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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Advice to calm nerves whilst flying?!

39 replies

C1239 · 01/07/2019 06:27

Hi All,
Going on holiday next week just over a two and a half hour flight which I know isn’t that long but the last couple of times I’ve flown I’ve been really nervous leading up to it and the flight Itself.
Has anyone got any tips on being a bit calmer whilst flying?

OP posts:
SavoyCabbage · 01/07/2019 06:43

I think of all the people,I’ve ever known in my whole life.

The dinner lady in my primary school, the dentist’s receptionist, that bloke who was married to my mum’s cousin for six months and then they split up, the woman at primary school pick up who hates me and I can’t remember why, the plumber who came to put in the outside tap etc.

Then I think how many of them have died in a plane crash. None.

It’s not logical but it works for me. Sort of ‘who The hell do I think I am that I will be the one who dies in a plane crash!’

Vibiano · 01/07/2019 08:02

I had hypnotherapy, it really helped me. I still get nervous before but then become strangely calm on the flight. I also prefer not to fly long haul.

Divgirl2 · 01/07/2019 08:04

If it was as dangerous as your irrational mind thinks cabin crew would be paid more. Gets me through!

Sweetdreamer93 · 01/07/2019 08:06
  1. Don’t watch aircrash investigation
  2. Download flight radar and look at how many planes are in the sky at any one time.
  3. A pilot told me to sign up to the squawk emergencies on flight radar and see that the emergencies are pretty much radio communication related and when in a holding pattern to land, it’s the ones that are low on fuel just requesting priority.
  4. Make sure you know what the noises are as often it’s the not knowing that causes your mind to wander.
  5. Turbulence is safe
  6. Use anything that may help. Relaxation music, eye mask etc

All this did help me.
Enjoy your flight and have a lovely time.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 01/07/2019 08:13

I feel sad for anyone nervous of flying, because they miss out on the joy if it Sad

My tip apart from pp is watch the cabin crew. If they are happy and carrying on as normal, then all is well. BTW that includes if they are asked to momentarily sit down for any rough moments. It's only when they stop chatting and start looking deadly serious then you should consider raising an eyebrow.

Actual real peril still comes a LONG way after that.

BertieBotts · 01/07/2019 08:14

Identify a person on the flight who looks as though they probably fly a lot - e.g. businessperson with laptop. Decide to make them your barometer of when to be alarmed. Any time something scary happens - a noise, turbulence, etc - notice that they look perfectly relaxed and even a bit bored/irritated.

Kalms, Rescue Remedy can also be of use.

European airlines (and North American and Australian) have really very good safety records compared with Asian, Middle Eastern, African airlines and so on. There are many safeguards in place in order to avoid disaster. The first sniff or hint of risk and European airspace is down on an airline banning stuff, which is excellent for passenger safety.

Fibbke · 01/07/2019 08:17

Planes actively like turbulence, it's what they are built for

I have a glenn harrold meditation app that is amazing

Imagine being a person who flies all the time for work and how relaxed they are. Act like that person.

BertieBotts · 01/07/2019 08:17

I do think the level of noise can be quite overwhelming in itself so just telling yourself it's only a noise, no need to be frightened by a noise can help. Your washing machine is terrifically noisy if you stand next to it but it doesn't mean anything bad is happening.

Cheesymonster · 01/07/2019 08:23

My anxiety starts during the drive to the airport. I've had a couple of full blown panic attacks in the past at airports. Now I get a 2mg dose of diazepam for the outward and return journeys from my GP before I travel. Takes the edge off but does not make me sleepy.

Ounce · 01/07/2019 08:24

Be cool.

parpsqueak · 01/07/2019 08:24

The meditation app Calm www.calm.com/ has a section of meditations for calming flight anxiety.

Meditation is good for anxiety generally as it teaches you how to deal with anxious thoughts. With practice you can gain a little distance from your thoughts and know that just because you have a thought, doesn't mean you have to believe it. You can notice and go, 'oh I'm having anxious thoughts again!' 'oh well!'

Also for me what worked was realising that no amount of worrying was going to change the outcome of this flight; I can't make it crash by worrying and I can't make it not crash IYSWIM, so what are the options here? Not flying? Well I want to go on holiday! I don't want anxiety to stop me living my life.

I still get intrusive thoughts about bad things that could happen, but I can easily dismiss them and ground myself in whatever I'm doing to pass the time.

newnewname19 · 01/07/2019 08:26

I was always a terribly nervous flyer, until I read the AMA thread on here from the pilot, it was fascinating. I also recently watched the itv series into the cockpit, and that also helped as it showed how relaxed the pilots were during turbulence!

HopefullyAnonymous · 01/07/2019 08:27

Diazepam.

AzulButterfly · 01/07/2019 08:50

Do you know what you’re frightened of, OP? I ask because I’m a really anxious flyer and couldn’t really articulate what the problem was, so everyone around me that I’d mention it to would reassure me about how safe flying was, how unlikely terrorism was, how short the flight was... not at all helpful. I was about 18 before I realised that actually, this was an extension of my vomiting phobia, and I was just terrified that people around me would get travel sick and I couldn’t escape.

Some airlines run a course for nervous flyers. I have no idea what they do or how much they cost but it might be worth looking into?

BayandBlonde · 01/07/2019 08:58

I'm an Airline Captain - Ask me anything! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/3293146-i-m-an-airline-captain-ask-me-anything

BayandBlonde · 01/07/2019 08:58

Take a read if this. It will put your mind at rest Smile

Crayolaaa · 01/07/2019 09:00
  1. What savoy says - what makes me so special to be that one in a however million.
  2. Diazepam and a G&T.
  3. Allen Carr Fear of Flying - lots of tips in this book including an explanation of what the noises mean!
  4. Thinking it would at least be a quick way to go.
HairyFloppins · 01/07/2019 09:02

I have a double vodka and coke normally does the trick.

dontlikebeards · 01/07/2019 09:20

Thanks for the tips, although just reading this had made me feel sick!

C1239 · 01/07/2019 19:32

Thank you everyone. I think I just get nervous about being out of control and something bad happening. I’m not a fan of take off at all , the last flight I went on last year there was quite a bit of turbulence it actually made me cry, sad I know !! It would be lovely to be a calm flyer!

OP posts:
Gth1234 · 01/07/2019 19:47

you know very well that the car that will crash won't be yours, or you wouldn't ever go in a car. Just the same with aeroplanes. The odds are on your side.

Mamabear12 · 01/07/2019 19:49

AzulButterfly That’s exactly why I don’t like flying!

Namelessinseattle · 01/07/2019 19:54

White wine or Prosecco in the bar. Frantic killer sudoku-ing during take off and more white wine on the plane- add ice if necessary.

flipflopped · 01/07/2019 19:56

I hate flying also. It’s mainly due to the fear of feeling/being sick on board and being unable to get off.

Last year I tried diazepam and it really helped, took the edge off it all completely.

AzulButterfly · 01/07/2019 22:27

I had no idea so many people would have the same fear! Solidarity, friends!

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