Hi,
I have been quite upset of yet and I feel like I am always making the effort to go and see my parents (who are separated so live separately) and they rarely make the effort to come and see my daughter and I or if they do come over it is literally for half an hour.
I also feel like they are so invested in their own stuff that they don't care what is going on in my life.
I have always had a troubled relationship with my Mum but since my daughter I have forgotten about the past and have made sure that my daughter gets to spend a lot of time with her Grandmother but now that my Mum is busy with work she rarely see's my daughter, possible once a month at best! And that's only because I go and visit her which is around 11 miles away. I suppose I could visit more but with having my dad to visit as well as my grandmother, and my partner's parents while working 2 jobs and studying part time towards a Law degree it's impossible to find the time for everyone!
Anyway, my relationship with my mum is slowly turning sour again, I am civil with her at the moment and actually going to see her this evening but I am so angry with her that I do feel like I want to let her know, but if I did that it would be WW3 because she is so defensive and just flips out if she disagrees with something. Anyway the reason I am angry is that I have just found out she is letting out one of her houses to one of her nephews for free but he is to pay for council tax and water etc. but when I rented this same house off her many years ago I had to pay rent! Only £60 a week but a lot more than what her nephew has to pay. She also has paid for her niece's driving lessons as well as her driving test (multiple times) and she never paid for a single driving lesson for me when I was learning. She has always favoured her "own" family (although I am more than they are) because she hates my Dad's side of the family and I am very close with them, they have never done anything to her, she's just always been bitter towards my Dad. Anyways so there is all that and much deeper, how she has treated me when I was growing up, the horrible personal things she has said to make me cry when I was younger, and the fact she never has the time to talk with me and see how things are going with me, it is always about her.
And now my Dad, he has moved back here a couple of years ago after living over 300 miles away since I was 5 (I'm now 28) and he used to always call to see how I was every couple of days (where my mum might have called twice a year!) but since moving and helping out with his wife's busy company (that I have also helped out with setting it up and helping out with websites) he only seems to care about that. My Grandmother says hat he does care when I speak to her (seems to be the only one who cares!) but the other day he called me to see if I was working the next day as his wife was looking for someone to help and I said that I was working and started to chat about how much I was struggling between 2 jobs he just laughed, not in a nasty way, and said he had to go because his wife wanted something, so all he cared about is if I could work.
Basically I feel like I am making the effort for them to have a relationship with my daughter and there is always something they want a hand with and it is really getting me down. My partner is also a bit messy round the house and forgetful and although I don't shout at him and we don't argue I just feel that he gets the moody me as I am always running around after everyone while feeling down.
Should I cut ties with my parents and let them contact me so I can go back to being the always happy me? At least its just my daughter and my partner who I have to care for then and no one else's stress.
I am so sorry for the very long post, I'm just so upset at the moment I feel like crying every now and again and I have just had enough!