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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Autistic 7 yr old in a taxi

98 replies

saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 14:27

I have previously posted before about my son who is five at the moment and has autism.
He is currently attending a special needs school which is really close to our house which is very lucky and it's only a three minute drive and maximum 10 minute walk however they can only attend to the school until year two which means my son has one more year left after this school year ends . Last night myself and my husband were discussing the next move and it is likely that next year as he enters year two and is seven in the September he will attend a special needs school that is around about a 15 minute drive away it wouldn't be possible to walk it I was suggesting that I would drop my other kids off to school early at breakfast clubs and then drive him to his school after so nobody was late and I can ensure my children are safe. However my husband deems this ridiculous,To put things in perspective I have a large family my husband works and I have children at secondary school children at primary and then my son who can't attend that same primary so goes to a special needs school. My husband is suggesting that my autistic son gets a taxi to school as the local authority to provide them to families and many children at his current school get them (even some of them who are only children with parents who don't work, don't even get me started on that) now I have an issue with this as I have noticed that some of the children who get a taxi to school at the moment are not chaperoned. I rang the local authority to enquire about it to solidify my fears and I was right they are not chaperoned.I don't see any problem with having to stretch my morning routine and start earlier if it ensures my sons safety, at the end of the day my children are my priority but my son is an extra priority as he is vulnerable he is non-verbal. I know it's unlikely but if a child is in a taxi with a stranger that they don't know there is a risk of anything happening and my son would not be able to communicate this with me, my husband however thinks I'm being ridiculous,he says these people are professionals and that nothing would happen to our son. So I guess I'm asking do you think I'm being unreasonable my husband seems to think that I I'm putting autistic sons needs above of the children's needs.

OP posts:
GiggleMcDimples · 01/07/2019 20:29

Good luck with getting a taxi if that's what you decide on.
My sister has fought every step of the way to get my nephew a taxi. She had to take my nephew with autism (8) on 6 buses a day to get him to and from school. That's 12 buses a day for her and my other nephew (3). It was hell getting him the taxi. They finally agreed to it a few months ago as it's the ONLY suitable school in his statement. And now they've informed her they're taking the transport away again in September.
She's fought so hard and can't get him what he needs.

EggysMom · 01/07/2019 20:31

I wouldnt' be happy sending our son in a taxi without a chaperone, he's lively and needs to be encouraged to stay in his seat Grin He goes on a minibus with 6 other children and an escort.

Baritriwsahys · 01/07/2019 20:36

The taxi driver that took my DD to school had considerably more experience with children with complex needs than I had as he’d been taking them too and from school every day for over a decade.

That's one taxi driver. One example. One.

saraclara · 01/07/2019 20:42

What's your problem with children whose parents don't work, being entitled to a taxi?

If you have more than one child, and one of them is at a special school, it's impossible to be in two places at once in the morning. And often the special school is quite a distance out of the mainstream catchment area.
Every child at the school I worked at got transport provided for that reason. Parents put the SN child on the taxi/minibus and took the other child/children to school. And we were a 5-11 school so younger children than yours.

parrotonthesofa · 01/07/2019 20:46

I'm actually in your situation in that my soon to be seven year old non verbal autistic + other learning difficulties son is starting a special school in September. There are taxis laid on but no chaperones. I am not entirely happy with this obvs but we are abroad and it is the norm. I am gonna drop him in the morning at first at least and put other children in breakfast club but I am allowing him to be brought home in the taxi after school as otherwise I would have to put the others In After school school which seems unfair. I feel like if he had a bad journey at least I will be there to deal with it when he arrives home rather than arriving at school distressed. Not ideal but I feel I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Anxietyqueen1987 · 01/07/2019 20:56

Check with the school or the LA amd see if they do transport. My daughter will be starting a specialist school in September and they have Mini buses that pick the children up and drop them off.

imsuchagrump · 01/07/2019 21:04

You need to contact your local authority regarding transport . My son is also autistic and goes to a special school . He's had transport since nursery as his school is 20 minutes drive away it is chaperoned as it wouldn't be safe for him or the driver without one .
I have had to reapply when he went to a new school and I will need to reapply next year when he is 16 .

londonrach · 01/07/2019 21:09

Op..you need to talk to your la. In mine..you get a taxi driver and another person who has experience with pupils with needs similar to your dc. Its vvv common for taxis at special need schools

Baritriwsahys · 01/07/2019 21:11

Can people stop suggesting OP rings her local authority...

I rang the local authority to enquire about it to solidify my fears and I was right they are not chaperoned

From the very first post.

Sockwomble · 01/07/2019 21:12

Anyone who begrudges children with sn getting transport to school or anything else that makes their or their families lives easier, needs to have a word with themselves.

Sockwomble · 01/07/2019 21:16

The local authority cannot say no child can have a chaperone. That would be unlawful.
I know children who would thumping each other, hitting the driver or trying to climb out of the car window if they didn't have a chaperone.

maddiemookins16mum · 01/07/2019 21:24

Our neighbours’ wee lad gets collected every morning by taxi with the same escort, she waves to me daily.

saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 21:30

Hi @parrotonthesofa you have my love and best wishes xxxx

OP posts:
Iggly · 01/07/2019 21:31

Yet another example of today's SEND Crisis where local government is putting vulnerable children at risk in order to protect their budget

Bit harsh. Local authorities have had massive cuts by central government

saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 21:33

@saraclara can you read?! my son is 5 at the moment.I think if a parent has one child and doesn't work there is rarely an excuse to not get them to school actually.Read my post then type.

OP posts:
saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 21:34

For the record my child WILL NOT be getting a taxi.I was asking if i was being unreasonable.

OP posts:
saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 21:35

I knew what you meant @arethereanyleftatall and i agree x

OP posts:
saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 21:43

@eggsandwich May i just say i didn't say all SAHM shouldn't use taxis,but those with one child i find it confusing they'd choose an unchaperoned taxi over taking there own child.I said 'an only child'

OP posts:
saffy1234 · 01/07/2019 21:44

Your poor sister @GiggleMcDimples ,give with one hand take with the other.

OP posts:
Proseccoinamug · 01/07/2019 21:48

If he can’t travel safely without a chaperone you need to insist that the LA provide one.

My autistic child travels by taxi to school unchaperoned but is safe to do so. The taxi driver is fully vetted and is the same one every day so my child knows him well, as do the others who use the same taxi. My child is verbal.

They do provide an escort if children are assessed as needing one.

LuaDipa · 01/07/2019 21:49

I wouldn’t have wanted either of my dc with no sen in a taxi on their own at age 7 if there was any way I could have taken them. Yanbu.

saffy1234 · 02/07/2019 06:51

Thankyou @LuaDipa x

OP posts:
parrotonthesofa · 14/07/2019 20:23

Thanks for your best wishes, OP. I've just seen this now. Trying not to worry about it!

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