Being overprotective?

[WindFlower92]

Hi all, first AIBU so be nice please!

I've just had my first child - 4 weeks old! So I'm wanting to ask this on here to check whether I'm being reasonable or too overprotective as it's hard to judge with all the hormones when it's your first. Basically, whenever me and my partner go round someone's house, we take her in the pram. I'm then told that we should leave her in the pram if she's sleeping (that's fine by me!) What I don't like though is that the pram is out of sight - still in the same room but behind me, which I don't like as I prefer to see her. When I say this I just get people rolling their eyes and telling me I'm being over the top. Is this the case do you think?

Another instance is last weekend when we went to a bbq in a public park. All friends/family were sat on the grass in the sun, and pram was pushed to the side in the shade. There were kids that I didn't know running around, as well as obviously lots of strangers as it was a public place. I wanted to stay by the pram, but again I got the impression that I was being over the top and should join the rest of the group. Who is right in this situation? And if it is me being over the top, how do I relax in these kind of situations?

Thanks for any input, perfectly open to being told I'm being crazy!

I would just have the pram beside me at the park. But I think not wanting it behind you in the same room is a bit over the top. But it’s early days- you will get more relaxed, I promise!

In the park situation I'd want baby closer to me, can you detach the top of the pram and put it in ntbe floor more like a moses basket? Hood up away from sun and then umbrella up to give extra shade.

In a house I'd feel a bit odd about baby being shoved in a corner out the way. I assume as in pram you walk not drive? We used the car seat attachment so I'd put car seat by me and leave base out the way altho it depends on how long as thry can't be in case seat for extended periods of course

You're being OTT, provided the pram is in your sight line, its not as if you parked the pram under tree then wandered off 200 yards to put a picnic blanket down; its not as if your friends house is the size of a small stately home and the baby was at the other end of the ball room.

I would think it a bit off, dragging a pram though a house, across carpets/flooring, having been outside, and plonking it in the middle of the room.

Thanks for the replies - the park situation normally would have been fine but I think I was just extra paranoid because of the heat and I wanted her out of it! Will work on the paranoia but just feel that I want a bit more understanding from partner/family about my feelings.

Yanbu. I was the same. It's your baby, do what you feel comfortable with. I embraced my overprotectiveness and didn't let baby out of my sight for weeks, because otherwise I found it very stressful and became very anxious. It eased with time.

Totally normal. People may role their eyes but they have probably forgotten what it's like to be in your situation.

Congratulations

*roll

Having her behind you in the room sounds fine to me (you can hear her after all and it's not like there are strangers about) - the park thing I'd want her in the shade like you of course & want her in my line of sight but not feel the need to sit next to the pram.

Your family could be a little more understanding though that this is your first and you're bound to be a bit more overzealous in the beginning and chill out later on, and keep their eye rolling to themselves.

YANBU, I would always want to be able to see my baby and know she's ok for my own peace of mind. She's your baby, do what you feel is right, let other people roll their eyes if they want!
Congratulations, I think you're doing well to get out to people's houses and park picnics with a 4 week old :-)

Congratulations on your baby!

Only a few weeks ago she was still inside you and you were used to feeling her all the time so it’s an adjustment for both of you having her out in the world. Would you feel comfortable using a sling instead of the pram for some outings?

Thanks for the reassurance guys - I like the sound of a sling!

Get one OP! A friend leant me one and I love it. Hands free, settles the baby and she usually nods off in it. I can smell her tiny head and keep an eye on her. DH loves and uses it too. You’ll find plenty of info on here about them and some people use a sling library where you can try different types out.

It’s normal, yanbu. Such early days! People forget.

YANBU, I think it's a perfectly normal reaction, especially in the very early days before you get desperate for some time on your own.

The first few times we went shopping after having DS, DH was pushing the pram and disappeared from view, and even though rationally I knew everything was fine, I did have a moment of complete panic that DS was out of my sight.

You are being a little bit ott but in all honesty, you shouldn’t ignore your own instincts too much or you’ll confuse yourself! If you want your very little baby in sight all the time, that’s ok for now! You’ll get more confident and chilled as time goes on. Nothing worse than being constantly corrected or laughed at by those around you when you’re trying to figure out what’s what.

I think what you're doing is totally normal. It sounds like you're developing a secure attachment with your baby. Also it's your baby so do what feels right for you and try to ignore other people's unsolicited thoughts.

Normal maternal instinct, I’m the same with my baby and he’s my fourth child. I still have a minor panic if my older children are out of sight sometimes.

When I say this I just get people rolling their eyes and telling me I'm being over the top.
Those people are being jerks. What you are doing is completely normal, especially for the first year when its your first baby.

Do whatever makes you feel comfortable, you are able to question whether you are being ott or not and its unlikely you'll overdo it.