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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Breastfeeding support group with my 19 month old

35 replies

B3ck89 · 04/07/2019 07:50

Has anyone attended a breastfeeding support group with their toddler past the baby years?
I’ve been struggling the last week with my 19 month old feeling like he’s constantly biting me and teeth grinding, my nip is actually so sore from it.
There is a group this morning and I’m debating weather to go for some advise.
I know I know I shouldn’t feel embarrassed going, but I don’t think I’ve seen an older baby/toddler there.
It seems the older he gets, the more I’m aware on people’s opinions.
I’ve had a few comments about how he’s too old to still be feeding Blush

OP posts:
Bellingia · 04/07/2019 07:51

Maybe it’s a sign that it’s time to stop? If it’s causing you that much pain I really don’t think it’s worth it.

nicecuppaforme · 04/07/2019 07:52

One of my friends is feeding her almost 3yo, another friend fed her toddler til he was over 2, I know 3 others that fed until 18 months.
It's more common than you think.

hormonesorDHbeingadick · 04/07/2019 07:53

Go. You will be an inspiration to those with younger babies/toddlers.

WeedsAndMoss · 04/07/2019 07:55

There's a Facebook group called Breastfeeding Older Babies and Beyond with lots of advice.

At 19 months it's much easier to communicate with them and fix the problem!

Greywalls12 · 04/07/2019 07:55

I haven't been to any, but i know someone who goes with her 18month old and she says it's really supportive

IntoValhalla · 04/07/2019 07:55

I’d go Smile
The need for support doesn’t just disappear once your baby is past the newborn stage. If anything, more problems have potential to arise as your baby grows and you have to learn to navigate feeding through things like teething etc.
Sod other people’s opinions! If you’re happy to continue feeding and your baby is happy, then crack on and access the support you need.
The WHO organisation recommend breastfeeding until at least 2 years old anyway, so you’re just following guidelines really by “still” feeding at 19 months. There’s nothing weird or wrong about it Smile

Pinkmalinky · 04/07/2019 07:56

I agree you will provide inspiration for those struggling with smaller babies. Definitely do it.

53rdWay · 04/07/2019 07:56

well done for proving her point, Bellingia Hmm

Is it an NHS group? I think some of them have a 6 months and under rule. You could call and check, and if they say it’s no issue then take him along, but be aware the helpers might not be too well informed on feeding past early days. I’d give one of the BFN/LLL helplines a call instead I think.

BeanBag7 · 04/07/2019 07:58

You shouldn't get comments about feeding too long at a breastfeeding support group! You need support with breastfeeding, you should definitely go along.

I went to a group every week when my daughter was younger and we quite often had visitors with older breastfeeding toddlers.

I'm still friends with lots of those mums and not many of us are still breastfeeding (our kids are between 2 and 2.5) but I am - none of them have ever made a negative comment, they're supportive and understanding in a way that other mums aren't because I think they "get" it a bit more.

Fuckedoffat48b · 04/07/2019 07:58

Fuck off Belingia. Why does it matter whether you think it's worth it?

Original poster
B3ck89 · 04/07/2019 07:58

Thankyou for replies,
I have the breastfeeding older babies and beyond on Facebook, but it takes a little while for the posts to be approved.

I probably should go

OP posts:
BeanBag7 · 04/07/2019 08:00

@Bellingia
You might not think its "worth it" but OP does.

Sometimes it's not as easy as just stopping. I've been attempting to wean my 2 year old for a few weeks but the tantrums and missed naps aren't "worth it" for 5 minutes of my discomfort.

Original poster
B3ck89 · 04/07/2019 08:01

No I don’t think it’s an NHS group, it’s at my local library

OP posts:
NewAccount270219 · 04/07/2019 08:01

If it's a LLL group then 19 months won't be the oldest child there by a long way - there were lots of three year olds still being fed at my local one. They definitely wouldn't have thought it was weird at all for you to go

Whoopstheregomyinsides · 04/07/2019 08:02

The charity run ones definitely support older feeding - go for it

Cheesybiscuits01 · 04/07/2019 08:03

I take my 2 y.old sometimes. The only thing I don't like is he runs around and I worry about him stomping on the babies. We make it a quick visit. Agree they might not have much experience feeding older children though but you shouldn't feel like you can't go. And well done making it this far!!!!xx

53rdWay · 04/07/2019 08:03

Yes, I’d definitely go if it’s one of the charity groups.

Original poster
B3ck89 · 04/07/2019 08:04

It’s definitely not easy stopping, I’ve tried a few times and it’s probably one of the hardest things I’ve tried to do.
I go through phases of enjoying it and then days like this I would love to stop, he’s been attached to me every time I sit down, nipple twiddling constantly, pinching Confused it’s been driving me a little insane, now it’s sore to feed but I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose, maybe teething?

OP posts:
NoodieRoodie · 04/07/2019 08:08

When I ran a breastfeeding group we mainly got newborns but I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at a 19 month. I fed all 3 of mine to between 18 months to 2 years and there were plenty who did the same. When you get a group of breastfeeding mothers together you quite often get ones who are feeding their second/third/eighth... so you can get loads of useful information from other attendees as well as from the people running the group.

DontFundHate · 04/07/2019 08:10

Definitely go, I went with my bf 2yo, plenty of ladies feed toddlers and children, it's just people like that poster above, and others can make you feel bad. I think it's ignorance - NHS and WHO state to feed to 2yr and beyond. I always felt proud to feed my 2yo and fed proudly in public, make a stand, help to normalise it and fuck everyone else.

GMtoBe · 04/07/2019 08:14

Unhelpful first comment. OP I attend (and help to run) our local support group with my 20 month old every week. Go! Not only will you get support but you'll probably be able to give a bit of support/advice to mums feeding younger babies. You're doing a brilliant job!

Falafel19 · 04/07/2019 08:17

I've gone regularly through feeding my two dc to approx 2 years each, nobody bats an eye and many of the mums with younger kids are really interested and want to chat to you.

If he's biting and messing I'd unlatch him, say a firm no, and do this every time he does it, with no more until he stops messing while feeding.

ICJump · 04/07/2019 08:19

I’m a volunteer breastfeeding counsellor and have fed my two DS
for 4 years each. Helping with breastfeeding “manners” is quite common for counsellors.

Original poster
B3ck89 · 04/07/2019 08:21

Thankyou all for the supportive comments 🙂
I of course am very proud of getting so far still feeding, don’t know why I feel uneasy sometimes.
I remember the first comment had about him being too old, he was 9 months 😂 god knows what she would say if she knew I still am

OP posts:
Original poster
B3ck89 · 04/07/2019 08:22

Breastfeeding manners is definitely something I need help with, he don’t talk yet so it’s so difficult to get him to ask nicely when he’s pulling and my top and shoving his hand down

OP posts:
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