Feeling pants after miscarriage

[HalloweenLilly]

I had a miscarriage three weeks ago that was surgically treated and I just feel angry, confused and really low. My DH isn't really interested in it and just told me to forget about it. Fair enough but I can't I ended up in a&e a few days later with an infection as there was tissue left behind and I still just feel awful today. I just feel so angry at my DH it was also my birthday at the weekend and he did fuck all for me. I literally got a bar of Cadbury chocolate and a card from the garage! I feel like fucking walking out on him he makes no effort to comfort me or anything. He said I didn't say I wanted anything for my birthday so what do I expect? I just feel like a glorified nanny to be honest I run around after everyone in the family all week and get treated for granted all the time.

Sorry for your loss. Although I have a few kids, I have also had four miscarriages over the years. Like you, I grieved but my husband didn't grieve or really understand, although he was sympathetic for a day or two, after that he didn't understand why I was not getting over it, even though I was angry, hurt and was experiencing a sense of loss. Not eveyone understands but it does not make your loss any less real, you are experiencing all these negative emotions along with the pregnancy hormones still in your system. Be kind to yourself, explain to your husband that although he may not be grieving, you are and that you need support and understanding from him while you process and grieve. He needs to step up. It takes time to accept what has happened. Take care of yourself.

You have my sympathy! You have every right to feel low after a miscarriage, never mind the complications! Reading your post it appears that you already have kids? Have I got that right? Coping with a miscarriage is hard, and it can take time to get over it. If you have other kids already, maybe you could make extra time for cuddles with them, try to do stuff you enjoy and leave household chores; get other family members to help more, especially DH. If this was your first pregnancy, don't despair. It will feel like the end of the world now but there are many of us out here who have experienced miscarriages and who have since carried pregnancies to term. There is hope.
Have you talked to your DH about how he feels about the miscarriage? I'm not making excuses for him not making a fuss of you on your birthday btw but in my experience men can find it very difficult to cope with miscarriage. All the focus is on the woman, especially if there are medical issues, and men can feel left out. It was their baby, too, and they may feel utterly helpless in the situation; guilty for not having been able to do anything to help or to protect you or the baby. And men often find it difficult to get in touch with their emotions let alone verbalise them. So maybe he is just very upset but doesn't want to burden you with his grief on top of your own. Maybe is is an inconsiderate, uncaring shit - hard to tell just from reading your post.
Whatever happens, give yourself time to grieve, look after yourself (it seems that nobody else does ...), ask for help around the house etc., lower your standards for a while, and take each day as it comes.