Birthday letdowns

[brotown]

My brothers birthday.
My son (11) has remembered that my brother didn't bother coming to his birthday dinner or my birthday. No good excuse, just actually couldn't make the effort.
My son doesn't want to go to brothers birthday dinner, he wants to go an see Spider-Man, Marvel fanatic.
Is he being unreasonable?

If I'm honest I'm miffed with brother as I make a huge effort for his kids birthdays.

Good for your son.
I don’t blame him.
Stop making a fuss for his kids birthdays too.

Tbh I can see his point however I think you are setting a very bad president of if I don’t want to do something I can get a big treat for me.

I also don’t think 11 years old get to choose.

Absolutely agree with your son.No need to go to this dinner, go something fab instead !

I'd be more than happy to go for the marvel film

I think he's bang on, nothing to do with presents, the fact he's also mentioned your brother didn't bother on your birthday either

Good lad

Stop making a fuss for his kids birthdays too.

What have the nephews/neices done to deserve being ignored?

Its all sounds pathetically childish actually. This is how family arguements and fallouts escalate.

Funny enough, he's a child, so yes, childish

Tempting as it is to troop off to see the film, I would still take DS to DB's birthday dinner this year, "two wrongs don't make a right".
Did you point out the difference between how you treat the cousin's birthday to your DB at the time?

Explain to your son that relationships are not business transactions. They don't work if everyone is constantly keeping count, paying back tit for tat, having to earn their place in the family. The reason you are all going to your brother's birthday is not because of anything he has done or not done, but because you love him and want to celebrate with him.

Yes, tit for tat, that's the expression I was looking for.
That's what I think Bridget
But I do think he's got a point and he was a bit upset, he didn't say anything at the time, as I didn't about mine, and no I didn't mention it to brother. We have celebrated together in previous years, but I would never miss his kids birthdays.

Also, if it didn't clash with Spider-Man he probably wouldn't have said anything, it's just cos there's something else he'd rather do.