Not really sure how to start this but here goes. I’m 38 weeks pregnant with my first baby. Have been with my husband nearly 10 years, married nearly 3. It’s not been an easy pregnancy, I’ve had hyperemesis the whole time and been very depressed due to spending so much time at home alone and off work sick. But the end is in sight and just looking forward to baby being here now.
I saw something funny on twitter today and wanted to tag my husband in it. He only got Twitter a few months ago to follow football stuff so I hadn’t actually got him as a follower or anything. Don’t use it much myself either to be honest.
Anyway I looked him up to tag him and noticed the last thing he had commented on was a woman’s profile with a pretty flirty comment. You can probably see where this is going. I had a look through and he’s been leaving flirty comments and liking a load of women’s pictures.
This is a man who never uses Facebook or any social media really, despite having profiles, so never ‘likes’ or comments on anything I post about us or the baby despite me tagging him in them. This has never bothered me before because I just thought he didn’t really use them but continued to tag so he was included when I posted our baby news & so on. He didn’t even have a smart phone until I bought him one a year ago.
But here he is on twitter being a man I don’t recognise at all. He’s tweeted like 800 times in 3 months, mostly football related. I know this all sounds incredibly petty by the way and it’s not as if he has actually cheated or anything. But I feel so vulnerable right now, I’m obviously massive as I’m due in 2 weeks, I look and feel the worst I’ve ever felt about myself due to having spent literally months being sick every day. He’s never been the romantic or overly complimenting type yet he’s on twitter telling women they look gorgeous in their pics (that’s probably the least flirty comment to be honest) etc while I’m sat here feeling horrendous and getting no such comments or attention.
Am I being totally unreasonable to be upset about this? Am I allowed to be unreasonable given I’m heavily pregnant with his child? I confronted him about it and said I didn’t think the comments he were making were appropriate for a married man with a baby on the way and made it clear it had hurt me to see them, even if they were just flirty banter. We’ve never had anything like this in 10 years, I’ve never been the type to worry or not trust, I would never think to check phones or messages etc. But now I don’t know what this will do to me. I don’t want to be some paranoid wreck going forward wondering who he’s talking to and what he’s up to on his phone.He has said he won’t do it again now he knows it upset me and I don’t find it appropriate, but the fact he did it at all still bothers me. We obviously just have a different understanding of what is acceptable behaviour when you’re married, which I always thought we were on the same page about. Of course my crazy brain is rattling ahead of myself wondering what this could lead to in the future.
I know my hormones are all over the place and will be when the baby arrives too. I just don’t know how to get past it. It’s silly but I feel a bit betrayed and humiliated.
Sorry for the long ramble but I don’t have many people to talk to and I just feel very alone and isolated at the minute. Any thoughts would be appreciated.