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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my dog is unusual (and to be upset about it?)

42 replies

3GreenFrogs · 01/07/2019 17:11

I have very few friends and consider my dog to be my best friend. I give him lots of attention, I’m the one who walks him twice a day etc and I always have time for him.

However - whenever I get back off holiday he doesn’t seem arsed! There is no fussy greeting, no wavy tail or excitement - he acts like he doesn’t really know me. In fact - if I was to walk in with a stranger he’d be more excited by the stranger than me!

He’s always been like this. He’s only 3 years old so for the first year or so I assumed it was just because he was young. Then second year I thought he really should feel some attachment by now and now he’s 3 I’m getting a bit upset about it! (Ridiculous I know but my dog means everything to me)

I’ve just got home from a 5 days away. Thought about him every day and couldn’t wait to see him. I envisioned a fussy dog greeting me when he realised I was home and instead I got a quick sniff and then he walked off!

Is it the breed or what?? (French bulldog) as I’ve never known a dog act like this and I’ve had a few dogs in my time.

I’m getting another dog in a couple of months (a boxer) and I’m secretly hoping that this one at least gives a shit about whether I’m here or not!

It is unusual, isn’t it?

OP posts:

RelaisBlu · 01/07/2019 18:24

If you think that's bad, try having a cat!

missbattenburg · 01/07/2019 18:26

Only gone a few hours = wiggly, wriggly greeting but NOTHING like the greetings that guests get which is full on crying and jumping up (or would be, if he was allowed)

Gone for more than that = total blanking when I get home. Literally a half-hearted sniff and then walk off.

He's just in denial. I walk, play, train and feed him. He cries when I am not there. I MUST be the best person in world. It's just the emotion of seeing me again after a long absence is too much for him . Like a parent who's pissed off when you come in after a night out and they've been worried sick.

HUZZAH212 · 01/07/2019 18:27

Yep my dog races off with the kennel staff without even a backward glance. Last time we picked her up she wandered past us and then didn't want to get in the car 😑

KarmaStar · 01/07/2019 18:32

Perhaps he is sulking and 'not talking to you'?😊
At least you don't need to worry about separation anxiety op.
I'm sure he loves you and is very happy you are home,he just chooses not to show it.
We my first paragraph,a friend's dog was so fed up she went on holiday without him he literally turned his back on her for ages and refused to respond to her for ages!was in a real sulk for days.
Give him a cuddle .🌼

dottiedodah · 01/07/2019 18:36

They tend to sulk a little at first TBH!.All my dogs have been like this On my 3rd one now!.Try not to take it personally !.

fleshmarketclose · 01/07/2019 18:42

I think it's better that way tbh. My dog won't eat or come out from under my bed if I'm not home and I hate that she is really unhappy in spite of the rest of the family being here to comfort her.

MrsDimmond · 01/07/2019 18:56

I don't think your dog is at all unusual!

I saw an episode of Judge Judy where there was a dispute over who owned a dog and she settled it by letting the dog off the lead for it to go to choose who to go to. Dd and I fell about because we know our gorgeous dog would choose a stranger over us anyday!!

It doesn't mean he doesn't adore us (well dd anyway, I'm just the one who feeds and takes care of him ..)

akmum18 · 01/07/2019 19:00

He’s used to you doing everything so you’re not new and exciting unfortunately and also you ‘abandoned’ him in his eyes. He still loves you dogs are just funny creatures

TremblingFanjo · 01/07/2019 19:16

One of our cats loves DD. Is besotted with her, will follow her around, demand to go in her room, stare lovingly at her - the works. DD is constantly shooing her away and has never fed her in her entire life. She has done nothing to deserve this. It will also pop out of thin air and jump onto DH's lap when he sits down.

I am not allowed to touch the cat. The cat hates me.

I do everything for the cat. I feed it, I buy it the only food it'll eat. I buy it beds and move them in front of the radiator or where the sun shines in. It'll watch me do that, and spend hours in the best sleeping position ever. It still hates me.

VampirateQueen · 01/07/2019 19:39

My late cat always did this, my current cat is more like a dog and greets us at the door. It isn't that he isn't happy you are home, it is that he has the hump with you for going in the first place 😂

Dec2019mumtobe · 01/07/2019 20:47

I have two dogs. One is like this and the other is the total opposite.

I prefer the behaviour of the one who doesn't give a shit! A little sniff, a wag of the tail and that's that. The other one is just batshit excited.

sweetkitty · 01/07/2019 20:52

My dog is the opposite, she’s going away tonight for a week to a friends house she’s been loads of times. She will go insane when she next sees me and will be so clingy it’ll be unbearable. This is our first holiday since we got 2 new cats, I’m expecting sulking

MQv2 · 01/07/2019 21:34

My dog adores me, he's like my shadow in the house.

But he's always in a pisser with me when we get back from holidays.
Sulks for the day to punish us for going away

sweetkitty · 01/07/2019 22:01

I’m just back from dropping DDog off oh she was not happy, she knew exactly what was going on, even though she’s staying with her bestie dog pal for a week and adores my friend and her family, she was definitely not happy with me.

When we get back friends dog then comes to ours for a fortnight, he’s so laid back he doesn’t care, his owners will get a wag and that’s about it.

TheZazous · 01/07/2019 22:04

Some dogs sulk...one of my cats sulks and gives me the cold shoulder when I've been away

tabulahrasa · 01/07/2019 22:09

My last dog didn’t ever make a fuss when I came back whether I’d been gone an hour or a weekend... but did when DP or the DCs did - I just got a sort of, well of course you came back, you always do sort of reaction.

Of all the dogs I’ve ever owned though, he’s the one I had the closest bond with, he had some pretty major health issues I’d nursed him through and some behavioural issues that meant I was working with him a lot more than you’d usually have to, so I’m pretty sure it wasn’t lack of affection on his part.

I know he was a bit lost when I was away and he just had the rest of the family, so he did miss me...

I think there was just never any doubt on his part that I’d be back.

Bunnybigears · 01/07/2019 22:15

My dog is a rescue dog from Romania, he basically lives upstairs, he comes down when he wants food or a walk. To be honest it would have been easier to get a cat (at least I wouldnt have to go for walks in the rain) I still love him to bits and enjoy his company (when I go to bed and we are in the same room) Family is family even when they dont act exactly as we would like them to.

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