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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let my DS swim in the river?

28 replies

BBOA · 30/06/2019 18:46

Same thing comes up as soon as the sun's out. DS says all his friends are going swimming in the local river so why can't he? Every year I remind him of at least one of his friends who has spent 5 days with V&D and the boy who was hospitalised with some hideous bug caught from the river. (Friends daughter was a day away from hospital only last week post river swim). Don't want to be a killjoy as back in the day I did swim in rivers myself, but that was before certain pesticides were banned so they probably obliterated every living thing in the river! He's 14. Should I let him get on with it and let him learn a lesson or am I right to stick by my guns? I personally would have just done it without making a fuss but thankfully he still does what he's told.... Well for now anyway!

OP posts:
flissfloss65 · 30/06/2019 18:50

I really discouraged my dc from doing this. There’s reeds you can get tangled in, currents and things like viles disease to catch. Luckily they listened to me.

Bostonbullsmumma · 30/06/2019 18:52

I'd be more worried about drowning than illness. Only last year my close friends brother drowned in the river. Swam in the river many times until he was caught up and swept away. Already seen the new reports of drowning this year- so very sad.

CitadelsofScience · 30/06/2019 18:55

After reading about that poor 12yr old girl who drowned recently, I'd be more concerned about drowning. It can happen so easily and quickly.

KikiMoo · 30/06/2019 18:55

YANBU. A teenage lad died in a river near us last year as he jumped in during the heatwave. He went under and he got his leg caught in some scrap and sadly drowned.

And yes, there are some vile diseases in there. Not to mention dead animals, animal poo and wee, probably dead bodies. Nope nope nope.

BenWillbondsPants · 30/06/2019 18:55

YANBU at all. I don't let my DS do it either. There are a million reasons not to - mainly drowning obviously. Last year I saw about 4 or 5 of my pupils walking past my house going to the river in our village and they all told me where they were off to. They were ALL ill for about 3 or 4 days afterwards.

Original poster
BBOA · 30/06/2019 19:17

Yes.. drowning is of course a risk too. I can add the recent very sad examples to my argument. So tragic to cone from what was supposed to be fun. They just don't realise the risks. It's a slow flowing river nearby but due to the high concentration of crap in there, there are loads of reeds and plants. There's also the risk of boys showing off and being idiots and jumping off things into shallow water. Thanks for the responses. Will stick to my guns!

OP posts:
billybagpuss · 01/07/2019 07:08

I'm going to go against the grain here, I love a river swim and there are benefits to cold water swimming including improvements in MH which the scientific community have started to take notice of, BUT and its a massive but, I do think kids need to be educated about open water safety. As has been previously mentioned someone died by getting caught up in the river and there are deaths, often due to lack of knowledge.

Things that kids need to know:

  1. Cold water shock is a very real thing, and the biggest killer as it temporarily paralyses you, do not jump into a river without acclimatising yourself first, you need to go in gradually especially when its hot when there is greater difference between air and water temperature.
  2. Water quality, it sounds like the quality where your DS swims isn't great and as such I would stick to your guns on this one.
  3. Know what is underneath, if you can't see it, don't jump into it.
  4. Do not swim alone.
  5. Be aware of the current, particularly after heavy rain. One of my favourite spots has a little gentle swoosh that lands you on a beach, but if the level is higher it takes you further downstream where I do not know the exit points so will not risk it. There can also be undercurrents so I usually research a new spot first from other swimmer.

The same advice goes for swimming in the sea when you need to add knowledge of rip tides to your safety checks.

Weils disease as mentioned above tends to be more in still water like canals so I always avoid them (also I think there's bylaws against it)

PantsyMcPantsface · 01/07/2019 07:11

My mum lives on a riverbank in quite an isolated house - there's no mains sewage to the property... he'd be quite literally swimming in shit from a few houses... might deter him a bit.

Doodlebug5 · 01/07/2019 07:20

It also might help to tell him its crayfish season... tell him to Google.

They are swarming our rivers... I wouldn't step foot in the river at the moment

Fatted · 01/07/2019 07:24

YANBU. I'd be worried about drowning. We live near to a river and I'm worried about having to deal with this when our kids get older.

BarbarianMum · 01/07/2019 07:24

Depends on the river. Depends on whether he'd listen. If he's determined to swim, it might be better to teach him how to do so safely.

stucknoue · 01/07/2019 07:29

Unless it's a designated swimming area with lifeguard, no. There's been drownings already. My dog does swim in rivers and he get lots of eye infections from them.

Frouby · 01/07/2019 07:39

I wouldn't let him no. And I say that after spending Saturday morning kayaking on the local lake. Ds (5) goes 2 or 3 times a week and the dcs always finish a training session by jumping off paddleboards and swimming.

A local reservoir has been shut because of blue algae for a few days which can cause serious illness and even death.

I would look for a local watersports facility and sign him up for some training sessions. That will teach him about water safety and where he can safely swim and will possibly remove the temptation to swim in the river.

Watersports can be cheaper and more accessible than you think, membership is £99 per annum for a family of 5 at our lake. That includes 2 training sessions a week, one free time session and all equipment is provided. It's the cheapest activity we have ever done with the dcs. And has the added benefit of making the local lake less taboo. Hoping it keeps ds safe as he gets older.

Hereward1332 · 01/07/2019 08:08

Totally depends on the river. Drowning is a real risk, as is getting tangled in weeds. That said, I take DC swimming in our river - they wear buoyancy aids that stop them going under, and the current is slow enough. Not really concerned about weil's disease in the countryside in flowing water and no stomach upsets so far.

Open water swimming is awesome - much nicer than a pool.

Dollywilde · 01/07/2019 08:12

I have some very fond memories of swimming in rivers in Devon on holiday as a kid, but the point is (1) we were supervised by parents at all times and (2) the water quality was good. In this scenario I’d say no as well OP.

BlueSkiesLies · 01/07/2019 08:13

^My mum lives on a riverbank in quite an isolated house - there's no mains sewage to the property... he'd be quite literally swimming in shit from a few houses... might deter him a bit*

If you’re in the U.K. you are talking complete and utter, literal shite.

If you aren’t connected to mains you have a septic tank or a cesspit.

Funnyface1 · 01/07/2019 08:18

Too many drownings in bodies of water in our country last year from people trying to escape the heatwave and 5 this year already. Way too dangerous, absolutely not worth the risk.

SushiForAmateurs · 01/07/2019 08:32

River swimming is the business, but it is risky, and kids (well, people) either need to be fully aware of the risks and safety measures (as per @billybagpuss), or 100% closely supervised. And even if closely supervised, they still need to be fully water-wise.

No way would I send my kids off with other kids to swim in a river, just them.

ControversialFerret · 01/07/2019 08:34

YANBU.

Every year when there's a heatwave there are drownings. Teenagers are a particular risk because they have poor impulse control and aren't risk aware.

Cold water shock can be lethal - and people don't understand how easy it is to drown. They see the news stories and assume that it was someone who couldn't swim, or who got tangled in something. They don't realise that jumping into cold water can literally paralyse your limbs so that you can't swim - no matter how strong or good a swimmer you are normally.

ChocoCraft · 01/07/2019 08:39

YANBU. There are organised open water swimming events, if people want to swim open water then they should go to them. Still not 100% safe (nothing ever is) but at least there are qualified life guards. Even confident swimmers drown in open water, too many lives needlessly cut short due to this.

PantsyMcPantsface · 01/07/2019 10:13

If you aren’t connected to mains you have a septic tank or a cesspit.

Nope - not at the time they bought the property. Before they sell it on they have to install some solution from a list of them available (I forget what they all are - I don't live there anymore so my interest is somewhat minimal) and it's on their plan for the near future to get done - but as long as they're in there it's perfectly OK apparently. They looked into it all in quite some depth when the regulations changed and took a lot of legal advice on it - it's a couple of very very isolated properties down a footpath that hasn't even got a proper road going up to it.

Sorry to burst your bubble on that one.

Mine get told in no uncertain terms I'll blooming well kill them myself if I catch them doing anything stupid around rivers - heard of too many drowning incidents both locally and beside my mum's from teenagers thinking they're immortal and can do absolutely anything and coming a cropper as a result - I don't even let the dog off lead near water (mainly because wet dog bloody stinks to be fair).

Iliterallycantthinkofanythingq · 01/07/2019 11:10

Swimming in a river is so dangerous because of the reeds. I'd never consider letting my child to this for this reason.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 01/07/2019 11:19

Lots of scare mongering here. I'm a very keen open water swimmer, and regularly swim in the Nene. It's an amazing experience - totally different from swimming in a chlorine box. I've never got ill from the river, although another friend did contract leptosiprosis after swimming with an open cut (definitely avoid doing that).

The major concern is safety. If he wants to try swimming in a river, his best bet is to find a local group of experienced open water swimmers, who will help him to get experience of doing it safely. There's also really good advice on the Outdoor Swimming Society website.

www.outdoorswimmingsociety.com/is-it-safe/

The message to young people of "don't swim in rivers" doesn't really work, and deprices them of the enjoyment and health benefits that come from open water swimming. Instead, it is preferable to teach them to do it safely.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 01/07/2019 11:23

Here's the top 10 tips for safe summer swimming.

www.outdoorswimmingsociety.com/10-tips-for-summer-swim-safety/

AquaFaba · 01/07/2019 14:21

Please also make sure that you don’t trespass in private property.

Many people don’t realise that the riverbanks and fishing rights on many stretches of river are privately owned.

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