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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give nursery notice for a day off.

49 replies

coffeeforone · 04/07/2019 13:57

DS (3) usually goes to nursery while we work. There have been two instances in the past month where I have given last minute notice of a holiday.
Once we were away for the weekend and I had completely forgotten to tell nursery that we wouldn't be back on the Monday (I called on the Monday morning).
And tomorrow. My parents live 350 miles away and are visiting us for the weekend. They just asked me if they can take DS out for the day tomorrow whilst i'm at work (they don't usually get to spend much time with him).

So I emailed the nursery to let them know about tomorrow. I then got a phone call from the nursery manager asking if I can give more notice in future, as she needs to plan staffing levels referred to earlier 'incident' above.
We do usually give as much notice as possible for longer holidays and time off, its just these two instances where i haven't. We pay the same monthly fee regardless of whether DS turns up or not, so whilst i do understand it is helpful to know for planning, I'm not sure we should be criticised for the taking the odd last minute day. How is it different to sickness? AIBU?

OP posts:
herculepoirot2 · 04/07/2019 13:59

I would just say, “Where possible, we will give you notice, of course” and ignore. You are right and they are being a bit cheeky.

Ellisandra · 04/07/2019 13:59

YANBU. Smile and nod. Even though you want to tell her to piss off! Even if you told her in advance, you’ve paid - what if your parents get sick tonight and you need childcare after all? So I’d just say “when I know in advance, I’ll tell you in advance” in a really helpful way. Then not.

SylviaAndSidney · 04/07/2019 14:01

Obviously the further in advance you can let them know about a planned absence is better and polite? Some absences you won't know about until the last minute? I don't really understand your AIBU, you seem to have answered it yourself 🤔

Bouncebacker · 04/07/2019 14:03

YANBU- the only advantage of them knowing in advance is to have fewer staff members on duty and make more money from your fees. I sometimes need to book extra sessions at nursery which I can do if other kids are on holiday, so it’s helpful to me, but not knowing doesn’t cause nursery problems

nauseous5000 · 04/07/2019 14:03

Well she's running a business so can understand why she asked as she can save money with less staff, but I'd be put out too if I were you

FrogFairy · 04/07/2019 14:06

I think Ellisandra makes a very good point. I think it would be fair to say that you will give notice when possible but would still expect the (paid for) slot to be available in case plans fall through.

UnderOverUnderRover · 04/07/2019 14:11

I don't call for dd2 absence, didn't realise I was meant to. She's missed 2 days in 2 months and no-one has said anything.

I always let the CM know, but that just felt different.

Original poster
coffeeforone · 04/07/2019 14:11

We also get reminder emails a few months before the summer and Christmas holidays to let them know about DCs holidays that have been booked so they can 'plan staff holidays'. (I always do this)

But its a very good point that the holiday sessions are still paid for and should always be available if holiday plans fall though for any reason. I'm going to question this.

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 04/07/2019 14:13

Yep we decide to have last minute days off fatherly frequently and inform them when we can. I understand their point about staff however we have paid them so no need for them to worry as they don’t lose out at all

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 04/07/2019 14:18

They dont lose anything but do lose the opportunity for agreeing to extra days from people etc

Passthecherrycoke · 04/07/2019 14:20

True but I’ve paid them for my day anyway so not totally comfortable with them selling the space to someone else for the day.

SinkGirl · 04/07/2019 14:21

They’re being paid for it whether you’re there or not so I’m not concerned about them saving a bit of staff pay potentially saved! They can just give more individual attention to the other kids that morning, they’re not losing anything.

letsrunfar · 04/07/2019 14:21

Can't really see how it makes a difference to nursery if you're not asking for money back.
If anything it mean the staff get a slightly easier day, having to look after one less child.

FrogFairy · 04/07/2019 14:22

It is useful for other parents who might need an extra session, but what happens if your plans change then you need the slot after all. They might not then have capacity for your child but you have paid for that day.

EL8888 · 04/07/2019 14:22

Another vote for nod and smile. They are getting paid either way so whatever

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 04/07/2019 14:22

She doesn’t need to plan staffing for your DCs absence. She should plan for all the children to be there as normal and then any absences just mean fewer heads for the staff to keep an eye on. You don’t need to worry about her staffing levels when taking holidays. She has a nerve calling you tbh.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 04/07/2019 14:24

Thing is they still get the fee and you have no legal requirement to put the child in nursery it’s not school!

Obviously if you know weeks in advance it’s polite to mention it, but the joy of not having a child on school is last minute breaks away surely

Millie2018 · 04/07/2019 14:26

@AmIRightOrAMeringue is right. My DD’s nursery used to have people wanting extra sessions, which they could only accommodate if they knew in advance another child would be absent.
Strictly speaking not your problem as like you say, you pay either way, however I’d agree with the nod and smile approach. You never know when you might need something from them.

TheFastandCurious · 04/07/2019 14:30

You pay for the space so they are being cheeky. I do this all the time. I always call in the morning to let them know if I have a day off work and decide to take them somewhere for the day instead but as I pay for the space I don’t expect to give them prior notice.

Freddiefox · 04/07/2019 14:34

It’s an absolute cheek to ask for more warning, you don’t get a refund spnthe session should still be available to you at all times even if you change your mind and decide to bring him in.

Lunde · 04/07/2019 14:35

On the other hand if staff have wanted time off but the nursery have had to refuse a request to stay within ratios - then it must be very annoying to the person who could have had the day off they wanted.

Once at my nursery there were 4 staff and DD1 was the only child who turned up! The others just didn't bother to let them know - irritating for those who could have taken annual leave and been with their own kids.

floribunda18 · 04/07/2019 14:36

FFS, it should make absolutely no odds to them whether your child is there. It's nursery and not compulsory.

itsaboojum · 04/07/2019 14:37

I think you are well within your rights so long as you’re paying for the place.

However, just a word of caution.

In some areas, short notice absences are recorded and an ongoing pattern may become reportable as a "safeguarding" factor.

Also, it might’ve affect your ability to access a funded (“free” hours) place in the future. In my area, childcare providers are required to give priority to parents who demonstrate they will use the place to the full.

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 04/07/2019 14:38

If they give the session to another child or give a staff time off meaning the can’t have your child for that session then they need to refund you the money for it.

floribunda18 · 04/07/2019 14:39

irritating for those who could have taken annual leave and been with their own kids

The nursery still get paid for those places. I imagine they are not that sad when no kids turn up.

Pub then?

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