Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be wobbling over this camhs assessment

14 replies

Tinytomato2 · 01/07/2019 18:29

Just need a hand hold please!

Earlier this year dd age 7 started behaving strangely. She started having aggressive outbursts at home, scratching her hands til they bled, washing her hands every time I made any normal physical contact with her (eg cutting her nails) and at bedtime she had to have the blanket completely flat saying we had to kiss her goodnight an even number of times not an odd number. She also developed a fear of anyone seeing her "boobs" or underwear and wouldn't go out unless every inch of her was completely covered, even on hot days. She also started wanting to avoid her hobbies and birthday parties etc. and had occasional panic attacks at night about me or her dad dying.

We talked to her school and they said they hadn't noticed anything and weren't particularly helpful. I felt like they thought we were inventing a problem. We spoke to our doctor in the end who recommended a referral to camhs. The camhs appointment has finally come through months later. We have battled this ocd or whatever it is for months now and have made lots of headway. The clothes issue is still there but we have had to put our foot down and insist she can't wear long sleeves and tights on a hot day and she's starting to dress a little more "normally" although it's a battle. She's back to being more sociable and doesn't scratch herself anymore. We do have odd episodes of her losing her temper and hitting us but no panic attacks for months.

I was so close to cancelling the camhs appointment but I have kept it because I'm worried things could get worse again. I'm really worried about it though. I know she's going to hate going, clam up and I worry it could be raking over it all again and set her back when she's doing better. Is there anyone with experience of this who can advise? I just want someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing I guess!!

OP posts:
youarenotkiddingme · 01/07/2019 18:36

Keep it.

The issues haven't gone away you've just worked very hard to manage them.

But parents aren't psychologists . It's worthwhile a professional having a look at the situation and to either confirm you're doing the right thing or advise.

Good luck. You're DD is lucky to have you on her side and working so hard to get her healthy again.

Stompythedinosaur · 01/07/2019 18:39

Have the CAMHS appointment. You don't make people with mh issues worse by asking about them, I promise. If she has buried things for a bit, they are still likely to come back out. It would be really good for her to be able to talk about her experiences.

NoBaggyPants · 01/07/2019 18:49

I was very similar to your daughter at that age and I have autism. My parents tried to make me act more "normal" and I became very good at masking things, but the issues were still there and I didn't get diagnosed until adulthood. I wish I'd had the support earlier on.

It may not be autism. It may not be anything at all. Given how overstretched CAMHS are, she may be discharged with no further action irrespective of her difficulties. But you'd be doing your child a disservice if you didn't take the opportunity for her to be professionally assessed.

InvisibleHamster · 01/07/2019 18:49

It's better to stay in the system I think. We were seen after a long wait by the school nursing team for my son's sleep issues (after doctors > cahms > referral to school) and by the point he was seen he was a lot better. But it made him more confident about talking about his issues (they talk to him one-on-one). At it's worst I think it would've been harder. Now if it escalates again at least he's being seen.

Imustbemad00 · 01/07/2019 18:52

I’m so so sorry to suggest this, and it might sound extreme. I work with children and my first thought, was couldnshe have been abused or been through something traumatic? Bereavement ect.

notlyndasnell · 01/07/2019 18:57

Keep the appointment. She is clearly struggling with something and a bit of support may help her deal with it or at least find ways to verbalise it so you can support her better. Good luck!

Feelingwalkedover · 01/07/2019 19:06

Take another adult with you ,then your daughter sees the dr briefly ,and then goes out to your other adult while you talk to dr in peace ,and without her hearing.
My son sees camhs regularly every 3 months ,if I haven’t an adult he brings his I pad and headphones so he can listen when needed .
I found he pretty early on he gets distressed to hear me talking about him

Tinytomato2 · 01/07/2019 19:48

Imustbemad00 I can see why you would think that so please don't worry about suggesting it. I'm with her when she's at home so it would have had to have happened at school. I think something at school must have triggered it but I can't imagjne what.

OP posts:
Tableclothing · 01/07/2019 19:50

You need to keep the appointment. Obviously no one can diagnose over the 'net but what you describe in your op is not inconsistent with ocd. If she has ocd, it isn't just going to go away.

Most kids are nervous before a camhs appointment, but they tend to leave fairly happy.

Tableclothing · 01/07/2019 19:51

Um, for a given value of happy. I'm not saying one appointment fixes things, just that camhs staff are used to working with children.

Tinytomato2 · 01/07/2019 19:52

Thank you all for your feedback. I feel much better about keeping the appointment. Back in February I was desperate for help and you're right to suggest that she may just be masking it better as opposed to being cured. The scratching suggests something was worrying her and I would like to know what it was but I accept I may never fully know. There is a part of me that is afraid of going and opening a can of worms but if it's what is best for her then of course I will do it.

OP posts:
Chancewouldbeafinethlng · 01/07/2019 19:52

Absolutely go ahead with it. Unfortunately she is going to have situations in life she finds uncomfortable, but if she can get a diagnosis whilst young it’s going to save her a lot of time as an adult wondering why she is like she is.
Having a diagnosis won’t really change anything but it opens up many new opportunities, there are groups for children with the same diagnosis, medications, counselling. I think just knowing you can say “I have X which is why I think like Z” can be very reassuring for people that aren’t NT.

And I’m saying all this as someone who discovered she had adhd at 30 years old Grin

Tinytomato2 · 02/07/2019 06:46

Thank you that's very reassuring.

OP posts:
stucknoue · 02/07/2019 07:03

Keep the appointment, tell them all the issues from the start and the measures in place to mitigate. Expect them to want to speak to your child alone (in my experience they never spoke to me alone as someone suggested here). It was a dr and a nurse for our initial assessment and lasted an hour. If no immediate help is needed ask for her case to be left open so if things deteriorate you can call camhs directly

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.