Member of family tearing up photos of me, feeling a bit disturbed

[Thebabyclubonrepeat]

I have name changed for the purpose of this post.

My eldest cousin sent me a picture on WhatsApp, it was a photograph of me when I was a child and it had been ripped up. It had very clearly been torn to shreds on purpose and wasn't the sort of damage one could do by accident. It had been completely destroyed but I recognised it as me because half of my face was visible.

Said cousin has severe MH problems and her condition often results in her demonizing people as a result of the delusions, she will then obsess and plot against the target of her delusions for months until she moves on to something else or gets herself in trouble. It's very sad but she's already receiving all of the help she should be getting.

WIBU to flag this with her MH team as a cause for concern?

I haven't done anything to her other than slow down contact which is only because I have a newborn and am recovering from a traumatic birth. I love her to pieces but she does frighten me when she's not thinking clearly.

Yes, flag this with her mental health team. They should know if your cousin's behaviour is deteriorating.

Oh god, I remember family member scribbling out my face in a family photo and the bewilderment, hurt and disbelief. They'd taken it out of the frame to deface it then put it back in.

Just flag it to MH and take care of yourself and realise it's not because she hates you. You already have an understanding of her illness so better days will prevail (my family member is much better, years on)

I've left a message with a member of her team, this will be the third time I've contacted them in the last 18 month's.

I keep reminding myself that it's the illness and not who she really is, but I also get frustrated because I perceive a risk to myself and my DC as a result of being with me.

She's spent the past year indirectly harassing her on/off partner by making false reports on him to all and sundry, she was hospitalised for a period of time then carried on when she returned home and I can't be doing with any of the same against myself.

Very heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time.

You're definitely not being unreasonable, sounds like it's complete overload for you. We can all get a bit overwhelmed with things we can't control/help

Step away from it for the meantime? You have your own life to lead

Oh crikey, she sounds very unwell poor woman. You have to prioritise your baby and yourself at the moment, much as you clearly sympathise with your cousin.

She has been very unwell for many years sadly.

Her life is a revolving door of hospitals, a brief period of doing better but still in delusions, then hospital again.

I always thought the cocktail of heavy meds she has to take would keep her on an even keel but unfortunately it doesn't and instead of her getting better the MH just intervene and hospitalise her when It gets particularly bad.

She was banging on my door at gone 11pm last year and posting things through the letterbox, I was home alone with my then 6 month old (now I have two) and It was quite frightening.

You can't control her illness and the delusions it causes. All you can control is how much contact you and your DCs have with her, and where possible help her out in the way you have done, by passing on information to her MH team.

Her experience of life sounds horrendous, the poor woman.