How to avoid potential upsetting situation with friend (related to recent miscarriage)

[SoccerWoman]

My lovely cousin (LC) has recently had a miscarriage, they found out at the 12 week scan last week. LC told me a few days ago.
Around the same time last week, BIL and SIL (ILs) announced their pregnancy to the family after their first scan.
I am equally as happy for them, as I am heartbroken for LC. And obviously the babies would have been due around the same time.

We are having a small social gathering soon, around 15-20 of us, family, friends, kids, etc at smallish house. LC and ILs will be there.
LC doesn’t know my ILs well and I haven’t told her they are expecting. ILs have only told family so not yet common knowledge.

I am worried that ILs will (quite rightly) be sharing their news with everyone at the gathering and discussing dates etc and am aware that this could be understandably upsetting for LC. I don't want to unnecessarily upset LC by telling her before the event. I also don’t want to feel like I am stopping ILs from talking about their happy news.
If you have managed to follow all that - what, if anything, should I do here?
Should I mention it to LC before the event? Speak to ILs? Or just do nothing? I really don’t want to risk being insensitive.
Thanks.

Text her before so she knows and doesn't have to manage her reaction in person. Ask if she'd still like to come or to meet another time and if she needs you to do anything. She's likely to be upset due to pregnancy hormones and grief so you can't avoid upsetting her. You can ensure she has your support.

Tell her before. Say they obviously may be mentioning it at the party and you wanted to forewarn her. Say that if she wants you are happy to run interference if necessary.

Text your cousin before the event to forewarn her.

I would also mention to your in laws about your cousin's miscarriage so they can then be more sensitive about pregnancy talk at the event,

Text her before so she knows and doesn't have to manage her reaction in person.

This, 100%

A text seems impersonal but you would be giving her the opportunity to manage her upset privately, yes you will hurt her but she's going to be hurt no matter what. This way she doesn't have any witnesses and won't be humiliated as well as upset.

If you are going to text her, then make sure its at a time she's not at work or somewhere else she has to keep it together.

When I was going through recurrent miscarriages, I appreciated my friend who phoned me at home one evening to tell me she was pregnant. The friend who sent an email on a workday morning to announce that 'oops, the third baby will be sooner than we planned' - not so much when I left the office in tears.
Not quite the same for your LC I know, but finding out at your 12 week scan is brutal (my 1st pg/mc I found out then) and hearing about any pg is going to be really hard

I would definitely talk to her in advance. If it was you that was pregnant I’d say text so she doesn’t have to try and put on a brave face. As it isn’t and she can show her upset without making you feel bad I would just tell her face to face. She may decide to make an excuse and not come in which case I would be understanding.

Definitely text her to let her know before so she can decide herself. I also had two missed miscarriages as your LC has and was utterly devastated, I would not have coped with your IL’s announcements at all.

It’s likely your ils will be talking about the pregnancy so I agree it’s probably best to forewarn your poor cousin. It will probably upset her, she may decline the invitation altogether but at least she won’t found out in front of everyone at the get together.

Definitely warn her like PP have said, and understand if she decides she can't go anymore because it'll be too hard.

Thanks everyone, really appreciate your advice.
LC is devastated. I am heartbroken for her. I think if it was me I would be upset anytime I heard about or saw the baby even in years to come.
Sending love to anyone reading who has been in her situation
I will send her a text and let her know about ILs and then if she wants to decline that's absolutely fine.

Yeah I would've massively appreciated a heads up in the same situation. It's so, so hard to encounter these things on the hop and then, as someone else said upthread, have to manage your reactions in a public place.

I was in your cousins situation 3 months ago. In this scenario I would appreciate a heads up in advance so I could decide if I wanted to go or not. I am still not okay with being around pregnant people and pregnancy chat.

It's also a good idea to speak to your in laws and request they be a bit sensitive with the pregnancy chat. From your in laws POV they would probably be horrified if they unintentionally upset your cousin not knowing the situation.

Texting in this situation is probably the best way. It gives her time to react however she needs to without an audience and if she does decide to go to the gathering at least she’ll be warned about the news to come.
for LC