To ask what age a child should say thank you

[PinkGlitter123]

For a Birthday gift off his own back without being prompted/reminded

My 2 Yr old will say thank you most times but with a present is likely to forget due to the excitement. I would say from 5 but I wouldn't be upset if a parent had to do a gentle 'what do you need to say?' up to about 10? Depending on child and situation
However my 19yr old neice has had expensive gifts from us, knows they have cost in terms of time and money and we have watched her open presents and not had a thank you for the past few years.
Which makes me think she's a rude madam who won't get further gifts or any that take an effort

Yeah, there's a big difference between remembering to say thank you when handed a gift in person and remembering when you randomly see that person weeks later. I mean, I'd be expecting them to send a thank you letter/email/text when they got the present, but I wouldn't expect them to bring it up next time I saw them.

Depends how they’ve been raised. My neices and nephews have been saying it unprompted since 2.

If something is just social grease does it mean anything? I'd only want a genuine thanks if someone meant it.

I'd want a thanks for having bought them a gift, whether they liked the item or not. You won't be doing your kids any favours if you teach them only to think of 'thank you' in terms of how they feel about a present rather than the giver's feelings.

Maybe forgot that I had given her a present (It was a few days ago.). Just surprised as she was talking about her other gifts to me that she had received.

If the 8 year old has received loads of gifts it's quite likely she just didn't remember that one of the gifts had been from you.

It’s hard to put an age on saying it without being promoted as kids can get overwhelmed and sometimes forget to say it when actually they are over the moon and may need a few minutes to process their emotions.

I think kids need to be encouraged to say thank you when they learn to talk though.

prompted

Why Ta and not thank you?

I’m awful for not even giving mine the chance to say thank you. As soon as someone gives them something I say ‘what do you say?’ just so we don’t ever get to the place they’ve forgotten to and I need to look like a dick-mun

dick-mum*

Ta, should be one of their first words

I’ve never once said ‘ta’ to my children, and they’ve never said it either.
We just use ‘thank you’.

I'd probably have to prompt my 7 year old tbh and she's very polite (saying please and thank you) - a present would be unexpected for her and she'd probably be a bit stunned or shy.

My 11 yo would require no prompting.

(and as for ta! my dcs never said that. Thank you is very sweet from a toddler).

If it was a few days ago then I'd say this is normal at 8yo. Completely different from handing it to her in person and not receiving a thank you.

I would say at 8 if it's been a birthday or something and a lot of gifts have been received its easy to lose track. If she's normally a polite and thankful type of girl i wouldn't think too much of it. If she's talking about her gifts and coming across as entitled then maybe

For those asking why “ta”, it’s not a word I’d ever use, and I hated it when our nanny started teaching it to my pre-verbal children. BUT I quickly realised it’s the path to “thank you” when they couldn’t yet say the whole thing. It’s not “tar”, it’s “tah”, which quickly became “takoo” and then “tankyoo” and so on. Pretty effective, glad I kept my mouth shut at the time.

my child is 5 and says please and thank-you's - she knows what it means now she's older.

Mine picked up ‘thank you’ very quickly (albeit more like ‘tankoo’). Teaching them ‘ta’ instead would have maybe got them saying it a week or so earlier. Then I’d have had to say ‘actually it’s thank you, not ta’.

My two year old would say it unprompted. I would probably have to remind my 5 year old.

When given a present, he goes really shy and would just take it and look at the floor until you say ‘what do you say to x’

He’s got no problem thanking people in shops, bus drives, us when we give him something big presents really seem to make him quiet.

My two year old would thank you for giving him a cold unprompted 🙄

Alll my dc thanked the midwife for cutting their umbilical cord. The youngest even presented her with a thank you card and a tasteful bouquet from Waitrose.

soydora my point was, we never had to say “actually it’s thank you” because it happened naturally. I can’t have made myself clear.

RiddleMeThis2018 fab!

Maybe forgot that I had given her a present (It was a few days ago.). Just surprised as she was talking about her other gifts to me that she had received.

Well, in that scenario, I presume she would presume that you already knew what you had bought her, and she was telling you what else she had received.

Why Ta and not thank you?

I presume you are being deliberately obtuse. It would take something to not understand that a non-verbal person is going to find it a LOT easier to say one syllable rather than 2, to say a "t" sound rather than a "th" sound, which doesn't develop until much later; etc etc.