your nose to spite your face. My ex was just like this and it did him no favours in the end, my DC see him but they aren't close.

He sounds like a massive twat. I would say that you agree - he is under no obligation. However, his kids love him and want to see him. Therefore, he needs to decide on a day of the week that works and this will become 'his' night. It is always open to him. If he chooses not to have his kids on his night then it is his loss.

With an ex like that, I would be tempted to move house and forget to tell him 😂