AIBU to worry he can't catch yawns?

[crossyroadie]

(Lighthearted. Kind of)

Ex-DP is admittedly very selfish: he's successful and has to be the best at everything he does which worked its way into our relationship, which became quite insidious and is why I ended it. He's seeking help for this and, while I'm pretty sure I don't want to be back in a relationship with him, we work well on a friendship level and I'm happy to support him through his therapy which can be quite grueling at times.

We went for a coffee over the weekend and I noticed something - he didn't catch my yawns, something I've read is a sign of a psychopath - www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/your-online-secrets/201508/why-psychopaths-are-immune-contagious-yawning

He protested it was because he'd napped that day and wasn't tired. I think it's because he totally lacks empathy.

AIBU to think he might have problems deeper than therapy if he can't catch yawns?

I don't yawn when other people yawn. Don't think I'm a psychopath though

I also find it interesting! It’s the kind of thing i muse about, too. I had heard the theory about yawning and psychopathic behaviour., which is why I opened your thread. And why I was relieved to notice that my husband and baby daughter both yawned after I did, recently!

I think you clearly are well rid of him.

Not catching yawns is linked to autism.

I’ve tried it with my ASD son - I had yawn tears running down my cheeks and he just kept shaking his head and saying, ‘nope!’

Sat here yawning now!!

And yawn sounds like a made up word as I've read it so many times!

@crustycrab, she already has!

I remember this on Luther. It is dependent on other traits too. Check the psychopath checklists out and see how many you can tick off. An ex of mine ticked nearly every single box which was frightening.

Also, psychopath is an often misunderstood word. Hollywood has made it into a Norman Bates type of assumption, when in actual fact, many people who have perfectly normal lives are psychopaths. It's a set of behaviours defining empathy and interaction with others, rather than a statement that they harbour dark thoughts and murderous intentions.

I wonder if some people just don’t yawn as easily though.

Yes OP it might be a sign he has a lack of empathy. But if he does have a lack of empathy, that will show in other ways as well.

A quick Google of studies into this suggests that people with autism are thought to be less likely to 'catch' yawns because they attend to people's faces less. Not because they lack empathy or are psychopaths or whatever.

Just reading this thread is making me want to yawn . Anyone else got that?

Yes reading this thread is also making me want to yawn.

DH and DS1 don't catch yawns. DS2 and I do.

They have autistic traits. Maybe your ex does too. It's not a major worry.

I don’t catch yawns. I’m not autistic. What a strange thing to worry about.

@yabbers I am assuming she is worried because catching yawns is a sign of empathy.

I don't catch yawns, although I don't think I'm a psychopath or lack empathy because if someone cries then I mostly end up crying with them.

I'm guessing if he was a psychopath you'd have much more severe clues....pretty sure going for lunch with someone & watching their lack of yawns is not really evidence hes a psychopath

WTF? He’s a psychopath because he didn’t yawn ? 😂

Try sneezing on your next lunch date and see if he says bless you

I've just yawned reading this. Glad I'm not a psychopath.

no yawning here,

I am assuming she is worried because catching yawns is a sign of empathy.

Except that it isn’t. The “science” behind that is shaky at best. There can be any number of reasons people don’t do it and there is no proven link to anything specific.

But nice try in suggesting I’m not empathetic. Way off mark, as usual.

@yabbers I was not suggesting anything about you, I do not know you.

The research does say that catching yawns is linked to empathy.
Pop science is extrapolating from that and saying that anyone who does not catch yawns is unempathetic. It is that bit that is not scientifically supported, the original research is as far as I can tell valid.

I’ve yawned three times since I opened this thread. I catch every yawn going, it’s a curse.

I always test new colleagues who sit near me for this and never trusted the one who didn’t catch yawns. She was deeply suspect.

ha ha yabbers

Autistic people do feel empathy, just as much as (and sometimes more than) NT people. Often they are unable to formulate how to show the appropriate amount of empathy, or don't know how, or can't cope with the level of their emotions so "switch off" (and end up looking uncaring).

I'm sure I've read somewhere that if a person yawns after you do, it shows they like you.

I wouldn't lay money on that though. It's probably very variable, like the photic sneeze.