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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not take part in the mother's race at sports day?

145 replies

nanbread · 02/07/2019 19:46

My 6 year old has asked if I will take part in the mums race, he's very keen that I do. I want to model giving things a go and trying my best even if I'm not the best, as it's something that he struggles with, I also want to encourage him to be more sporty and active.

The problem is I am deeply unfit, I've only run for the bus in the last 20 years, and will probably come last. I don't really want to humiliate myself in front of the entire school year...

WWYD / AIBU?

OP posts:
Oblomov19 · 02/07/2019 21:18

I've always run, in the Mother's Day run. I always come completely middle. Good enough for me. Ds2 loves that I do it.

Last few years it's been stopped. Fuckers!! GrinWink

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2019 21:21

If you run, come last, and model being an excellent loser, it will go much further than refusing.

I took up running three years ago and am shockingly slow and shit. But DD learns from me that it's about improving MY time, not beating other people. It's about getting fitter and happier for ME not to look good to others. She is happier to run with me, knowing she's better than me.

elizzza · 02/07/2019 21:24

You’re a grown up so you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But if you do think it’s important to show him that taking part is what counts, then you do need to show him that rather than just giving lip service to the idea.

You’ve said you don’t want to humiliate yourself in front of the entire school year - you’ve internalised the idea that having a go at something and coming last is inherently humiliating. It might help to try to break down that thought process. Why would that be humiliating? What’s embarrassing about running slowly? If you can do it, come last, and then high five him with a big smile and say “that was fun!” you’ll be doing an amazing thing for his sense of what’s important and what’s “embarrassing”.

rslsys · 02/07/2019 21:24

Went to DGD1's sports day last week as both her parents were working.
All school staff in tracksuits plus 4 other random Women in sports attire who I could not place.
All became clear just before Mum's race when the 4 randoms did extensive warm-ups, jogging, stretching etc before lining up on the start line with 4 other 'ordinary' mums.
Race was won by a mum in jeans and a cardigan who just got up from her chair and joined the line a few seconds before the start . .

stoplickingthetelly · 02/07/2019 21:26

If it’s anything like my dcs school I wouldn’t do it in a million years. Not that many mums enter - probably less than 10 and they are super, super competitive. They arrive at sports day in full running gear especially for this race. Then they spend ages warming up on the side lines.

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 02/07/2019 21:31

I didn't run in the mums race this year for my 5 year old.

I know he was upset with me (although I did help his little brother in the toddler race and that cheered him up).

The thing is I fell over during last year's race. I say fall but that doesn't quite do it justice. DS3 was only a few weeks old and I had pushed myself to get back to 'normal' as quickly as possible. About 5 seconds into the race one of my legs completely gave way from under me and I did an actual flip in the air. Have never been so embarrassed in my life. Covered in cuts and bruises and managed to rip my trousers.

So from my point of view YANBU but obviously I'm biased.

Laiste · 02/07/2019 21:32

I will not be running. I shall be modeling 'Not Caving in to Pressure to Please Everyone Else'.

with a side order of 'Fuck What Other People Think' Grin

edwinbear · 02/07/2019 21:32

I’ve had prolapse surgery so have a lifelong sick note for running. But I think if you can steal yourself to do it, and if you do come last make a joke about it, with arms up etc so people are laughing with you, not at you, your DS will be so proud he has the fun Mum, rather than the fit one.

MrsTerryPratchett · 02/07/2019 21:33

Surely stop it would be great to do it then. Kids are internalising that sports are for fit people. If you aren't good, don't try. I mean I would get a couple of normy mums to join me and run it as a laugh, wait for the slowest, cross the line together, cheer each other. Show the kids what the bloody thing is supposed to look like.

Starlight456 · 02/07/2019 21:33

We had a mum . Really good runner . Won the infants and junior mums race ( she had children in both )

The mutterings from the competitive mums was hilarious.

We also had a dad break a collar bone they did egg and spoon race for parents next year

Inmyvestandpants · 02/07/2019 21:33

Do it! If you are lucky, there will be more than one race to accommodate numbers, and you should aim for the last one when all the reluctant, pregnant and lame Mums give in to peer pressure and do it. You might do better than you think.

OnMyWhistle · 02/07/2019 21:33

I am v disappointed that they don’t do parents races at our school sports day. I’m quite good at sprinting and would love a go!
OP if you don’t want to then don’t - you want to be able to enjoy the occasion without worrying about your own race!

Vulpine · 02/07/2019 21:36

Make it a goal to get fit for next year

edwinbear · 02/07/2019 21:38

At DSis’s DC’s school they had a proper stewards enquiry when one of the nannies ran in the mum’s race in loco parentis and won, there was outrage from the competitive mums who deemed her ineligible.

SudowoodoVoodoo · 02/07/2019 21:39

My DCs love me doing it... they hope I'll end up going arse over tits like I did a couple of years ago. After I'd worked out which way was up and picked myself up, I was last, but it was a lesson in carrying on after a setback... which is ironic after my own sportsday childhood experience Grin

At least I live in my activewear anyway. It seems that the way to win is to wear a skirt or be barefoot due to unsuitable shoes 😂

SushiForAmateurs · 02/07/2019 21:43

I'm so glad our school didn't make parents race.

If you do have to do it, just jog - don't race and take it uber seriously.

Everyone's rolling their eyes at the Mums who do take it super seriously. Turning up in all the gear, stretching and warming up, and then defeating a load of people who couldn't actually give a shit.

bellinisurge · 02/07/2019 21:46

I have MS - it's an invisible condition on me. I did it for a laugh. Did pretty well I'm proud to say.

MadameJosephine · 02/07/2019 21:46

I always hated sports day but thankfully DD's school doesn’t have a parents race. They do have a senior girls against mums tug of war though which is always good fun. They also have senior boys against dads.

Paraballa · 02/07/2019 21:48

I always come last even though I run as fast as I can. My kids love that I try and model the whole taking part thing as they both come last too. We are just not sporty people. I'd just jog it OP and make a joke of it.

Thatsashame · 02/07/2019 21:49

I'm rubbish at running. And really wanted to do this for my son at sports day as he begged me. But unfortunately he was poorly so we missed it. Plan to do it next year even though i would be mortified!

Whoops75 · 02/07/2019 21:50

Ignore the full kit wankers and make your kid proud x

TheBrockmans · 02/07/2019 21:51

My dc see not having to run in sports day as one of the perks of adulthood. I wouldn't want to destroy this view for them. Am also medically not fit to run. Fortunately at the last sports day it was a family member and child race. Now I realise that this is probably to account for all the diversity of family structures with grandparent carers, aunts, etc but my teenager is definitely also a family member so she ran with the youngest.

Abergavennie · 02/07/2019 21:54

There’s not a chance in hell I’d do that. You certainly don’t have to.

BubblesBuddy · 02/07/2019 21:55

At schools where my DC went, both independent and state, the ones who showed off all the time did it. They didn’t just wear spirts gear for sports day, they wore it all the time as they were always playing something or running. They had sporty kids so it was their big day. The rest of us ignored them. In one dads race they started pushing and shoving near the end of the race and it nearly ended in a fight. The usual macho suspects. Honestly, your DS won’t be scarred for life. Get involved with something you can do. Sport isn’t for everyone.

Even an ex international runner and coach took part at DDs old secondary school sports day to support his future junior world champion DD no doubt - or maybe because he knew he would win by a mile! He might as well have run in his own. Utterly pointless and showing off in the extreme!

Huntlybyelection · 02/07/2019 21:56

Not RTFT but...

If you don't want to do it then don't do it.

I did it when DC1 was in primary 1. I came 4th. The first 3 across the line were all wearing running kit! I was in jeans.

This year, various friends were trying to get excuses out (too hot, too injured, had another child to look after) and they all turned to me to see if I was doing it.

"No," I said "I'm not doing it. Because I don't want to"

Just tell your child that you aren't going to run it because you can't run very fast and you don't want to take part.

All this pressure to join in and do the mummy run. Fuck. That. Shit.