To not buy a christening gift??

[Lottle]

Met this friend when we were in hospital with our babies six months ago. We see each other every few weeks. We are going to her sons christening next week. I'm not getting my son christened as we aren't religious. I wasn't planning on buying a gift. No idea on christening protocol. Am I being unreasonable? If so, roughly what should I be spending and buying?

Thanks!

I think it’s fine not to bring a gift but a card is important. We are religious and had all our DC baptised quite young and IIRC only godparents gave gifts.

If you’re going get a gift. You wouldn’t go to a birthday party without something right? Christening is a big deal. Traditionally you buy something in silver (egg cup, cutlery set, cuff links for when older, hip flask) but you don’t have to spend much. A nice children’s book (maybe a personalised one in the child’s name) is lovely. Someone on this forum once suggested a rose bush that was called the same as the child (tricky, but the name doesn’t actually have to match!) I’d love it if I could say to my child as it bloomed every year ‘my dear friend Lottle gave that to you for your christening and it’s grown every year just like you’.

I would take a card and a gift. For my god children I've got a st Christopher or christening bracelet and for other children I usually get a book/set of books

If you're going then get a gift. It doesn't have to be religious.

I concur with the book idea. A classic hardback would be fine.

We are a religious family and had both our children baptised. We did not expect ANY gifts but cards were very much appreciated. Godparents did give gifts (nothing expensive, DS got a child’s bible from one godparent and a prayer book and mini pewter tankard from the other two). I only give a card if I’m a guest and a present if I’m a godparent.

I had DS baptised as I am religious, but I didn’t expect any gifts. He received cards from everyone and his godparents gave him gifts, a board bible stories book, a St Christopher and a massive dinosaur teddy

A gift is normal; you’d probably be the odd one out if you didn’t. We got very varied gifts for DDs christening - a candle, a blanket, photo frame, story book, cuddly toy

It’s rude to go without a gift

Bring a card at least, it doesn't matter if you are religious. Is there lunch or a party with food afterwards?
If there is think of it like a wedding but less expensive, I usually give between 20 to 50 euro depending on the child.

Hadn't even thought of a card. I'm so clueless about christenings. Will definitely sort that. Thanks x

The only thing with a typical christening gift is you often get duplicates.

I am religious, and was very surprised to receive gifts when DS was baptised as I wasn’t expecting any. I think a card is fine.

Get the child a book on evolution 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have been to a few christening, and didn't buy gifts. And don't think it is the same as going to a party. They are doing it for religious reasons not for a party and presents, well they should be anyway although I know a lot of people see it as a nice get together. If I was to get a present I would keep it simple and get a nice book, maybe a religious one.

Very rude to turn up without a gift.

If you are against religion, don't turn up. If you accept the invitation, you can't be empty handed, it doesn't have to be religious, even a token teddy bear, book, or something with the name of the baby is fine.

And don't think it is the same as going to a party.

depends, did you just attend the christening itself, in church and that's it, or did you join the gathering afterwards, which is a party?

I would not dream of going without a gift and a card. A nice book - a classic - is a good choice.

I wouldn’t consider it rude to not bring a gift. In my eyes we invited people to ds’s baptism to share something special and important with us. A gift wasn’t necessary, they were appreciated of course, but I wouldn’t have thought badly of people for not buying anything.

Get a nice book - job done. I wouldn’t get traditional Christian type gifts if that’s not you, but a book is easy and suitable for the occasion

I think just a card, with a thoughtful message, is OK.

Christening gifts are not usually expensive, and are often religious. I expect you wouldn't want to do the latter, so if you change your mind and decide to get something, I'd get a book.

I only attend if the person is religious themselves and does regular church attendance, then I would take a bible and a card.

A card is fine, I don’t think it’s rude to turn up without a present. We had our daughter christened and lots of people brought presents but I don’t think everyone did and that’s fine!

If its a friend I just buy a typical age appropriate gift at around £5. I figure the family and Godparents will buy the more traditional Christening presents and they don't need too many.

I'd buy a small cube-shaped Emma Bridgewater money box. They are about a fiver and still make a nice keepsake.

I only attend if the person is religious themselves and does regular church attendance

HOW do you even check!