To beg for some fucking sleep?

[LonelyAmongUs]

I love my DP, believe me I do. DP is my best friend and I enjoy our time together.

DP is now mid-sixties and retired, I'm in my late thirties and have a reasonably well-paid job. I commute five days a week and I'm up at 5.30am, but DP insists on staying up late watching TV (loudly), sitting on the computer, or rattling around the house leaving lights on. I'm lucky if I get five hours a night of uninterrupted sleep, so often end up dozing on the sofa in the evening. I can't keep this up, we sleep in separate rooms but I hear everything in the house. I've tried earplugs and eye masks but DP still manages to wake me.

AIBU to ask for some consideration when I've gone to bed or am about to? Just even going to bed half an hour earlier would be a start. I expected this from my DS but not a bloody adult.

I was going to say seperate bedrooms but you've already done that. From your updates he is just being a complete dick. Unacceptable. Coming in to talk or get something from the room

As an example, my DH and I work shifts so sleeping patterns vary. But if one is sleeping that's it. Doesn't matter what is in the room, you go without. I once spent half the day commando after I had a shower, DH fell asleep and all my underwear was in the bedroom.

You are in different phases of life. That’s difficult enough, and in 20 years, believe me, it will be a whole lot worse. Been there, done that. In addition, he’s a selfish twat. OP, you have a prime excuse to leave. What are you waiting for?

We lived in a flat for 7 years. DH working nights or getting up at 2am to work. Me in the next room with the TV turned down low or on my phone with headphones and only washing/hoovering when he was up.

It’s was no bother and he should show you the same consideration.

That isn’t even being inconsiderate. It’s worse. He is waking you up ON PURPOSE, repeatedly, night after night.

That's really inconsiderate. Presumably he's got all day to crash around to his heart's content. This would seriously unhinge me.

Has he always done this? How is his behaviour during the day?

If he behaves like this when you are very reasonably trying to sleep I just cannot imagine that he is a kind and lovely person at any other time. Is he? What does he do that makes him a good partner?

Why are you with him???

Pull the duvet off him at 5.30 every morning till he desists.

If my dp called me a bitch I’d leave him, let alone all that other shit. It doesn’t sound like he has any consideration or respect for you. You’ve got a well paid job, leave and get your own place and leave him to it.

I would also wake him at 5.30 each morning and obviously call him names if he complains

It sounds deliberate to me. Sabotaging your sleep so you will fail in some way. Is he harboring some unspoken resentment that you are the money maker? Is he peeved you and he are not alone together all day? Is he jealous you get out and see people/life while he mopes about indoors?
Book a night in a hotel just for yourself. Don't ask his permission or request his approval.

5:30 in the morning. Radio alarm clock. LOUD.
Play the radio in the shower. And sing. Badly.
You also need stuff from his bedroom, turn the lights on and don't turn them off when you bustle out and leave the door open.
Leave the radio on and put on the telly. If you have a smoke alarm cook bacon with the fan off. Then when the smoke alarm beeps run about flapping a tea towel and shouting BUGGER.
When you leave the house shout BYYYEEEEEEEEE and leave everything on. Except the grill.

Or just completely lose your shit at him and suggest separate houses not just bedrooms.

Nice suggestions from loobrush. How about the Boo Radleys' Wake Up Boo played at full volume 6 inches from his head at 5.30am every morning? Sing along.