Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed

24 replies

Littleblurry · 03/07/2019 13:23

DS is 2 and has been going to his childminder since he was 9 months old. He loves her and she is generally a good childminder.

Yesterday she announced she would have to take an afternoon off next Tuesday for a school event for her own child. Normally I say no problem for these things but that particular day DH and I both have important things on at work. One of us will have to cancel, which wont look good at short notice and take annual leave.

AIBU to think this is annoying? I get that she might not have known about the event in advance but shouldn't she be asking if it's ok rather than just telling me?

I will have to just suck it up as I dont want to ruin the good relationship with her but do I mention that the short notice is a bit of a problem? Or is this just what I should expect from using a childminder rather than a nursery.

OP posts:

AiryFairyMum · 03/07/2019 13:25

That's just how it is with childminders. Would you rather she missed her child's sports day?

herculepoirot2 · 03/07/2019 13:26

What are the terms of your contract? I used a childminder for a while and she specified in the contract that she would always try to give 3 weeks notice but it wasn’t guaranteed, so I suppose she could have done similar.

simplekindoflife · 03/07/2019 13:29

Could you get around a confrontation by asking her if she knows of anybody else that could cover, as you and your husband have really important days at work and it's left you in a bit of a pickle.

She probably doesn't and you wouldn't want to go with someone you don't know anyway but at least it gets the point across subtlety.

ittooshallpass · 03/07/2019 13:29

There should be something in your contract about how much notice your childminder needs to give you for days off.

Unfortunately this is one of downsides of having a childminder. If they are ill or need time off you have to cover the time. Despite having a good CM it was the main reason I moved DD to a nursery setting.

Fifthtimelucky · 03/07/2019 13:29

Could she take your son with her? She'll presumably take any younger children of her own.

OKBobble · 03/07/2019 13:29

If it was a school event such as a sports day then surely she would just take the minded child along. I assume it will be a play or something where they have specified a set number of tickets or no younger siblings etc. Is there anyone who could mind your child? To be fair my childminder was great and if she ever had anything like this she would arrange cover within a group of childminders.

Whether she is being unreasonable will depend on how much notice she got.

VivienneHolt · 03/07/2019 13:30

I don’t think a week’s notice is especially short, but if your contract is silent on this I would suggest to her that going forward she tries to give you two weeks’ notice where possible.

LadyMinerva · 03/07/2019 13:33

YABU If in all this time she has never had to put her own child before yours.

StealthPolarBear · 03/07/2019 13:34

Why can't she take him with her

FlyingTingTing · 03/07/2019 13:36

YABU

RabbityMcRabbit · 03/07/2019 13:43

She's giving you a week's notice. That's how it is with childminders, and no, she doesn't have to ask you if it's ok

Original poster

Littleblurry · 03/07/2019 13:43

Its not a sports day, DS isn't allowed to go. It's just annoying because there seems to be at least one event every week at the moment- if it was me I would alternate with DH so that I would only have to take half the time off.

OP posts:

Original poster

Littleblurry · 03/07/2019 13:44

Also I still have to pay for the time she has off

OP posts:

Sirzy · 03/07/2019 13:46

I think this is a downside of using a childminder.

But if she is cancelling then you shouldn’t be paying. I would check your contract for that one

Petitprince · 03/07/2019 13:47

Yes, I wouldn't pay for the time not provided.

VladmirsPoutine · 03/07/2019 13:47

Yanbu to feel annoyed but you'd be unreasonable to not understand that these things do happen and whilst inconvenient it is what it is. She looks after your child but the onus is always always always on you to be there for your own child regardless of whatever is going on at work.

Phineyj · 03/07/2019 13:52

Use Sitters as a one off and check your contract. She should make a deal with another childminder to cover these occasions.

999caffeineplease · 03/07/2019 13:52

You definitely shouldn’t be paying for the time she has decided she’s having off at short notice

ThisMustBeMyDream · 03/07/2019 13:53

YANBU. She made a commitment to you and your family. You have a contract. She should be giving adequate notice (1 week won't be enough for an employer to arrange days off or annual leave if you are unable to find alternative arrangements).
As a working parent, I accept that I can not attend all school events. If she can't take her minded children along, IMO she is contracted to your child, and that takes priority.
I certainly wouldn't be paying her for the time off btw.

Original poster

Littleblurry · 03/07/2019 13:58

I'd rather not have him with someone I dont know. I'll take the day as annual leave and take DS out for the day. I'll speak to her about refunding us the money.

OP posts:

herculepoirot2 · 03/07/2019 13:58

You pay for it because she has negotiated paid holiday. Standard TCs with a CM.

herculepoirot2 · 03/07/2019 13:58

Well, with mine it was. Check your contract.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 11/07/2019 20:34

If she has stated in her contract that her leave is paid then you pay her. My CM only bills for hols we take. If she takes a hols we are not billed.

Stripyhoglets · 11/07/2019 20:49

I'd probably start looking for another child minder who is more reliable. She seems to see child minding as a flexible job she can take last minute time off from. Alot of childminders work with freinds to cover situations like this for each other. I'd check.your contract for notice and if you are paying for holidays check.how many days she can take and be paid by you. If shes not given you the contractual.notice I'd say you aren't paying tbh. .

Flip