To have kept out of it?

[TulipsTulipsTulips]

I'm interested to know whether mumsnetters think I did the right thing here...

This morning I dropped my 4 year old DD at nursery. She had drawn a picture to show her class and was proud to show it to her friends. She showed it to two boys that she often plays with. They kept saying to her that 'it's just scribble' and that it wasn't very good. I felt a bit gutted for her, but she seemed to take it on the chin. My heart wanted to tell the boys that it was unkind of them to say it was just scribble, but kept my mouth shut as I didn't want to be a helicopter parent. I think I did the right thing but would be interested to hear if any mums would have acted differently in that situation.

Also - I realise this is not a huge deal at all, just a very tiny probably normal incident. I'm only posting out of interest, not because this is something that will keep me awake at night!

Hmmm I can see your reasoning, as you want kids to be resilient, but I think teaching kindness is also important so I'd probably have said something to them like "that's not very kind to say" or something along those lines

Nahhh I’m one of those mums who would have said “Oh dear darling, I think it’s lovely and not everyone is very kind” and stared the little fuckers down 😂

And no, I wouldn’t care that they were only 4 either

Same as PP.

I’d have probably said something along the lines of ‘[daughter] put a lot of effort into those and I think she’s done really well’.

If that makes me a ‘helicopter parent’ then so be it. Labels are essentially meaningless anyway. I’m not going to watch my child be made to feel stupid and say nothing.

Nahhh I’m one of those mums who would have said “Oh dear darling, I think it’s lovely and not everyone is very kind” and stared the little fuckers down

Yeah, I’d have complemented my comment with a long, hard ‘’ face in their direction too

You weren't seriously expecting four-year-olds to make a reasoned judgement?

Come off it.

oh I'm wishing I'd said something now! Kicking myself a bit.

Maybe chat to DD about it? Maybe it doesn't bother her, she could have great confidence! If it does bother her I'd let her know all that matters is if she likes the drawing and it could also be a teachable moment about being kind to others? I don't think there is a gold standard way to approach these things, though it is tempting sometimes to tell kids to stop being jerks

@Jemima232

"You weren't seriously expecting four-year-olds to make a reasoned judgement?"

I wasn't expecting any type of reasoned judgment from the 4 year olds. If she'd been upset then I would have handled it differently, but she didn't seem fussed. This seemed like a bit of a grey area to me. From reading these posts I think I was a little too careful not to intervene and I'll be more inclined to go with my gut next time.

Full Paddington!
Don't beat yourself up, you did the best with what you had at the time - that's all we can ever do!
Now, next time the boys have artwork on the walls, be sure to critique them appropriately!

I'd have said "well I think it's fabulous" and looked at them with my aghast look.

The children were acting as typical 4 year olds.

Did you really expect them to critic your daughter's art work?

If you had said anything to them then you would have been as rude as you perceived them to be.

I would have just said, I love it and left it at that, because they are just 4.

@Geminijes

"Did you really expect them to critic your daughter's art work?"

No, I didn't expect my DD's friends to critique her art work. All the kids at this nursery take home a workbook for the weekend, then show it to the class during 'circle time' at the start of the week. When we arrived I took it out of her bag and suggested she take it over to her teacher. Instead she took it over to the boys who made the comments.

Just explain to her that there are silly children who say nasty things to try to upset people and the best reply is “I don’t care what you say”