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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think schools policy is disgusting?

51 replies

Cocoloco2019 · 04/07/2019 10:55

I have a much younger sibling (17 years my junior) who is currently at school. My brother (8 years my junior) also attended said school and when he was there my mother had various issues with some teachers and their way of behaving towards the students - but that’s another story.

The school have some ludicrous policies in place which I can’t believe parents don’t challenge. I’ve asked my mother why she doesn’t challenge this and she honestly can’t be bothered with the agro. It’s a catholic school and a lot of the teachers are extremely confrontational.

One of the rules (bearing in mind this is a primary school) is if a child is late on more than one occasion then said child will be given a detention after school for 30 minutes. How on earth can you punish a child for being late when it’s the parents that drop them off at school?! Surely a small fine to the parents would be better rather than punish a child for their parents actions? They refuse to take into account other children, late busses trains etc. And again, children of this age are not taking themselves to school!!

Example: child loves to play football, isn’t great at it, but is quite good at netball but they don’t enjoy it. Said child would be forced to join the netball club and wouldn’t be considered for the football club.

Aibu to think parents need to stop lying down and letting schools dictate their child’s upbringing?

OP posts:

Cwtches123 · 04/07/2019 14:22

Did your mother choose this school or was there no other option?

itsaboojum · 04/07/2019 14:27

Schools enjoy power. All you need to know.

Pinkmalinky · 04/07/2019 14:27

YANBU, I’d be asking for a meeting with the head teacher to discuss their ‘policies’ Or I’d be finding a better school.

The child should not be punished for being late to school in primary, it’s obviously not their fault.

MyOpinionIsValid · 04/07/2019 14:30

Seeing as the parent in this siutation knows what she signed up for, Im not sure why the Op is getting her knickers bunched about this.

Kashali · 04/07/2019 14:31

Catholic schools can be like this, one of mine had to go to one for a while, it was awful. Horses for courses and stuff though, they did get much better results and school was best in county.

sotired2 · 04/07/2019 14:35

If you feel this strongly why dont you apply to join the Governors of the school and go about trying to change what you have issues with rather than just moaning about it.

thedevondumpling · 04/07/2019 14:36

Even the senior schools I know would accept disruption to buses/trains as a valid excuse for lateness.

I suppose if it is competitive there might be some justification for not letting children join a team/club but how can they force them to be in a club if they don't want to?

Sounds nutty.

IncrediblySadToo · 04/07/2019 14:37

Confused as to what it's a Catholic school has to do with anything

Are you Grandad? I think it explains everything..

OP I think disgusting isn’t a good description, but fucking unreasonable gets close. Unsurprised though given it’s a catholic school.

However, probably best for your blood pressure to leave it because if the parents don’t care enough to deal with it then you’ll get no where. Unless of course you’re planning on sending your kids there- but why would you? They can’t be the only school near you surely?!

Oliversmumsarmy · 04/07/2019 14:38

I would think that free after school childcare would for some be a plus if you know you can't get back at exactly 3.PM then to extend the school day by 30 minutes seems to be a definite bonus.

ilovesooty · 04/07/2019 14:50

Perhaps you should mind your own business and leave your mum to get on with parenting.

TwistyTop · 04/07/2019 15:04

Doesn't sound too bad to me. I would expect my child to be given detention if they kept being late for school. The parents should be dropping off on time. And I would expect sports teams to have try outs and that the best players would be chosen.

sandragreen · 04/07/2019 15:08

Said child would be forced to join the netball club

Cool story bro

GrouchoMrx · 04/07/2019 15:17

Oh dear. It's bored-teenager season again.

Redpostbox · 04/07/2019 15:23

Don't be late?

Witchend · 04/07/2019 15:38

The other policy is, if a child has a passion/hobby for something but they are not good at it, they are not allowed to join that team/after school club. However if they are good at something, they have to join the team
How is that workable? At what arbitrary point do they go from good=have to join to passion= not allowed to join.

I suspect what the actual policy is, is that they give priority to children who don't do it out of school to their after school clubs. Actually I don't think that's a bad policy. My dc have been on the negative side of that, and I still think it's fair. My dc were lucky enough to have grandparents that paid for that after school activity. The children who were given places were children who wouldn't otherwise get that opportunity.

And the "must join the team" probably is that they choose their best players. Again, no issues with that for competitive games. It's actually pretty miserable playing a game you are outclassed on.

Dc's school used to be similar in that. When they had a competitive match they chose the best. And perfectly fair enough. When it was less competitive, they chose children like my dc who were keen and attended every practice, but weren't good enough to make the team entirely on merit. I thought that was a good policy.

CassianAndor · 04/07/2019 15:40

sounds absolutely shit to me, on both counts. Astonished that anyone could think otherwise, but I suppose the idiots who come up with these policies must have some support.

IvanaPee · 04/07/2019 15:44

What does it being a catholic school have to do with it?

Regarding the detentions, that’s fine.

Regarding the clubs, I actually don’t believe you. You must have your wires crossed. There’s absolutely no way that’s enforceable.

Mostly though, it’s none of your business and if your mother is happy to put up and shut up well...🤷🏻‍♀️

NewGrandad · 04/07/2019 15:46

IncrediblySadToo

In what way? Or is this more anti-religion rhetoric?

ladypenelopeplum · 04/07/2019 15:47

Confused as to what it's a Catholic school has to do with anything.

It's a sin ....

LolaSmiles · 04/07/2019 15:52

Primary school detentions are unusual. It's not something I would choose, but if it gets parents to get their children to school on time (extenuating circumstances aside), then it's up to the school decide how they want to run it. They must have had a lot of lates to adopt that sort of policy, I would imagine.

Teams/clubs: the best kids get the places on the teams. It's fairly standard stuff. There's no point having a team competing comprised of people who aren't that good over people who are good.
As for forcing people to do a team they don't want to, that feels like a 'cool story bro' moment. How exactly are school forcing children to attend enrichment and events beyond the school day?

SpinsterOfArts · 04/07/2019 16:04

YANBU.

When I was at (Catholic) secondary school it was policy that all students had to attend at least 2 after school clubs run by the school. I never did, and it wasn't enforced, I just occasionally got told that I should - but it was technically in the school rules. A very tall friend of mine got pressured into playing on the school netball team. She was good at it but didn't really enjoy it - she could have said no, but she said it wasn't worth the arguments.

So I can see how the things in the OP could possibly happen. Extremely odd in a primary school, though. I've never known a primary school to do after-school detentions for any reason.

Purpleartichoke · 04/07/2019 16:22

My dd’s School has several policies I find ridiculous. I’m not there fighting each and every one because that just isn’t possible.

I agree, detention for a primary student being late is unfair, but I’m not going to fight that battle. If a parent goes in and complains about every little thing, then when something really matters, no one will listen. Parents have to pick their battles.

00100001 · 04/07/2019 16:28

so how do they enforce the 30 min detention? what happens if you just say "no", and take your child home?

How do they 'force' the kids to join teams? I mean, they might do something like "Sophie, you're on the Netball team" and then the child might comply. But again, if parent says "no" what do they actually do? It's not like they can take the kids to matches without consent, or force parents to take kids to matches...

INeedAFlerken · 04/07/2019 16:30

I'd drop them off late on purpose to get the free 30 minutes childcare after school

I know many parents who would probably do that as well.

In primary school, chronic lateness IS a parenting problem, not a child problem. They need to get the educational officers onto such families.

As for the club/sport rules, I don't believe it. Because if it was true, that is beyond appalling. Primary school aged children is when they should be trying lots of different things and supported for doing so.

CORSACORSA · 04/07/2019 17:05

There are big differences in policies and school rules.

Are you sure these are policies?

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