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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think people who exercise excessively are boring and quite selfish

87 replies

rosesaremyfavouriteflower · 01/07/2019 11:59

I have a couple of friends who cycle a lot. By that I mean all school day on their days off work (work part time) plus at least 2 evenings and a large proportion of the weekend. I get the importance of exercise and I do and also have friends who do a few 5k runs a week but never mention it. I wouldn't mind if they would keep it to themselves, but they seem to have the knack of turning conversation around so they can talk about their bike ride, they moan about how tired and achey they are. They complain their dh's (who work full time) are not pulling their weight (dispite the fact they are spending a couple of days sat on their bikes). And their latest feats are all posted on social media. I just get the feeling they think it's great and the rest of the world is missing out when in reality non excessive excercisers just think it's a bit sad and they need to get a life.

OP posts:

thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 01/07/2019 15:25

I do loads of exercise because I am obsessed and I love it. It keeps me sane. I don't really talk about it unless asked but it clearly comes up from time to time.

I will willingly admit that I am self indulgent about it - it benefits no one but me. However I have no kids and a DP who is always at work so who cares!

sweetkitty · 01/07/2019 15:30

My SIL is like this, exercises all the time. Goes on exercise holidays, the itinerary for one day would kill me! Talks constantly about her diet (yes vegan but OTT kale and protein shakes vegan) I’m vegan and more of a junk food vegan she used to laugh at me being vegan btw. She cuts days out short as she has a class to go to and says she can’t eat out as she has to log all her food with her personal trainer and he’ll tell her off.

I think she having a mid-life crisis as she’s almost 50 and hates it but it’s her life and if it makes her happy.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 01/07/2019 15:50

If I get free time, housework has to take priority
that's one of the saddest thing I've read on here

OP, fair enough people who go on and on about any subject you are not interested in are boring. Fine.

Apart from that, there's no such thing as exercising excessively, and they are free to post whatever they like on their social media. People who share their hobby are interested.

I do feel that cyclists look down on those who partake in different forms of exercise.
no, that's just you. I have plenty of male and female cyclist among my friends, they don't look down at the rest of us.

Find yourself a hobby and spend less time bitching about your "friends".

lyralalala · 01/07/2019 16:00

I think people who are exercise birds are likely to be, or have been, bores about any hobby they have.

We were all greatly relieved when one friend dropped knitting as it had become constant. Stressed? Take up knitting. Getting made redundant? Take up knitting.

However, she’s now a runner and it’s exactly the same scenario.

Having a bad day? - Go for a run, you’ll love it

Husband left you up to your eyeballs in debt? - Go for a run, you’ll love it

Teething quadruplets and not slept for a year? - Go for a run, you’ll love it

Broken both your legs and stuck in hospital? - Go for run, you’ll love it

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 01/07/2019 16:18

Apart from that, there's no such thing as exercising excessively

That's not true. It's entirely possible to over-exercise.

EarlGreyOfTwinings · 01/07/2019 16:23

It's entirely possible to over-exercise

It requires so much that's it's unlikely many people fall into that category. They might exercise wrongly, but certainly not too much.

You are right, it is possible. I just don't believe it really applies to many people.

Original poster

rosesaremyfavouriteflower · 01/07/2019 17:16

BTW I am not saying all cyclists are boring and selfish. Just seems to be the ones who spend many hours a week on their bikes. And out of all exercise disciplines it does seem to be the cyclists who spend hours and hours at it.

You are right I am horrible to judge, but it is something that niggles at me. My problem I guess.

OP posts:

NEtoN10 · 01/07/2019 17:25

If you really love something you have to pick your audience. I'm obsessed with yoga but I would bore my DP or friends to death if I kept talking about it. Instead I talk for hours to my mum who is a yoga teacher and we don't bore each other!

It's never fair to go on and on about something that the other person has no interest in. Basic conversation skills.

MrPan · 02/07/2019 09:37

My problem I guess.

ahem.

Ihatehashtags · 02/07/2019 09:41

Exercising =fun. Listening to others talk about exercise = boring beyond belief!!

KarmaStar · 02/07/2019 10:53

I find your reference to vegans offensive babyshark

pepperpot99 · 02/07/2019 10:59

Well look at it this way OP: they may be - in your book - boring and obsessive and let's face it that's probably how they see you as well but at least they aren't drug runners or arms dealers. So it could be worse couldn't it?

RancidOldHag · 02/07/2019 11:30

The reference tomvegans is no more offensive than the whole of this thread is to those who exercise.

Some people are one-subject bores.

Doesn't mean everyone is.

Nor that it's wrong to mock those who tip into ridiculous

netflixlove · 02/07/2019 11:42

I think it's great to be active but I see what you mean OP- when I was 14 I suffered from really bad anorexia and literally my whole life revolved around working out which was very dangerous at a low weight! I lost all my friends as I had to quit school and never did anything aside from exercise or stay home.

I'm 20 now and have only just gotten into a somewhat healthy exercise routine- I go for a run every other day, nothing major just 20-30mins and it doesn't take up my whole life like it used to! (And I don't feel guilty if I need to rest or walk!) I also enjoy it more for the mental clarity rather than just focusing on burning cals.

madcatladyforever · 02/07/2019 11:47

Just been listening to my friend who has petitioned her husband for a divorce, she calls him the lycra twat
Never sees his kids as he is off cycling after work every day and every single weekend.
Never did any housework, gardening, looking after kids, no contribution to family life at all.

b0bb1n · 02/07/2019 11:54

Cycling has got to be the only exercise that isn't boring imo. Running, jogging, weights, gym machines are all dull as eff. But cycling is amazing, you can roam freely in towns, countryside, hills, anywhere you want. Even stationary bikes at home are fun and you can work so many parts of your body at once. Ohhh I need to get back into cycling as soon as bub is old enough.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 02/07/2019 12:00

netflix It's good to know you have reached a more healthy balance with your exercise. However, I don't think what the OP is describing is the same as what you were going through in the depths of your illness.

alittleprivacy · 02/07/2019 12:00

Meh, I skate most days. Outdoor distance 2 or 3 times a week, without DS. Shorter outdoor skates with DS 1 or 2 times a week. Rink skating 2 or 3 times a week with and without DS. The skatepark with DS 1 or 2 times a week. I’m a single parent so having a ‘sport’ I can share with my DS is amazing. I also enjoy it as adult time a few times a week when I have a babysitter.

It’s massively important to my mental and physical health. It does absolute wonders for my body. My butt looks nearly as good as it did 20 years ago and my arms and legs have never looked better. I love having something that is ‘me’ after so long of being subsumed by other people’s needs yet nearly completely shareable with DS.

If it’s boring and selfish I don’t really give a shit. I lived with an alcoholic drug addict for a huge chunk of my adult life and the boringness and selfishness of my skating doesn’t come remotely close to comparing to that and it’s frankly ridiculous to compare exercise addiction to substance addiction and abuse. That’s not to say some people can’t be selfish assholes about their need to exercise and the strains that puts on their partner. But substance addiction tends to go hand in hand with severe mental and often physical abuse of the partner and children that’s incomparably different.

TheOrigRightsofwomen · 02/07/2019 12:01

b0bb1n That's how I feel about running. I do love to cycle, but it's running that ticks all the boxes for me.

GummyGoddess · 02/07/2019 12:12

Yanbu if they won't shut up, yabu if you think they should just sit on their bums watching television.

Before children I was happily exercising 3 times a day, and I look forward to doing so again when they are a bit older. It's less time than most people spend watching television all day. I never went on about it, I found that those who didn't exercise went on and on at me all the time about it, I can only guess it made them uncomfortable but I don't know why they kept asking me if they didn't like it.

MotherWol · 02/07/2019 12:33

It sounds like you're not really friends, OP. You're not interested in their hobby, and they're not interested in yours. If you're happy scrubbing toilets for fun, perhaps unfollow them on social media and see them a bit less. Then you won't have to hear about their hobby, and you'll have more time for yours. Win-win!

Teddybear45 · 02/07/2019 12:37

Housework should never be a hobby. It should be a chore. Nobody in the world is going to be on their deathbed appreciating that they spent all their free time scrubbing loos.

Littlehouse156 · 02/07/2019 13:08

I think most people obsessively hobby because just being married, looking after kids and the rest of it is boring in itself.

Thisnamechanger · 02/07/2019 13:51

I think most people obsessively hobby because just being married, looking after kids and the rest of it is boring in itself

Or because sitting at a desk 9 hours a day makes you feel like you have no purpose in life!

AllBirthdaysMatter · 02/07/2019 14:18

I think most people obsessively hobby because just being married, looking after kids and the rest of it is boring in itself.

blimey, some people really are married with the wrong partner!

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